What your flirting style says about you, according to science

by · Mail Online

Learning how to flirt is one of life's key lessons – but the way you do it says a lot about you, according to science.

Experts have discovered evidence that your personality can influence the way you chat someone up.

They found significant differences between people who flirt for romance and those who flirt for personal gain.

And it's bad news if you turn on the charm in a bid to get a free drink.

'The present study highlights that the goals people have when flirting can be shaped by individual differences,' the researchers said.

'Results offer unique insight into the personality factors that influence flirting motives.'

Their findings, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, revealed that those who flirt for personal gain are more likely to have personality traits linked to psychopathy and manipulation.

Meanwhile, those who flirt for romantic purposes are more likely to have traits linked to humanism including authenticity, openness and empathy.

The findings revealed that those who flirt for personal gain – like getting a free drink – are more likely to have personality traits linked to psychopathy and manipulation

For their study the team, from the University of Alabama, recruited thousands of participants in groups of three – consisting of one main participant and two people who knew them well.

All were asked to fill out a series of online surveys which involved reviewing examples of flirting in a range of social settings.

These included in romantic contexts, workplace environments, at parties and in bars and restaurants.

For each setting, the participants were asked to rate the frequency and skill of the main participant's flirting behaviour.

They were also quizzed on what motives lay behind the flirting behaviour of their friend.

Alongside the flirting measures, the main participants also completed assessments for a range of personality traits.

Analysis revealed that individuals who scored higher on psychopathy and Machiavellianism were more likely to use flirting to achieve goals or obtain resources.

These traits are defined by a lack of empathy, shallow emotions, grandiosity, manipulation and deceit.

People who scored higher for humanistic traits – which centre on inherent human goodness and personal growth – showed a small positive link to romantic flirting.

'I would want the average reader to understand that people do have somewhat consistent flirting behaviours and that these behaviours are motivated in certain ways toward certain goals,' author Braden Hall told PsyPost.

'It also underscores the importance of considering where someone is coming from when you sense they are flirting with you.'

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In 2022, scientists from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology revealed the best flirting tactics for men and women.

For men, the key is being funny and generous, according to the team.

On the flip side, males prefer the opposite sex to appear sexually available and to laugh at their jokes.

'What's most effective depends on your gender and whether the purpose of the flirtation is a long–term or short–term relationship,' said Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology.

TOP 43 REASONS MEN ARE STILL SINGLE

Scientists led by Menelaos Apostolou from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus anonymously asked men on Reddit why they thought they were still single.

They analysed more than 6,700 comments and revealed the top 43 reasons why people are unable to find a partner.

Here is the complete list —

  1. Poor looks (including baldness, and short stature)
  2. Low self-esteem/confidence 
  3. Low effort 
  4. Not interested in relationships 
  5. Poor flirting skills 
  6. Introverted 
  7. Recently broke up 
  8. Bad experiences from previous relationships 
  9. No available women 
  10. Overweight 
  11. Different priorities 
  12. Shyness
  13. Too picky 
  14. Anxiety 
  15. Lack of time 
  16. Social awkward 
  17. Enjoying being single 
  18. Depression 
  19. Poor character 
  20. Difficult to find women to match 
  21. Poor mental health
  22. Lack of achievements 
  23. Stuck with one girl 
  24. Lack of social skills 
  25. Have not got over previous relationship 
  26. Don’t know how to start a relationship 
  27. Lack of money 
  28. I do not trust women 
  29. Not picking up clues of interest
  30. Sexual issue 
  31. Fear of relationships 
  32. 'I am not interesting'
  33. Fear of rejection 
  34. 'I will not be a good partner' 
  35. Attracted to the wrong women
  36. Homosexual 
  37. Given up
  38. Is not worth the effort 
  39. Fear of commitment 
  40. Health — disability issue
  41. Difficult to keep a relationship 
  42. Addictions
  43. Other