The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Recap: Not Again

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives
The Book of Power and Pain
Season 4 Episode 5
Editor’s Rating ★★★
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As it turns out, Harry Jowsey is not a sufficient distraction to keep Taylor out of Dakota’s bed for even a single night. Harry Jowsey is not even enough to keep Taylor from laying into Dakota about Vanderpump Villa (yes, again) as everyone is gathered companionably around the firepit. Taylor is, in fact, so focused on fighting with Dakota that she does not notice Harry Jowsey clutching his own face in horror until he suddenly announces, “I’m gonna go home.” After this, it was inevitable that Layla would walk into Taylor’s room the following morning and find Dakota’s naked butt lying in bed beside her. Yes, again.

With heavy sighs and oncoming migraines, everyone hauls out the excellent advice and reasonable admonishments that Taylor and Dakota failed to heed the first 30 times they gave it. But maybe 31 times is the charm. The guilty couple is still half asleep as they try to explain themselves to Mayci and Layla, who are grilling them with folded arms from the doorway. Later that morning, learning that they did not even use protection, Miranda warns that the network would not be pleased with a pregnant Bachelorette. Whitney gives her friend an expressive, disappointed, “Taylor!” Dr. Jessi comes in hot with an astute diagnosis: “I think that your core wound is you think that you’re unlovable because of your dad,” she says, because Taylor’s biological father abandoned her. And Dakota also made Taylor feel unlovable, so this is Taylor’s way of trying to get that love back. Even the universe seems to be reprimanding Taylor, because the women coincidentally run into Jesse Palmer, the host of The Bachelorette, at brunch.

DadTok, for what it’s worth, is no better pleased with Dakota, though they do tend to put more of the blame on Taylor than is strictly fair. The boys agree that she has Dakota on a six-inch leash, but Whitney’s husband, Conner, tells Dakota that he alone has the power to take off his dog collar, which everyone agrees is brilliant advice. I, too, appreciate the wisdom of this metaphor, but I still believe it was a mistake to let the men gather in a group. Even without Jordan present, DadTok seems to be having a bad influence on some of the men. (Hilariously, Jordan missed the fireworks he himself set off because he and Jessi had to fly to New York for Jessi to accept her “Page Six” Virtual-Reali-Tea Boss Babe award.) Mayci’s husband, Jacob, once seemed like an exemplary MomTok partner. Now, he is mansplaining self-promotion to Mayci as if her expertise in this very area is not what pays his mortgage, and getting angry when she tells him she doesn’t need his advice. If Mayci really needs help with self-promotion, she should go to Whitney, who has appeared in nothing but matching lycra sets for the entire time she’s been doing Dancing With the Stars.

Mayci has just gotten an alarming call from her publicist. Her book publishers are not happy with the low ticket sales for a promotional event in Salt Lake City. They feel that Mayci has not made the book a priority, she is told, as her infant daughter squalls eloquently in the background. Mayci knows that she needs to post more; what she lacks is the time. Jacob bombards her with suggestions she has no bandwidth to carry out even if they were useful, but resents being asked to help with actual tasks. “I’m not going to do any action because you don’t give me the respect of actually using my help,” he says, with his full chest. By way of explanation, Jacob says in a confessional that for Mormons, men get the priesthood when they’re 12 years old and women don’t, and household decisions should lie with the priesthood. But he’s not trying to be toxic. 

To make matters worse, Jessi had agreed to host one of these Salt Lake City book tour events, but backed out when the date conflicted with an offer from Alex Cooper of Call Her Daddy for her Unwell podcast brand. At the moment, Mayci is too worn out from her book tour, being post-partum, getting hounded by her publicist, and failing to keep Taylor out of Dakota’s bed to confront Jessi about this, which Jacob views as just more of his advice that Mayci refuses to follow. But the rest of MomTok agrees that Jessi is in the wrong here. Have we not all learned the golden rule of MomTok by now? Nothing is more sacred to this group than the responsibility to attend one another’s events, without exception. Layla and Miranda, for instance, were also offered the Unwell event, but turned it down in favor of supporting Mayci. The fact that Jessi had agreed to host this event and then backed out only makes it worse.

Luckily, or unluckily, depending on one’s perspective, Mayci is not allowed to let the situation lie for long. Jordan and Jessi have returned to the Airbnb, and Jordan has broken out the ol’ truth box. Jordan isn’t even interesting enough to come up with his own vehicles for stirring up drama. He has to borrow from plotlines of previous seasons. Layla says, “Ew, Jordan is such a wannabe MomToker.” Whitney, as though having seen a ghost, immediately leaves the house and takes her husband with her. Mason and Dakota also decline to participate, choosing instead to work out shirtless nearby. I don’t know why the others don’t realize that this option is also available to them, but they’re doing it. 

Miraculously, it doesn’t go that badly. The question Zac pulls is, “Who needs MomTok the most?,” which he deftly diffuses by saying, “DadTok.” God help me, is Zac growing on me? Mayci cannot avoid the question directed specifically to her: “How do you feel that Jessi chose the Unwell event over yours?” With a big sigh, Mayci admits that she felt kind of shitty about it, which seems to come as a surprise to Jessi. But there’s no real fight, just a group of women approaching conflict respectfully and honestly and coming to a solution. Jessi apologizes and says she will turn down Alex Cooper and go through with hosting Mayci’s event as originally planned. 

But not to worry. The episode still ends on a high(-pitched) note. Taylor and Dakota are meeting for their quarterly breakup, which begins amicably enough. And then, sure as the dawn, Taylor begins to heat up, Dakota stonewalls, and the conversation ends in shouting and tears.