Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: Sea Sickness

Below Deck Mediterranean
Match Me If You Can
Season 11 Episode 7
Editor’s Rating ★★★★
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This week, Luke’s narrative arc arrives at the end of its second act. In a screenplay structured in three acts, that’s the point at which everything falls apart. Luke has lost Gen and Joy. He’s lost the respect of most of his other co-workers, including his bosun, and he’s within an inch of losing his job. He also loses the trust of his captain, who learns about the sheets from Nathan. Sandy, promptly wishing she had never heard about this at all, laments that she’s never seen anything like it before. Despite the unprecedented nature of the transgression, it seems obvious to her that some ramification is in order. Not only has Luke displayed bad moral judgment, but he has also displayed bad seamanship (sorry) — maintaining a clean shared living space is part of the work expected and required of a yachtie. I appreciated this reminder; it’s easy to lose sight of that when we’re so engaged by the interpersonal repercussions of the incident.

It’s a bad, bad day for Luke. Any person in Nathan’s position would be justified in feeling angry, but the fact that the person in question is Nathan — famously an explosive grudge-holder — only makes matters worse. The vibes on deck plummet; Coop notices that Nathan is in “a bad mood with Luke.” Even before he talks to Sandy, Luke feels the toll of the crew’s disappointment. He tells Joy that the “punishment” on all sides is getting to be overwhelming after she teases that he deserves to take out a particularly stinky trash bag. At this point, Sandy had already written to staffing services checking on potentially new deckhands, but since none were available, she decides to keep it classy. When she calls him to the bridge, Sandy doesn’t go over the details or ask Luke what the hell he was thinking; she only writes up a report. That means other captains looking to hire Luke will see the incident on his record. Muscular, Men’s Health-cover, 6’7” Luke looks small. He is on the verge of tears, but waits until he’s in his cabin’s bathroom to cry. “My whole body is numb,” he shudders. He worries that the report, which describes something stupidly small, preventable, and embarrassing, could put his entire career in jeopardy.

Only one thing can explain Luke’s behavior, from the day of the sheets onward: He must have forgotten, somehow, that everything is being recorded. Even if Sandy didn’t write the report, I assume any yachting company doing due diligence would come across what happened, which was televised. Ironically, the tenderest I have ever felt towards Luke was in a moment when he seems to have forgotten about the cameras. Nathan comes into their cabin as Luke is on break, half asleep. Luke apologizes to the bosun (“sorry, dude”) and then asks sheepishly: “Will you still give me another chance to be your bro?” What can I say? I have a heart, and it breaks a little. On his late-night shift, Luke texts his mom that he’s “all alone.”

Apart from Luke, the crew has a good-ish day welcoming Suzanne, Amy, and the bachelors onboard. As expected, Amy is overly demanding even before the men arrive: She intercepts Aesha, on her way to get Sugar Baby some chicken breast, to “talk strategy” with Suzanne. At first, I was confused why Aesha needed to know about Suzanne’s relationship goals, but as it turns out, Amy wanted to lock in who was going to sit where when during the first round of speed dating. Apparently, Amy hasn’t changed her methods much since her last unsuccessful attempt: After arriving and toasting to the trip, each man gets a quick, get-to-know-you chat with Suzanne. The bachelors run a predictable gamut –– one immediately starts talking about AI, one used to serve in the military, one is 33 years old, and several are douchey. I was only surprised to learn that Suzanne’s entrepreneurial efforts include “a curriculum to teach the art of writing.” You can get rich doing that?

Gen might have gotten away scot-free from the sheets incident in terms of optics — no one questions her involvement, even though her job description includes housekeeping — but karma hounds her during the first day of the charter. She drops a full tray of champagne when the men arrive, and is later confronted with a delicate puddle of Sugar Baby’s pee on the carpet. At least, the Luke-and-sheets fiasco has taken Gen’s mind off her competition with Kayley, who has found her groove as second stew. The gameness with which Kayley has approached her dynamic with Gen is commendable; she gives Gen’s negative energy absolutely nothing to feed on.

In the galley, Joy struggles to accommodate two sheets of Suzanne’s preferences and one sheet of Sugar Baby’s. Suzanne is “putting a lot of rocks in my road just to see if I’m going to trip,” the chef muses. I’ll never get tired of these French-ified metaphors. The dinner theme is Paris, which is perfect for Joy, or at least should be. Suzanne complains about every single thing on her plate, whining that she was “expecting Michelin star” quality. I’m not sure how familiar Suzanne is with fine dining, but usually you don’t get to pick and choose what’s on your plate when you go to a starred restaurant. Also, I question Suzanne and her guests’ approach to the Paris theme. First, for no reason I can comprehend, Kurt is in a fedora. Was he thinking of berets? Second, of course the French eat lobster –– but if you want a Paris dinner, why not request steak and moules frites, frog legs and perfect soup, I don’t know, any of the thousands of French classics?

When she’s not complaining about the food, Suzanne hears a bit about the bachelors as they respond to Amy’s rapid-fire question cards. Earlier in the day, Billy enlightened us to the fact that “women nowadays” are “selfish and entitled,” and now Kurt echoes his unhappiness with women’s “beliefs and values,” bemoaning the difficulty of finding a “traditional woman.” Would a traditional woman comp your yacht trip, Kurt? (Kat’s reaction: “Ew.”) Again, for no reason I can comprehend, the sentiment must have resonated with Suzanne, because by the next day, Kurt is in her top three, along with Will –– Aesha’s favorite and a seemingly nice guy –– and Billy, Aesha’s least favorite, who rudely snaps at the crew and FaceTimes another woman to ask for nudes within earshot of Gen. Still sore from her thwarted boatmance, Gen briefly entertains the notion of telling Suzanne and/or Amy that “Billy is a little liar,” but thankfully stays out of it. 

The night ends nicely, with Sandy asking Joe about his mother, who is doing okay. So far, Joe hasn’t wandered from his redemption path. Maybe redemption is too strong a word, but with all of this attention on Luke, Joe’s normal-bordering-on-wholesome fling with Kayley is a breath of fresh air. Aesha mentions that she worried about their involvement at first, given Joe’s track record, but seeing that it’s going so well, there’s no reason not to give it her blessing. She and Nathan agree to send Joe and Kayley on the guests’ horse-riding excursion later that day. In fact, it’s a beautiful, hopeful morning, the sun shining bright on the peaceful Adriatic Sea, when everything starts going wrong. 

First, Coop eats a pastry that has traces of peanuts in it. That’s very bad because Coop is very allergic to peanuts. The accident happens when he comes into the galley looking for a bite, and Joy offers him something with hazelnut spread, not realizing that it “may contain peanuts,” per the label. Coop, that sweetie, assures Joy that he’s okay, then takes two Benadryl and becomes pretty sick. He tells Nathan, who radios the captain, who gets the medic to take a look at him. After a couple of rounds of throwing up and an evaluation by the doctor, Coop is okay, but the whole thing puts a fright into the crew, and especially into Joy. “Cooper is about to die,” she worries. The accident couldn’t have come at a worse time: She was already feeling bad about her performance as a chef since the previous night’s dinner, and now she feels like a “shitty chef and a shitty person.” 

Sandy finds Joy crying in the galley and reassures her that she did not “almost kill” Coop and that she’s doing an excellent job. Alas, it’s really Luke that makes Joy feel better, hugging her and calming her down. Like Aesha, I felt for the chef, who is very good at her job, and who proves her unimpeachable professionalism when Suzanne strides into the galley to inspect her menu and change everything. In a way, it’s better this way: Suzanne won’t have anything to complain about if lunch and dinner have been customized according to her taste.

While Joy works on Suzanne’s dinner specifications, Kayley and Joe take the guests on the excursion. Suzanne picks Billy, Will, and Kurt to ride horses with her while the rest picnic with Amy. Brian, who mentioned to Amy on the way that his stomach felt off, is sick. I worried about what it might do to Joy’s psyche to learn that a guest got sick from the food, too, but luckily it’s not that –– no one else is sick, and after throwing up, Brian feels better. What is it with all the bodily fluid this season? Given that the sun is nearly down and one guest is sick in the bushes, Joe, Kayley, and Amy decide to call it and bring the guests home to get ready for their furry-themed (?) dinner. On the ride back, a loose and flirty Suzanne notices Kayley and Joe are “a thing.” 

On the boat, Aesha and Kat chat about things with Coop, and Kat worries she might be overthinking it. Aesha encourages her to let go and “see what happens.” If something happens to Kat and Coop, I will never watch this show again (just kidding, editors). Meanwhile, the awkwardness between Luke and Nathan intensifies. Luke tries to apologize again, but Nathan is still so angry that Luke worries he’ll never regain the bosun’s trust. Right before dinner, with his furry ears on, Luke asks to speak to the captain. Again on the verge of tears, he tells Sandy that he’s “breaking the flow” of the deck team, and that the best thing for him to do is leave. I have to say, I didn’t see this one coming (sorry again). I understand why Luke feels hopeless, and I don’t want to make excuses for him, but I do think Nathan should move on; if not for Luke’s benefit, then for the team’s and Nathan’s own. It’s part of his growth journey as a leader to better manage his emotions. Anyway, I doubt we’ve seen the last of Luke yet, and honestly, I’m ready to talk about something else. It’s been three whole episodes!