The Real Housewives of Rhode Island Recap: Friend Like Me

The Real Housewives of Rhode Island
Stay Clam and Carry On
Season 1 Episode 11
Editor’s Rating ★★★★
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Given that Liz called Jo-Ellen the devil, it should come as no shock that their meeting in the last episode didn’t result in any resolution. I also think that if the devil were to come to earth in disguise, he would choose a name other than “Jo-Ellen,” for the record, but that’s beside the point. On the way home, she hops on the phone with Alicia to vent about how insane Liz is. “I love her, and I know this is where the flip-flopper in me is, but she’s fucking mean,” Alicia says, summing up so many long-term friendships in which bad behavior gets grandfathered in. But finally, and perhaps thanks to the show, Alicia is reassessing. 

Meanwhile, Rulla — whom you might remember from being in the opening credits and almost nothing else — visits her husband at work, presumably to make sure he isn’t cheating on her there. But, no, it turns out she’s there for medical attention because she stubbed her toe so hard that the nail lifted up. I’m disgusted at even having to hear about this. To celebrate the end of summer (and perhaps her healed foot?), the couple are planning to throw a big Arabian Nights–themed bash that will surely keep Bravo’s sensitivity department on their toes. Everybody’s invited except Jo-Ellen, obviously.

Speaking of cultural sensitivity, Ashley is making tacos. In the process, Jared, a man whose entire personality is that he runs a dining establishment, tries to open a can by stabbing it with a knife. The family discusses what to do at the end of their lease, but the talking in circles very quickly ends with Jared realizing that there’s no world in which he’s letting go of this toxic coffee shop. And in fairness, it would have been dumb to bail before they got to take advantage of the Bravo boom that’s surely happening there now. Fans are probably lining up for scones in hopes of spotting Ashley crying behind the counter. I’d pay double for that. 

Things take a sharp pivot when Liz and Dolores arrive at the Rhode Island State House. Not since January 6 has someone looked so out of place in a government building, but they’re there for good reason. They meet with two representatives who worked to make Rhode Island the first state to recognize menopausal women as a protected class in the workplace and tell them about the weed gummy for menopause that they’re working on. The government officials don’t really seem to care, but I’m glad the gummy is opening up this conversation on television. 

With Alicia still feeling glum over the car ride from hell, Rosie shows up to her house with pink balloons and flowers to cheer her up. Even better, she brought ducks. Specifically, the little rubber ducks that Jeep owners are obsessed with trading and keeping on their dashboards, which they decorate together. Alicia lights up like it’s Christmas morning, just in time for the mood to be brought back down by discussion of the video of Brian cheating on Rulla. As I could have told you the minute Alicia was assigned the responsibility of telling Rulla, that simply was never going to happen. Now weeks later, Rosie realizes she’s going to need to take matters into her own hands … just in time for the Arabian Nights party.

“I love an Arabian night, ya know,” Alicia says en route to the event, continuing to create beautiful poetry every time she opens her mouth. She may be hopeful to see a donkey there but is nervous about seeing an ass: Liz. Billy encourages her to work through it with Liz, but she’s bracing herself. Rosie similarly advises her to be the bigger person when Liz arrives, but notes, “Not that I can really give you that advice, because I’m definitely not being the bigger person.” We love self-awareness. 

Ultimately, Alicia bravely does end up going up to Liz to say hello, and the entire table clears — likely for their own safety. But fear not, the exchange actually goes quite well! Alicia tells her that she could never hate her and doesn’t want to fight, and in turn Liz apologizes for blurting out something she shouldn’t have. It’s a big deal for Liz to apologize, Alicia says, and while she’ll forgive, she won’t forget. They set such a great example that Kelsey and Rosie even attempt to have a reconciliation moment of their own, albeit a much more half-assed one that you can tell neither of them really mean. 

Then the time comes for Rosie to fill Rulla in on the video shared on the girls’ trip. Well, technically, it isn’t the right time at all, but that doesn’t stop Rosie, who blindsides Alicia by bringing it up the second Rulla walks over. Violins playing a sound-alike of “Toxic,” by Britney Spears, hauntingly score the scene, which is tactlessly playing out right in the middle of Rulla’s party. Rosie tells her that the video was of a blonde woman kissing and hugging Brian and that it was dated the day before the polo event, to which Rulla immediately says, “How do you know that dating is valid?” Her brain is broken. For the love of God, the date was shown on the car dash in the video — do you know what kind of criminal mastermind this mistress would have to be to pull that off? When Brian saunters over, he echoes that same rebuttal, showing us exactly who’s feeding it to Rulla. She’s clearly able to forgive the obvious cheating, but will she be able to forgive him for making a fool out of her on national television? Time will tell. 

The party concludes with a cheers to “Bitches love a summah!” And as they all embrace, Alicia says, “I do love you guys; it’s a trauma bond” — which is the perfect thesis to this entire franchise. While amends were largely made tonight, their upcoming trip to Block Island (I love that they’re not letting them even leave the state for their cast trips) will still need to feature a lot more making up once Jo-Ellen is back in the mix. And as Gary tells her, if they’re on an island, there’s no escape.