The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Premiere Recap: Sisterhood

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
Chosen Family
Season 7 Episode 1
Editor’s Rating ★★★★
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This season of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City starts off on an incredibly somber note, given the tragic passing of Mary Crosby’s son, Robert Jr. Just three weeks before his passing, we see now-heartbreaking footage of Mary excited over her son’s return home after 86 days in prison, talking about the progress he’s made with his sobriety, while also still cautious and fearful that things could “go left.” The show then flashes forward to the other women emotionally processing the news of his overdose and coming together at Angie’s to console one another and share memories of Robert. With all of them there save for Mary, Angie notes that she never would have otherwise imagined them being able to sit in the same room like that — but they agree that being there for each other and Mary through this tragedy is much more important than their petty drama. But even in the darkest of moments, Housewives are Housewives, and Angie brings a sprinkle of levity by suggesting that Lisa is in perimenopause.

Having to balance coverage of this unimaginable tragedy with more typical Housewives scenes is a remarkably tricky balancing act, but one that the show handles well. The loss still looms large in the women’s lives throughout the episode, but we’re also able to catch up with them and find out what’s been going on in since we last saw them. We get a scene between Whitney and Bronwyn, for example, who really bonded over their respective marital issues at last season’s reunion, so much so that some fans started shipping the two of them together. Those rumors haven’t gone unnoticed, with Bronwyn leaning into them by making a scissoring motion with her hands — but all in jest! At least until Justin is out of the picture. As we know, Todd has been long gone, though we find out the last straw was when Bronwyn turned 40 and he didn’t even get her a card or cake. To be fair, he’s about 100 years old, so maybe 40 doesn’t seem like such a big occasion to him. But the least he could have done was get her a cherry!

And now, she has a new man in her life altogether — the 32-year-old model Brandon Good. “He’s darling,” she says, like an Old Hollywood broad talking about a pool boy. Now listen, we’ve seen Housewives hire fake boyfriends for the show before, or at least be accused of doing so — so naturally the thought crosses one’s mind given the vast visual juxtaposition between her last man and this new man. Plus there’s the fact that she suspiciously used his first and last names (as if a contract required it) and that the majority of their dates seem to be public outings where there’s paparazzi. But maybe that’s just a coincidence! 

Speaking of new men, Heather also has a boyfriend, though hers seems real. After seven years, we’re finally getting to see her in a relationship on the show — and just in time, given that she continually gets shit for not sharing that side of her life. But I’ll be honest, I don’t think she was hiding anything at all from the audience; I just genuinely think she didn’t have all that much going on. When her story line was getting a new mattress, I think that was because that was actually the exciting part of her year. But no longer! She’s hitting the ground running and putting it all out there, introducing us to Tripp, her motorcycle-riding, tattooed handyman turned boyfriend, who, just like her, is a Bad Mormon. It sounds like a match made in Mormon hell (complimentary; I bet Mormon hell is fun as fuck). 

One wrinkle in this love story is that they briefly dated when they first met in 2016, but that ended after she caught him texting other women. Listen, it’s not great, but I think it’s promising that she’s putting that all out there as they embark on this fresh start — and she certainly can’t give Britani and Jared any shit now. She says that anyone she dated after that wouldn’t stack up to him and then quotes Taylor Swift as if I wouldn’t clock it — calling him a “best friend who I think is hot” and “a wild boy that would bring me wild joy.” In any case, it’ll be an exciting new chapter to see Heather navigate instead of just watching her assemble more furniture. 

Something else particularly interesting that we see play out in this premiere is two instances of people’s behavior directly changing as a result of watching themselves on the show (or maybe as a result of the public’s response). Bronwyn’s mother, Muzzy, who was lambasted all of last season for being cold and arguably cruel to her daughter, is notably softer in her first scene back — though the bob is as cunty as ever. Bronwyn jokes that last year Muzzy lost her husband and house, and now this year it’s her turn, but when she starts to get emotional, Muzzy goes and sits next to her to console her daughter. The Muzzy of last season would never do such a thing, and even Bronwyn seems surprised. Muzzy, who, let me remind you, is the name of a woman and not a Muppet, got to see her tough mothering broadcast back to her, and it seems like that led her to make a change. 

Similarly, Lisa’s husband, John, is striking a very different chord this year. After Lisa attempted to make grilled cheese despite not knowing how to turn the stove on, she and John sit down for a chat, and he basically walks back all of the criticism he had for his wife during their rocky season last year. Getting to watch that conversation back gave him the opportunity to reflect on it and change, which was probably encouraged by the fact that when Lisa watched it back, she told him that they were over — but from that rock bottom they were able to rebuild. I find it so compelling to see them talk about the impact of watching their relationship play out on TV, because it’s something that’s always a factor in these marriages for better or worse, but we often have to read between the lines or wait until the reunion to dig deep into the effects of that strange experience. 

Lisa tells Meredith all about this over drinks, or at least it’s somebody who looks like Meredith. She’s introducing her new face to the world, but I’m more interested in what’s going on with her hair. Is it a wig? Or does it just look like a wig because her face-lift stretched her hairline to a new place? Let’s assume that’s how face-lifts work. You’d think after years of watching these shows I’d be more aware of the logistics. In any case, she looks great and brags about getting carded at Lisa’s lounge, though Lisa quickly clarifies to us that they card everyone. 

I also have to quickly acknowledge that Lisa orders a grilled cheese, making this her second grilled cheese in this episode alone. She’s obsessed. At this rate, she’ll eat 36 grilled cheeses by the time the season’s done, but time will tell if she keeps this pace up. Over said sandwich, they also chat about Whitney’s promised apology, which she says she owes them for drunkenly popping off about how much she hates them during a drag brunch. I’ve said far worse about people at a drag brunch, but Whitney’s rookie mistake was letting it get caught on-camera. While her instinct to apologize is nice, it doesn’t seem to mean much to Lisa and Meredith, who call her a dingbat who nobody takes seriously. They add that she can’t keep apologizing over and over if she’s not going to also change her behavior. Nonetheless, it’s a promising start, and I’m glad Whitney is taking that route instead of doubling down. 

After three weeks away, Mary decided to return to filming and hosts all of the women at her home, where they recount how beautiful Robert’s celebration of life was. She explains that it was her decision to come back to the show and that through her grief she’s finding some peace knowing that his spirit will live within her forever. Mary also thanks them all for how they’ve shown up for her, noting that members of her own family didn’t even bother to call. There’s something good in all of them, she adds, and says that they’re her family, “even though I didn’t ask for you.” Moments like this are really what Housewives is supposed to be about — a genuine sisterhood with deep ties that take precedence over superfluous conflicts. Historically, that’s something that Salt Lake in particular has been good at showcasing given the intense situations that have bonded a group that, save for the felon, have almost all been on this ride since the beginning. While they perhaps were at their most fractured heading into this season (as we’ve been seeing on Ultimate Girls Trip), this final scene with Mary shows that sisterhood is still there.