Overcoming Delays in Seeking Eating Disorder Help

Starting specialized eating disorder treatment may require additional effort.

Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

Key points

• Seek outside help by finding a specialist trained in eating disorders to evaluate your child.
• Educate yourself about eating disorders to provide the best possible support at home and during treatment.
• Ensure that all treatment professionals—medical, mental health, and dietary—are aligned in their approach.
• If you feel your healthcare provider is not taking your concerns seriously, a second opinion could help.

When a child shows signs of an eating disorder, parents often feel a strong urge to help at home and seek outside support. Recent research showed that parents are frequently the first to notice symptoms like cutting out foods, restricting portions, increased exercise, calorie counting, binge eating, and weight loss. This shift from years ago, when friends often identified the signs first, highlights the growing awareness and proactive role of parents in early detection. Thanks to public health messages, scientific advancements, and better-trained healthcare providers, parents are increasingly equipped to recognize and address eating disorder symptoms.

When young people are discovered to have an eating disorder by their parents, their common initial reactions include relief and/or anger. Parents, on the other hand, often react with concern and increased encouragement for their child to maintain a healthy diet. Eventually, parents may seek professional help. A recent Australian study revealed, however, that they typically wait over six months to consult an eating disorder specialist, often after seeking initial guidance from a primary care provider.

Parents delay making an appointment to seek professional help with eating problems for understandable reasons. They may suspect symptoms but be reluctant to seek further help based on suspicion until they are more confident. Families also face societal stigma about eating disorder illnesses, which can make them hesitant. In addition, they often want to restore healthy eating at home before launching into outside help. After all, most parents have a long history of successfully feeding their children.

Recent research sheds light on the experience of parents seeking treatment for their children with eating disorders. The Australian study found that parents often encounter difficulties finding the specialized care their children need despite Australia's long history of public health attention to treating eating disorders. The average age of first noticeable symptoms was 13 years old, underscoring the importance of early intervention.

Primary care physicians are often the first point of contact when parents seek help for a child's eating disorder. However, a recent Finnish study found that only a third of those with eating disorders were diagnosed in general healthcare settings. Additionally, only half of parents who sought help from general practitioners in the Australian study found their initial visit helpful.

As a parent, it can be overwhelming to navigate the complexities of eating disorders. If you're seeking outside help, remember that you're not alone. Start by finding a specialist trained in eating disorders to evaluate your child. Educate yourself about these conditions to provide the best possible support at home and during treatment. Some helpful online resources for psychoeducation about the identification, nature and treatment of eating disorders include The Academy for Eating Disorders and the National Eating Disorders Association, among many others.

If you, as a parent, feel the need to convince your child’s healthcare provider that the issue is more serious than they acknowledge, it may be time to seek a second opinion. Once you’ve assembled a specialized treatment team, ensure that all professionals—medical, mental health, and dietary—are aligned in their approach. Finally, consider engaging both yourself and your child in a vetted, age-appropriate eating disorder prevention program. These resources, often available online, can enhance self-awareness and foster motivation for recovery.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.