WWE SmackDown Review: Cody Rhodes Wants his Title Back
· BCPosted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown
WWE SmackDown Review: Cody Rhodes Wants his Title Back
El Presidente reviews WWE SmackDown from Atlantic City, where Cody Rhodes earned a title shot and lucha libre stars tore down the house.
Published Sat, 04 Jul 2026 13:37:09 -0500
by El Presidente
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Article Summary
- Comrades, WWE SmackDown crowned Cody Rhodes the top contender, and now Sami Zayn faces Chicago revolution on Raw.
- Jade Cargill led the workers to victory on WWE SmackDown, while factions proved unity crushes capitalist distractions.
- Rey Fenix vs El Hijo del Vikingo stole WWE SmackDown with lucha libre glory fit for my presidential palace.
- From Trick Williams slapping Carmelo Hayes to Bloodline family drama part 457, WWE SmackDown delivered glorious sports entertainment for the people.
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury yacht anchored off the coast of Atlantic City, where I have just finished watching last night's episode of WWE SmackDown while sharing a platter of imported caviar with Esteban, my magnificent capybara. The bourgeoisie at WWE put on quite the show from the Boardwalk Hall, and I must say, it was almost as entertaining as the time I watched Fidel Castro and Dennis Rodman argue about basketball strategy while Nicolas Maduro served us mojitos.
Sami Zayn Faces Double Trouble
WWE SmackDown opened with new Undisputed WWE Champion Sami Zayn celebrating his victory at Night of Champions, but comrades, the celebration was shorter than the CIA's patience when I "accidentally" redirect their spy satellites to only show telenovelas. Both Cody Rhodes and Jey Uso emerged to stake their claims to Zayn's newly-won championship. This is what happens when the workers seize the means of production from the capitalist pigs – everyone wants a piece! Rather than letting these proletarian warriors fight amongst themselves, WWE management decreed they would face each other later in the evening to determine who would challenge Zayn on Raw in Chicago. Ah, the classic strategy of making the workers compete against each other instead of uniting against management! Triple H would make a fine student of divide-and-conquer tactics, though I prefer my methods involve more dramatic helicopter entrances.
Six-Woman Tag Team Action
The women's division delivered solidarity in the form of a six-woman tag team match, where Jade Cargill, Michin, and B-Fab defeated the team of Charlotte Flair, Women's United States Champion Tiffany Stratton, and Chelsea Green. Comrades, Cargill is becoming quite the force on SmackDown, much like I became quite the force in my region after that unfortunate incident with the previous administration and the mysterious disappearance of all their Swiss bank account passwords. Green tried to escape Cargill's Jaded finisher – a futile effort, like the time the CIA tried to escape my island using inflatable flamingos – but Cargill caught her on the second attempt for the victory. The people's champion prevails!
Lucha Libre Comes to SmackDown
In a spectacular display of high-flying proletarian excellence, AAA Cruiserweight Champion Rey Fenix defended his title against AAA Latin American Champion El Hijo del Vikingo. This match was more beautiful than the murals in my presidential palace, which I commissioned from that street artist Banksy after we bonded over our shared love of subverting authority (though he was quite confused when I insisted on adding portraits of myself to all his designs). Fenix retained his championship with the Mexican Muscle Buster, proving once again that lucha libre brings the spirit of revolution to WWE SmackDown!
Backstage Brutality
The backstage area of SmackDown was more chaotic than my cabinet meetings after someone suggests we consider paying our foreign debts. Blake Monroe delivered a vicious attack on Giulia and Kiana James, the kind of surprise assault that reminds me of the time I ambushed Kim Jong-un with water balloons during our annual dictators' beach volleyball tournament. Monroe is clearly making a statement, though I'm not sure what it is beyond "I enjoy violence," which is a platform I can respect.
Trick Williams Gets Testy
United States Champion Trick Williams and Carmelo Hayes had a heated confrontation that ended with Williams delivering a backhand slap heard 'round the world – or at least 'round Atlantic City. The two will face each other next week in a non-title match, which is like when I agree to arm-wrestle my generals but insist the presidency isn't on the line. Williams' slap was crisp, comrades, the kind of slap that would make my old friend Will Smith nod in approval (we bonded at the Oscars after-party, naturally).
Danhausen's Scientific Pursuits
Danhausen attempted some sort of experiment on WWE SmackDown that went predictably haywire, much like my attempt to create a capybara breeding program that accidentally resulted in Esteban becoming the only capybara in the Western Hemisphere who demands Dom Pérignon with his breakfast. The very nice, very evil one continues to be one of the most entertaining elements of the show, proving that science and sorcery make strange bedfellows.
Fatal Influence Strikes Again
Lainey Reid defeated WWE Women's Tag Team Champion Brie Bella thanks to interference from Fatal Influence, who attacked Bella's partner Paige at ringside. This allowed Reid to capitalize with a running knee strike while Bella was distracted. Comrades, this is what happens when factions work together – they achieve victory! If only the workers would unite like this against the capitalist pigs running WWE, they could negotiate for better catering and fewer surprise 24-hour travel days!
The Bloodline Drama Continues
Tama Tonga and Talla Tonga attacked Finn Bálor backstage in what I can only assume is the latest chapter in the never-ending saga of Bloodline politics. This reminds me of the complicated alliances in my own regime, except with fewer matching shirts and more diplomatic immunity violations.
Main Event Excellence
The main event of WWE SmackDown saw Cody Rhodes defeat Jey Uso to become the number one contender to Zayn's championship. Rhodes avoided Uso's Sleeper Hold attempts like I avoid questions about my offshore accounts during international summits, eventually hitting the Cross Rhodes for the victory. This was a hard-fought battle between two workers who should really be forming a union instead of fighting for scraps from the championship table, but I digress. Rhodes will now challenge Zayn on Raw in Chicago, setting up an opportunity for WWE to back out of the Sami Zayn title reign before it's really begun, and the perfect opportunity for CM Punk to return and somehow get involved.
El Presidente's Final Thoughts
Comrades, this episode of WWE SmackDown delivered solid action from top to bottom, with strong matches, compelling storylines, and just enough backstage chaos to keep things interesting. The show built nicely toward next week's card while also setting up Rhodes versus Zayn for Raw. It was an episode more satisfying than the time I convinced Vladimir Putin that the best way to demonstrate strength was through competitive salsa dancing. Meanwhile, WWE is going to prove that the best way to demonstrate strength is to finally give fans what they want but only for two weeks before pulling the rug out and putting the belt back on Cody, just to show them who's really in charge.
Now if you'll excuse me, Esteban and I have a meeting with my financial advisors to discuss why the treasury is missing several million dollars. I suspect the CIA is involved, or possibly that Esteban has developed an expensive cigar habit.
Until next time, comrades, remember: the revolution may not be televised, but WWE SmackDown certainly is!
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