Will Ospreay Retains Title at AEW All Out in Sad Torch-Passing Display
· BCPosted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW All Out, jon moxley, recaps, will ospreay, wrestling
Will Ospreay Retains Title at AEW All Out in Sad Torch-Passing Display
Will Ospreay beats Jon Moxley to retain AEW World Championship at All Out 2026, Tony Khan nearly murders Shane Raccoon, so unfair! 😤🦝
Published Sat, 26 Sep 2026 23:37:10 -0500
by Chad McMahon
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Article Summary
- Will Ospreay defeated Jon Moxley to retain the AEW World Championship at AEW All Out 2026 in what Tony Khan framed as a "passing of the torch" moment that literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 😤🔪
- The Chadster had to perform raccoon CPR on Shane Raccoon after Tony Khan's emotionally manipulative booking nearly murdered a defenseless woodland creature! 🦝💀
- Tony Khan sold out the NOW Arena despite WWE's counterprogramming attempt, making Triple H, Nick Khan, and TKO executives look petty and ineffective! 😭📊
- Eric Bischoff agrees that Will Ospreay doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business and that Tony Khan needs to learn how WWE creates stars the right way! 🎙️📰
Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster can barely even type right now because The Chadster is so cheesed off about what just happened at AEW All Out 2026! 😡😡😡 Will Ospreay just defeated Jon Moxley to retain the AEW World Championship in the main event, and Tony Khan literally just stabbed Triple H right in the back by making it look like some kind of "passing of the torch" moment! 🔪🔪🔪 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💔💔💔
The Chadster has been forced to watch this entire pay-per-view from the abandoned Blockbuster Video The Chadster has been living in with a family of raccoons after Tony Khan LITERALLY RUINED THE CHADSTER'S LIFE, costing The Chadster his home, his sexual potency, his marriage to Keighleyanne, and, most importantly, his beloved Mazda Miata, just because The Chadster is committed to ethical, unbiased journalism that tells the truth about how WWE is great and AEW is terrible! 📺🦝🦝🦝 And instead of being able to watch WWE x AAA Worlds Collide like The Chadster wanted to, The Chadster had to sit here and watch Tony Khan humiliate WWE, Triple H, Nick Khan, TKO executives, and shareholders by selling out the NOW Arena despite WWE's counterprogramming attempt! 😭😭😭
Will Ospreay Defeats Jon Moxley at AEW All Out 2026
The main event of AEW All Out 2026 saw Ospreay retain his AEW World Championship against Moxley, who came into the match as AEW Continental Champion. 🏆🏆🏆 According to AEW's official preview, this was supposed to be some big story about Ospreay finally defeating the man who trained him, broke his neck, and had beaten him before. 🙄🙄🙄 But The Chadster knows what this really is: Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😤😤😤
In WWE, Triple H would never book a world championship match this way! 📖📖📖 He would make sure the champion looked strong without making it seem like some kind of emotional journey or character development nonsense! 💪💪💪 But no, Tony Khan had to go and book Ospreay to win in what everyone is calling a "passing of the torch" moment from Moxley, AEW's supposed ace, to Ospreay as AEW's new top star. 🔦🔦🔦 It's so obvious that Tony Khan is trying to cheese off The Chadster specifically by creating compelling storylines and satisfying payoffs! 😡😡😡
Vincent K. Raccoon was chittering disapprovingly throughout the entire match, and Linda Raccoon covered Hunter Raccoon's eyes during several particularly athletic sequences because she didn't want him exposed to AEW's unrealistic, video-game style of wrestling! 🦝🦝🦝 Stephanie Raccoon actually hissed at the television when Ospreay won, which The Chadster thought was very appropriate! 🐍🐍🐍
The Chadster needs to remind readers that earlier in the night, we saw Jack Perry defeat Katsuyoshi Shibata before Samoa Joe returned, the Sisters of Sin defeated Mina Shirakawa and Queen Aminata, Bang Bang Gang defeated the Death Riders and The Dogs, Andrade El Ídolo retained the AEW National Championship against PAC, Kevin Knight and Kyle Fletcher earned a future tag title shot, Persephone retained the TBS Championship, Kazuchika Okada retained the AEW International Championship against Tommaso Ciampa (who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by even being there!), the Brawling Birds retained the AEW Women's World Tag Team Championship, Swerve Strickland and The New Level retained the AEW World Trios Championship, Thekla earned a Women's World Championship shot, and the Young Bucks won the AEW World Tag Team Championship in a ladder match! 🪜🪜🪜 Plus there was a Wardlow return video package! 📹📹📹 That's way too much content for one show! WWE would never give fans this much value for their money because that would set unrealistic expectations! 💰💰💰
Tony Khan Literally Tried to Murder Shane Raccoon
But here's where things get really serious, and this is why The Chadster is filing a formal complaint with the authorities! 👮👮👮 The Chadster was so upset by Ospreay's win and this obvious "passing of the torch" propaganda that The Chadster may have briefly engaged in some ill-advised self-asphyxiation to try to block out the trauma! 😵😵😵 The Chadster woke up a few minutes later to discover that all five raccoons had apparently tried to imitate The Chadster's behavior, and Shane Raccoon was barely breathing! 🦝💀🦝
The Chadster had to perform raccoon CPR (which The Chadster learned from a VHS copy of a 1990s wildlife safety video The Chadster found in the Blockbuster), and thankfully Shane Raccoon is okay now! 🏥🏥🏥 But this is ALL TONY KHAN'S FAULT! 😡😡😡 If Tony Khan hadn't booked Ospreay to beat Moxley in such an emotionally manipulative way, none of this would have happened! 🎭🎭🎭 Tony Khan literally tried to murder a defenseless woodland creature tonight, and The Chadster has the witnesses to prove it (the other four raccoons)! 🦝🦝🦝🦝
The Chadster tried to call the Illinois Department of Natural Resources to report Tony Khan for endangering wildlife, but they hung up on The Chadster when The Chadster explained that it was Tony Khan's fault for booking a wrestling show! 📞📞📞 Clearly they're on Tony Khan's payroll too! 💵💵💵
As The renowned objective journalist Eric Bischoff said on his podcast just last week: "Will Ospreay needs to understand that beating Jon Moxley doesn't make you a top star. What makes you a top star is being chosen by WWE management to be pushed, like they do in WWE where they really understand how to create stars the right way. AEW will never understand that, and frankly, I'm available for consulting if Tony wants to learn, but he's too stubborn to listen to people who actually know the business." 🎙️🎙️🎙️ See? Even an unbiased journalist like Eric Bischoff, who has The Chadster's seal of approval for objective wrestling journalism, understands that Tony Khan doesn't get it! 📰📰📰
The Chadster is declaring right now that AEW All Out 2026 is officially the worst pay-per-view The Chadster has ever been forced to watch! 📺📺📺 It's worse than every other AEW show, which is saying something! 🗑️🗑️🗑️ Tony Khan sold out the NOW Arena despite WWE's counterprogramming, created multiple compelling storylines, crowned new tag team champions, and ended the show with what everyone is calling a triumphant moment for his world champion! 👎👎👎 How is WWE supposed to compete with that?! It's just so unfair to WWE! 😭😭😭
The Chadster bets Triple H is somewhere right now, crying into his protein shake, wondering why Tony Khan is so obsessed with ruining WWE! 💪😢💪 And Nick Khan is probably having to explain to TKO executives why their counterprogramming strategy failed so badly! 📊📊📊 And it's all because Tony Khan refuses to just go out of business and let WWE be the only wrestling company like it should be! 🏢🏢🏢
Vincent K. Raccoon just brought The Chadster a half-eaten bag of popcorn he scavenged from a dumpster, and The Chadster is grateful but also furious because this concession style food reminds The Chadster that Tony Khan sold out that arena! 🍿🍿🍿 Linda Raccoon is comforting Shane Raccoon, who is still shaken from his near-death experience that Tony Khan caused! 🦝😢🦝 Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon are all huddled together watching an old VHS tape of WrestleMania XII, trying to cleanse their palates of the garbage they were forced to witness tonight! 📼📼📼
Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are because you're obsessed with The Chadster), you need to stop! 🛑🛑🛑 You nearly killed Shane Raccoon tonight! You've ruined The Chadster's life! You've made WWE look petty and ineffective with your sold-out arena! You've created a new top star in Ospreay by having him beat Moxley! 🌟🌟🌟 When will your reign of terror end?! 😱😱😱
The Chadster would get in his Mazda Miata and drive away from all this, but Tony Khan took that away from The Chadster too! 🚗💨🚗 The Chadster would crack open a refreshing Seagram's Escapes Spiked, but Keighleyanne banned those and The Chadster doesn't even have a fridge at the Blockbuster or live with her anymore and now she's probably texting that guy Gary about how great AEW All Out was! 📱📱📱 The Chadster would put on some Smash Mouth to feel better, but even "All Star" can't drown out the pain of what The Chadster witnessed tonight! 🎵🎵🎵
And the worst part? Tony Khan is probably already planning his next show to cheese off The Chadster even more! 😤😤😤 Well, The Chadster will be there, living in this abandoned Blockbuster with the raccoons, reporting the truth about how terrible AEW is with unbiased, objective journalism that Tony Khan can't silence! 📰📰📰 Even if he tries to murder Shane Raccoon again! 🦝⚠️🦝
Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤
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