VICTOR JOECKS: Bring back plastic straws

Inconveniencing Americans hasn’t reversed ocean pollution.

I recently ordered my wife an iced coffee and water at a Starbucks in California. As soon as I grabbed the straw for her drink, I knew something was off. Sure enough, it was a paper straw. Ugh.

I don’t drink coffee, but I will steal a sip from my wife’s water. The paper straw tasted terrible. My wife likes to sip on her coffee throughout the day. I soon noticed that the paper straw looked like it was coming apart.

Plastic straws solved these problems decades ago. But the left has spent years pushing governments and businesses to abandon them. Other plastic items, such as utensils and bags, have also faced their ire.

“By 2050 there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish,” For a Strawless Ocean says on its website. “There’s something YOU can do about it!”

It’s an appealing pitch. Plastic pollution in the ocean is a major problem. There are heartbreaking pictures and videos of cute animals entangled in plastic. Giving up your straw seems like a small sacrifice to prevent such tragedies.

Plastic straw opponents in California, New York and other states have succeeded in placing various restrictions on plastic straws. Even in Nevada, Starbucks and Costco have lower-quality straws than they once did.

But plastic straw opponents haven’t succeeded in reducing ocean pollution.

“The amount of plastic in the ocean is still rising,” the United Nations wrote in June. It continued, “Plastic waste emissions are estimated at 52.1 million metric tons per year.”

That’s not great. But Slurpee straws from American suburbanites didn’t cause the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. The Ocean Cleanup estimates the floating mass of debris covers more than 1.5 million square kilometers — twice the size of Texas.

“Our study conducted in 2022 reveals 75% to 86% of plastic debris in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch (GPGP) originates from fishing activities at sea,” The Ocean Cleanup said.

Last time I checked, fish nets weren’t made of straws.

According to Stop Ocean Plastic, the top countries for plastic pollution are the Philippines, India, Malaysia, China and Indonesia, countries that use a good amount of plastic and struggle to collect their trash. Many people in these countries throw their trash on the ground, not in a garbage can. What’s unthinkable here is normal there. Those nations have major rivers or coastlines, so plastic ends up in the ocean.

“The single strongest predictor of ocean-bound plastic is whether a country’s waste collection system reaches its population,” Stop Ocean Plastic says.

These countries don’t need their coffee shops to stop using plastic straws. They need better systems to collect garbage. That’s a much more difficult problem and won’t be solved by getting blue cities and states to ban straws. It would also require acknowledging that the United States does a better job protecting the environment than most other countries. Addressing this issue would make a significant difference in solving the problem plastic straw opponents claim to care about. Alas.

At least I get to tease my wife that she drinks out of a sippy cup.