Father’s Day: Nigerian fathers speak

Catherine Egwuom, Lilian Okoro and Kemi Akintokun

As families across Nigeria celebrate Father’s Day, many fathers in Nigeria are reflecting on the sacrifices they make daily to provide for their loved ones amidst prevailing economic challenges.

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) is reporting that it is celebrated on the third Sunday of June, matching the global observance.

The day honours fathers, stepfathers, and father figures for their sacrifices, leadership, and provision within the home and the broader Nigerian society.

The fathers are usually appreciated through special thanksgiving services, giving thoughtful gifts, having treats, and special meals/celebrations among other ways.

Nevertheless, many Nigerian men are decrying systemic gender bias and calling for greater appreciation, support, and understanding from their families and the government.

This shifting dynamic vividly recalls the iconic comedy film: “Omugwo,” where veteran actor, Nkem Owoh (Osuofia), humorously but deeply challenged conventional African definitions of paternal involvement.

In the movie released in 2002, Owoh plays a grandfather who humorously breaks traditional cultural boundaries to help care for his newborn grandchild.

His character steps into domestic roles usually reserved for women, handling chores and baby care while challenging long-held African stereotypes about rigid paternal responsibilities.

His character breaks cultural boundaries by entering spaces traditionally reserved for women, symbolising a broader conversation about what modern Nigerian fatherhood truly requires from men today.

Owoh’s witty performance highlights the evolving expectations of modern Nigerian men, proving that fatherly love requires active, hands-on emotional and physical presence, even as fathers yearn for same care, attention, love and general support.

Speaking with various fathers nationwide on Sunday reveals that balancing emotional presence with the heavy burden of financial provision remains the ultimate test of contemporary parenting.

From bustling Lagos, to Aba and Onitsha markets to corporate Abuja, Port Harcourt, and Lagos offices, these men are rewriting the old patriarchal script, proving that active fatherhood transcends mere monetary support.

Additionally, many fathers express deep frustration over the relentless economic pressures, noting that hyperinflation and soaring commodity prices have made maintaining the provider role an exhausting daily battle.

They believe society harshly judges their worth solely by their financial capacity, leaving little room for vulnerability when businesses fail or jobs are suddenly lost.

Furthermore, several men pointed out that while conversations around women’s empowerment have advanced, support systems for men’s mental health and emotional well-being remain virtually nonexistent.

Consequently, they feel increasingly isolated and unappreciated, perceiving that their silent sacrifices for family survival are largely taken for granted by both the public and immediate relatives.

Shayo Bamisetemi, a father of three, urged the government to create a more habitable environment for citizens rather than politicising the current insecurity situation.

Bamisetemi said: “As a dedicated father striving to provide a fulfilling life for my family, I urge the Nigerian government to create a more habitable environment for our loved ones.

“The current security issues are overwhelming, and our children deserve a safe atmosphere as they pursue their education.”

On his expectations from his family, Bamisetemi said fathers’ desire for appreciation and respect is fundamental, adding: “Gratitude is a catalyst for doing even more.

“My wife’s prayers in response to my efforts in supporting the household inspire me profoundly.”

Also speaking, Adeyemi Adeleye, a Lagos State-based media practitioner, says his uppermost wish from his family remains unfeigned love and care.

Adeleye said: “As a father in Nigerian society, like everyone, I will desire unwavering love and care not obtainable from anywhere in the world.

“I will expect members of my family to show love and care no matter what, while I labour and struggle to meet their needs.

“Family is built on love and it is for fellowship, partnership, and sharing. 

“Members of my family owe me these while I reciprocate.”

Adeleye also wishes that family members will not constitute an emotional burden to him if he faces difficulties meeting their needs.

Bright Chigozie, a Factory Supervisor in Apapa, Lagos, who spends long hours away from home, echoes the security concerns, noting that fathers often endure physical and emotional stress without getting enough commendation.

Chigozie said: “Beyond government intervention, appreciation and support from family members are equally important.

“Words of encouragement, respect, and recognition from spouses and children go a long way in boosting a father’s morale.

“My work keeps me away from home most nights and this also affects my health.”

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Kelechukwu Peter, a banker, acknowledges that with encouragement, men can actually step into supposedly “female roles” to support the family for the growth of the family.

In the same vein, Julius Adeyemi, an Accountant, argued that the society has remained biased, failing to give fathers the same accolades as their female counterparts in spite of their contributions.

Corroborating this view, Moses Akintokun, a Chartered Accountant, urged the government to commit more toward economic prosperity to cushion the predominant financial stress among Nigerian fathers.

Akintokun said: “Men are really going through different kinds of stress, mental, financial and others, but only very few talk about it.

“We are in a world where fathers get little or no appreciation for their fatherly roles due to the fact that they are not as visible and available compared to women in the upbringing of the children.”

Akintokun added that his only desire is to see his children make him proud and impact the society positively.

Fednard Okoji, a Civil Servant, also decries the lack of appreciation from wives and children, which he notes adds to the stress men face in meeting daily obligations.

Okoji said: “Fathers toil day and night to ensure they put food on the table, take care of the family, provide, and make sure that everybody is happy.

“However, most women take it for granted.

“Sometimes, these men’s efforts are often not appreciated by their wives and children.

“So, you see some women and children wasting food, forgetting that some homes don’t even eat three square meals a day or have not eaten for days.

“Men, fathers go through a lot of stress and sometimes when these fathers come back to their homes, they expect that they will find a peaceful home, that they will meet a woman who is appreciative in all ramifications.

“But, oftentimes, it doesn’t work that way.

“When these men come back home, instead of their wives to calm the stress level the men have gone through, they put more fire.

“It is unfortunate.”

Contributing to the discussion, Papa Ejima, a 60-year-old father, laments that prevailing economic hardship, unemployment, and inflation have made young graduates eager to migrate (Japa) rather than practice their careers domestically.

Ejima said: “I have a daughter that graduated from the University of Ilorin two years ago and she has not been employed.

“Each day, my daughters put blame on me because of the hardship in the land, demanding that she wants to migrate to another country to get a job.

“Regarding the country’s economic situation, none of the young graduates now want to stay in the country to build up their families after their education.

“So, the challenge now is: who will take care of me at old age if all of them decide to travel out of the country in search of greener pastures?”

To address these deep-seated challenges, a men’s Mental Health Advocate and Founder of the Life Abuse Foundation (LAAF), Halima Layeni, underscored the need for the establishment of a Ministry of Men Affairs in Nigeria.

Layeni presented an overview of key issues confronting men, including unreported violence, severe mental health crises driven by societal pressures, and economic underemployment.

She said: “The establishment of the Ministry of Men Affairs is of immense importance.

“The ministry will provide focused attention on men’s unique issues, improve health outcomes through targeted campaigns, and create economic opportunities that enhance stability and reduce poverty among men.”

Other respondents, including Adewale Johnson, a Civil Servant, and Kola Adeniyi, a Teacher, emphasised that rising living costs have amplified the pressure on fathers to secure quality education and sustainable futures for their children.

Lawrence Nze, an Economic Expert, called for family-centred national policies, fair wages, healthcare access, and stronger community structures to support fathers.

Nze said: “There should be a national recognition of fatherhood as a cornerstone of development, with programmes that empower fathers to balance work and family life.

“Let there be respect for fathers regardless of economic status, acknowledging their dignity and contribution.”

Similarly, Chukwuemeka Okafor, a Businessman, and Emeka Nwosu, an Entrepreneur, urged families to offer emotional backing and open communication, which they note would cushion the pressure fathers undergo in a tough environment.

Samuel Olatunde, a retired Banker, and Pastor Daniel Eze both advised families that fatherhood transcends financial provision, urging children to maintain strong moral values.

Eze said: “Fatherhood should not be viewed only from the perspective of financial provision.

“Fathers also need love, care, and emotional support from family members.

“There should be greater recognition of the role fathers play in nurturing and guiding their children.”

All in all, the respondents unanimously call for a revival of family values, improved economic opportunities, and a more balanced societal view to help fathers fulfill their roles effectively. 

. Egwuom, Okoro, and Akintokun work for the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN).

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