I Just Had To Turn Off My Camera In The Company-Wide All-Hands Because I'm Cackling So Hard At These 24 Painfully Accurate Jokes About Corporate America

Posted 52 minutes ago

Kids are constantly asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

But what they don't tell you is that your answer barely matters, because there's a 99% chance you'll end up in a career where everyone is a stakeholder, everything is a deliverable, and your days are spent touching base and circling back until you die.

That's why Threads user @danidonovan hilariously imagined a world where we were all born fluent in the corporate jargon that we all somehow end up learning. "ever since i was a little girl, i've dreamed of creating deliverables for key stakeholders," she joked.

Let's just say people really ran with the bit and piled on with their own versions in the replies...

You deserve a break from your cubicle, so here are the 24 most hilarious fake dream jobs people shared:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24. And finally:

To all the corporate weapons reading this, I hope you got a much-needed chuckle.

Welp, here's to another day of crawling toward that retirement date...

...and praying not to be impacted by the next "restructuring." 🫠

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a few stakeholders to align, but let me know what job you dreamt of as a kid in the comments.

Comments