‘I had to pay her back for food’: Son says mum constantly demanded money after he became an adult - Singapore News

17 May 2026, 09:04 · The Independent

SINGAPORE: A frustrated man took to Reddit to share that his mum constantly demanded money from him the moment he became an adult and started working full-time.

In a post titled “Life is too tiring” on the r/asksg subreddit, he said his mum kept “hounding” him to give her money and even asked him to “pay her back for all the food” she bought for him when he was growing up.

She also cut him off financially the moment he graduated from polytechnic at 21. From shampoo and clothes to family holidays and daily expenses, he claimed nothing was paid for anymore. Every little thing came out of his own pocket, which left him feeling more drained than independent.

“I even have to use my own money to buy the things that I never got to buy when I was young and go to the places that I never got to go to when I was young,” he added.

As if that was not stressful enough, he also alleged that his mum told him to “buy his own house at 35” while still expecting him to keep handing over money in the meantime.

His situation became even tougher after he lost his job about a year ago. Since then, he said he has been struggling financially and can no longer keep up with the constant financial expectations, let alone save enough to think about buying a home.

Although he is currently pursuing a part-time degree in hopes of improving his prospects, he said he still feels stuck and hopeless, as his job applications have so far not led to any real opportunities.

“Your mum is not asking for much”

In the comments section, many users surprisingly sided with the mother, arguing that it is fairly common in Asian households for parents to stop financially supporting their children once they become adults.

One commenter wrote, “Ehhh, sorry to hear about your work, but not getting an allowance after you graduate, using your own money to buy things, go places when you are old is normal?”

Another added a bit sarcastically, “Wow. So many permanent children whining about not getting an allowance after 21 and being expected to—*gasp*—pay for their own toiletries.”

A third wrote, “Entitled kid…. your mum is not asking for much, you know that right?”

Meanwhile, another pointed out that parents also have to think about their own future and retirement.

“Your mom is getting on in age, I assume. She also needs to plan for her retirement. You cannot possibly be sponging off her until she is old, right?”

Still, not everyone dismissed the man’s frustrations. A handful of users said they could relate to the pressure of balancing Asian family expectations while struggling financially themselves.

One shared, “Same boat, Asian parent expectations with zero support. House at 35 when you’re still fighting just to land a damn job is wild. Failing endless interviews too; finding work now is just insanely hard.”

Another said, “Cut your [mother] off as soon as you find your financial footing—moving out would do wonders for your well-being if you can afford it. All the best.”

In other news, a 33-year-old man has sparked discussion online after sharing that he spends 10 to 12 hours with his 32-year-old girlfriend during each meetup twice a week, while also footing almost every bill.

In a Reddit post, the man said he started wondering whether their relationship dynamics were actually normal after feeling increasingly drained “emotionally, physically, and financially.”

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