The Big Read: As high costs bite and parents age, some singles and married couples are choosing not to fly the coop

SINGAPORE: Software engineer Jeffrey, 26, thought he had adulthood all figured out when he moved into a sleek one-bedroom condominium unit near Somerset in July last year. 

He had the freedom to cook for himself and host friends, and he no longer had to commute to Orchard for work from Simei, where he had been living with his parents.

He paid S$3,200 in monthly rent, which was within his budget, but Mr Jeffrey did not factor in additional maintenance costs, such as air-conditioner cleaning, which all added up.

"The air-conditioning cleaning cost about S$260 for four cleanings over one year. Then, there were unexpected expenses like aircon gas top-ups and compressor cleaning, which added over S$400 in extra costs," he said, adding that his monthly utility bill of over S$100 was also higher than expected. 

When he was laid off in May this year, Mr Jeffrey, who declined to give his full name, had to return to the family nest.

“In the end, I thought it would be better to save more money for my future house by moving back,” he said.

Mr Jeffrey is part of a growing number of young Singaporeans who have returned to live with their parents in the past couple of years, as soaring rents and economic uncertainty force them to rethink the cost of independence.

The trend of singles moving out to rent - which goes against the conventional Singaporean path of graduating from university, getting a job, tying the knot and buying a Builld-to-Order (BTO) flat - picked up during the pandemic four years ago.

That was when many single adults, who suddenly had to work from home, found themselves craving more privacy and space.

The increased demand, coupled with tight supply of condo units, drove rental prices to record highs. Overall, data from the Urban Redevelopment Authority showed that Singapore’s rental price index had jumped by 55 per cent from end-2020 to end-2023.

Last December, National Development Minister Desmond Lee attributed the sharp rise in residential rents to strong demand and construction delays. He said housing supply had been ramped up to mitigate this, with nearly 100,000 homes set to be completed by 2025.

Mr Lee added that to support the rental market, the cap on unrelated tenants in larger HDB flats and private properties would be raised from six to eight until 2026.

Since then, rents have softened. According to data from the Singapore Real Estate Exchange (SRX) and property portal 99.co, condominium rental prices have declined since 2023, though they then rose slightly, by 0.9 per cent, in July.

Nonetheless, there are those who have waded into the rental market and had enough.

Ms Kelly Roxanne, who rented a studio apartment in Novena for S$2,300 in 2021, decided it was time to pack up a year later when her landlord asked for 22 per cent more. 

Even before then, she realised halfway through her lease that she was “bleeding money” every month through rent, household expenses and daily necessities.  

“It was difficult to move back, even though it was a practical decision. But I don’t regret having that experience of renting because I had the chance to step out of my comfort zone,” said the 34-year-old regional marketing communications manager, who now lives with her mother and grandmother in their Bishan Housing and Development Board (HDB) flat.  

Likewise, Mr James Rainier, 33, moved back with his parents in 2023 after a year of renting when his landlord wanted to raise the rent from S$2,300 to S$3,000.

Additionally, unexpected medical expenses from a cancer diagnosis and high costs related to his dog's hospitalisation drained his savings.

So moving back was an easy decision for Mr Rainier, who has two siblings. He is now healthy and works as an entrepreneur in the media sector. 

“My mum and I missed each other. I also felt lonely in my place, and it didn’t help that I was sick most of the time, which made me too tired to do household chores.” 

MARRIED COUPLES WHO CHOOSE TO STAY WITH PARENTS 

Then there are those who got married and, instead of flying the coop, decided to build their nest within their childhood homes so that they could save money, care for their ageing parents and get help with their kids.

Ms A Thinavarshini, a 22-year-old student majoring in hospitality and tourism, lives with her husband, their one-year-old son and her in-laws in a five-room flat in Yishun. Two helpers also live in the 1,300 sq ft home. 

She told TODAY that she and her husband, who works in the logistics industry, initially wanted to rent their own place, but they opted to stay with his parents instead as it was the practical thing to do. 

They felt that not only would this save money, but it would also benefit their child to be around family members all the time - an experience Ms Thinavarshini said she never had growing up as an only child. 

She admitted that the arrangement has pros and cons. She appreciates the extra support with childcare and household duties, especially as she is still studying and works part-time as a customer service executive. 

“But sometimes, my husband and I do feel the desire for more privacy and independence," she added.

"We don’t have enough CPF (Central Provident Fund) savings to get our own house yet, but maybe we might try for a BTO flat when we’re older.”

And if the BTO plan does not work out, Ms Thinavarshini said she doesn't mind continuing with the current living arrangement. She plans to have another child soon, and staying with extended family will help her avoid the challenges of raising the children alone. 

Her arrangement is unusual in Singapore, where the question "Do you want to apply for a BTO flat with me?" is synonymous with a wedding proposal. 

But there are those who did get their own house, only to return to the nest as life circumstances nudged them back.

Madam Nur, a 41-year-old administrator who has been married for 16 years, moved in with her father-in-law three years ago after her mother-in-law’s passing.

Her father-in-law, now in his 70s, did not want to move or sell his four-room flat. After the minimum occupancy period for Madam Nur’s resale flat ended, she and her husband sold it and moved in with him.

It was not an easy decision to make, she said.

“We had spent S$100,000 on renovations, and it was a five-room unit, so I really loved that flat," she said of her marital home.

"But as my father-in-law got older, we felt it was important to live with him so he wouldn’t be alone.”

She noted that most people want their own place after marriage because it shows independence, but every family’s situation is different. 

"Some, like us, need to care for our single parent. For my husband, it’s also about not having regrets about not spending enough time with his dad.”

Similarly, a 39-year-old interior stylist who wanted to be known only as Ms Tey, lives with her husband and mother in a three-bedroom dual-key condominium unit, so that her mother can take it easy in her golden years.

A dual-key unit has two independent living areas connected by a common foyer, offering the feel of two homes within a single property. 

For over 30 years before moving in with Ms Tey in 2013, her widowed mother, originally from Johor Bahru, crossed the Causeway daily as she worked as a sales executive in Singapore.

“My mum used to work very late, and having a home in Singapore meant she didn't have to travel back to JB late at night. I can take care of her and be assured of her well-being,” said Ms Tey, whose father died when she was young. 

As a result, Ms Tey admitted, she and her husband did not get the chance to enjoy a “newlywed period”. There were also lifestyle differences between Ms Tey and her now-retired mother, which required adjustments as she did not want the 66-year-old to “feel like a tenant” in their 996 sq ft home.

Meanwhile, some couples, like marketing manager Jacelyn Phang, 34, and her husband, 36, generate passive income from staying with their parents. 

They had bought a condominium unit and are renting it out now for S$3,000 a month while living in her parents' 1,400 sq ft condo. 

“Our long-term goal is to accumulate enough savings to retire early and spend more time with family instead of working so much,” said Ms Phang. 

RETURNING TO THE COOP, BUT PERHAPS NOT FOR LONG

While data is unavailable, several property analysts told TODAY that they have observed a rise in single renters returning to live with their parents in the past year.

Ms Christine Sun, chief researcher and strategist at OrangeTee Group, said the company’s agents have observed an estimated 15 to 20 per cent increase last year in the number of young adults deciding to move back in with parents once their leases were up, due to high rent. 

“Others may have expressed a desire to move back, but their tenancy contracts are still in effect.” 

Mr Alan Cheong, executive director of research and consultancy at Savills, said there has also been a decline in rental inquiries from fresh graduates and young singles, especially those working in the technology sector, where tighter budgets have resulted in job cuts. 

“In 2021, around one out of 10 clients from this group asked to rent, looking for co-living or renting single rooms in shophouses for around S$1,500 to S$1,800 (a month).

“But with rising rents and job losses, many are either moving back to their parents or opting for cheaper rentals elsewhere,” said Mr Cheong.

But as rentals in the private property market are stabilising, experts say demand may return. 

Mr Joel Lim, 99.co’s associate head of research, noted that the supply of condominiums increased significantly in the past year, with 19,968 private residential units completed in 2023 compared with 9,526 units in 2022. 

“With such an influx of units last year, condo rental prices are suppressed as renters have more options,” Mr Lim said.

Meanwhile, HDB rentals have been steadily rising in the past year, reaching an all-time high in July 2024, driven by private market tenants seeking cheaper accommodations in public housing units.

But HDB rents could begin to soften towards the end of the year, as some tenants who shifted to public housing during the peak of the private rental market may opt to return to private residences due to declining rental rates, analysts said.

Still, Mr Cheong said it may take a year or longer before more singles reenter the rental market, as concerns over job security have now taken precedence over the desire for independence.

“If rents decrease and salaries improve, I believe the trend of moving out will return. Currently, the mismatch between rent and wages is discouraging people from leaving their parents' homes.” 

Agreeing, Ms Sun said: “Many young adults are still working towards independent living and starting families, with government policies providing singles with more options for housing. 

“While moving back home may help alleviate short-term housing pressures, many will likely seek independent living as soon as they can afford it." 

Similarly, the experts said married couples who choose to stay under the same roof as their parents remain the exception and are unlikely to become a norm.

Ms Sun noted, for example, that the number of flats offered under the 3Gen (three-generation) model is limited, suggesting that demand may not be high and most small families still prefer to live independently.

WHY MOVE OUT AT ALL? 

Against the Singaporean context of shrinking families, an ageing population and rising property prices, it may seem contradictory that there is such a strong desire among young people, both single and married, to leave the nest.

According to data from the Singapore Department of Statistics, while the number of three-generation households in Singapore has risen over the past decade, from 129,000 in 2010 to 135,000 in 2020, they make up a smaller proportion of total households - 11.3 per cent in 2010 versus 9.8 per cent in 2020.

Sociologists told TODAY that this reflects a declining trend in the popularity of 3Gen households over the past decade.

Dr Tan Ern Ser, a sociologist at the National University of Singapore (NUS), noted that globally, moving out is seen as a significant step towards establishing independence. 

“(In Singapore,) they view owning property as both a citizenship right and a profitable investment. In particular, access to subsidised public housing is seen as an opportunity to acquire an appreciating asset.”

Indeed, there is a perception among some that if a married couple does not buy their own home, they are "wasting" an opportunity to tap government housing grants, said Savills' Mr Cheong. 

Couples applying for BTO flats are eligible for grants such as the Enhanced CPF Housing Grant and Step-up CPF Housing Grant, while those buying resale flats have other grant options, such as the Proximity Housing Grant (PHG), among others.

"It's not just a case of the grants driving up demand," he said. "Because a first-time HDB purchase is now seen as a sure-win handout, every Tom, Dick and Harry wants in."

OrangeTee Group's Ms Sun, however, disagreed.

"Grants are given by the Government to intentionally help Singaporeans who qualify for these grants. Therefore, I don't think it is a case where people feel it is free money," she said.

"The grants are already set aside and intended to help those who are eligible. I think when they created the policies, they should have already considered the potential impact on demand and prices."

Whether or not homebuyers are applying for flats partly to benefit from government grants, it cannot be denied that the desire for privacy is a big factor driving demand for housing, too.

Sociologist Professor Paulin Straughan said this is especially true in a densely populated city-state like Singapore, where space is limited, making personal privacy scarce. 

She noted that Singapore’s housing policies and market have evolved over time to address this issue, from the introduction of jumbo flats in the 1990s to more recent innovations such as dual-key units, which were first launched in a condominium project in 2009. 

Prof Straughan, who teaches at the Singapore Management University, said the dual-key unit concept addresses two key social needs - privacy and intergenerational living. 

“The growing trend of young adults remaining single into their 30s and 40s also highlights the need for housing solutions that offer both privacy and proximity to family, and dual-key units provide a practical option for these people.” 

Aside from introducing new forms of housing to accommodate families' varied needs, would it also make sense for the Government to incentivise people to live with their parents?

NUS’ Dr Tan said the answer is not so straightforward.

“I reckon the Government could incentivise multigenerational living under one roof, but this may not reduce the demand for ‘nuclear family’ housing significantly,” he said, highlighting various factors such as intergenerational tensions.

“Living under one roof is a double-edged sword. It may reinforce or strengthen intergenerational relationships, or it may generate conflict between generations.” 

Hence, Dr Tan said that living near each other may be better for intergenerational relations than living under one roof. 

Similarly, Prof Straughan said providing options for different family dynamics is crucial because not all families will find shared living arrangements suitable. 

“We should not take for granted that everyone has a harmonious relationship with their family," she said. "If intergenerational conflict is unresolved, there may be issues like elder abuse as parents age and become more dependent.”

For those who do have harmonious relations with their parents and want to save money, though, there should be no shame in staying in the nest.

Prof Straughan pointed out that the expectation for grown-up children to have their own space is largely shaped by pop culture. 

“Pop culture often depicts young adults living in trendy apartments and sharing spaces with friends, while living with parents is portrayed as uncool,” she said. “This stigma can influence a young adult’s decisions, even if living with parents is a practical choice.

“Sometimes, we make very important decisions in our life just based on a fad. But, we should look at our own needs and not be afraid to live in a way that works best for us."

The article was originally published in TODAY. 

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