South Korean Christian consultant urges churches to promote marriage

June 4 (Asia Today) -- Amid what many churches describe as a crisis of family breakdown and population decline, a South Korean Christian marriage consultant is drawing attention for a ministry aimed at helping young believers build families of faith.

Jo Byeong-chan, 68, CEO of Grace Marriage Consulting and an elder at Yoido Full Gospel Church, said churches and policymakers often speak about low birthrates while overlooking what he sees as the more basic problem: fewer young people are getting married.

"For a child to be born, marriage must come first," Jo said in an interview with Asia Today on Tuesday. "If young people do not marry, encouraging childbirth has no meaning."

Jo recently published "Marriage, Change the Paradigm," a book that calls on South Korean churches to focus less on discussing childbirth subsidies and more on helping young Christians prepare for marriage.

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He said the issue is not only demographic but spiritual.

"Government and churches are all talking about the seriousness of low birthrates," Jo said. "But before a child can be born, marriage must happen first. No matter how many birth incentives the government gives, they are useless if children are not born."

Jo said policies that provide money after childbirth miss the first step.

"Even if a local government gives 1 million won for one child and 2 million won for two children, young people today do not have children because of money," he said. "The real priority should be marriage encouragement, helping young people understand and prepare for marriage."

Jo's career change came after decades in the insurance industry. He said he worked for more than 30 years in insurance and was once regarded as one of the industry's "living legends," ranking first nationwide in insurance sales for five consecutive years.

But his business later declined sharply after banks began selling insurance products. At the time, Jo said, his three children were studying in the United States and his wife was supporting them there. As income fell, he relied on loans, credit card cash advances and eventually private debt.

"I hit the bottom of life to the point where I understood why some people make extreme choices," Jo said.

He said he overcame the crisis through faith and early morning prayer.

"One day during prayer, I heard God's voice saying, 'Restore the broken church. I will bless you. I will take responsibility for your life, so do this ministry,'" Jo said.

When he shared the experience with his pastor, the pastor told him that marriage was one of the major problems facing Korean churches and suggested that matchmaking could be the way to address it.

"I had never done matchmaking even once," Jo said. "People around me all tried to stop me, but I trusted God and began. It has already been 12 years and six months. Now my wife is also participating in the ministry."

Grace Marriage Consulting has grown into one of South Korea's leading Christian matchmaking companies, with 22 branches in South Korea and overseas and more than 10,000 members, according to Jo.

Jo said the company focuses only on Christian marriages because his calling was to help restore Korean churches.

"God gave me the mission of restoring the Korean church," he said. "That is why I have focused completely on Christian families."

He said media appearances on Christian outlets, including Far East Broadcasting Co., helped spread his testimony and connect the company with churches and Christian singles across the country.

Jo said matchmaking today requires professional diagnosis, not only introductions from parents, relatives or friends.

"In the Bible, it says that if anyone is sick, he should call the elders of the church," Jo said. "In those days, there were no hospitals, so people were treated through the prayers of elders. But today, when people are sick, they go to a hospital, meet a doctor and receive a prescription. Marriage is the same."

He said old-style introductions often provide too narrow a pool of possible partners.

"Times have changed," Jo said. "Depending only on parents or acquaintances makes the range of meetings too limited."

Jo said his company uses a three-step verification system to improve matching.

The first step is an in-person meeting and diagnosis. Jo said he personally meets every member for a 30-minute to one-hour consultation, evaluating family education, personality, self-esteem, morality, confidence and other traits before writing an assessment.

The second step is customized matching. A matching manager uses the initial evaluation to analyze the member's preferred type and introduce a suitable match.

The third step is feedback and data collection. After an actual meeting, the company gathers feedback on manners, alcohol and smoking, financial stability, appearance and other factors.

"If one person meets three people, three sets of feedback are collected," Jo said. "Even if each person sees differently, common points appear. That is the person's real appearance."

He said the company shares the accumulated feedback transparently with the next potential match before asking whether the person wants to meet.

"That is why the verification is clear," Jo said. "Even if someone marries after one month, there is no defect."

Jo said a good spouse should be judged by three key standards: character, faith and family.

"The first is not faith but character," he said. "Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but a person who can embrace the other person's weaknesses is truly a person of good character."

He said couples with good character do not easily fight or divorce, while poor character can lead to conflict over minor matters.

The second standard is faith, Jo said.

"Christians must marry Christians," he said. "Some young people say they will marry a non-Christian and evangelize that person, but I firmly say no. That is not evangelism. They want to marry that person and are rationalizing God's word."

The third standard is the other person's family, he said, citing the old Korean saying that to know a daughter, one should look at her mother.

"It means looking at the parents' tendencies and the family environment," Jo said. "But it is difficult for young people to fully understand a person's character, faith and family. That is why they need help from experts."

Jo said churches should no longer leave marriage only to young adults or their parents.

"If churches are truly worried about low birthrates, they must constantly proclaim from the pulpit, 'Get married' and 'Prepare for marriage,' and actively hold marriage seminars," Jo said.

He said parents and churches share responsibility for helping young people build families of faith.

"If churches cooperate with marriage experts and guide young people, I believe happy families will increase and the current low birthrate problem will naturally be resolved," Jo said.

Jo said he wants to continue the ministry as his life's calling.

"I want to fulfill this ministry entrusted to me by God until the end," he said. "My calling for the rest of my life is to help more young people form families in faith and live happy lives."

-- Reported by Asia Today; translated by UPI

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Original Korean report: https://www.asiatoday.co.kr/kn/view.php?key=20260604000026013