Savvy Senior: Helping an aging parent manage their money

Dear Savvy Senior: Since my dad passed away last year, my 82-year-old mother has struggled to keep up with her bills. She’s proud and insists on doing things herself, but I worry she’s falling behind. How can I help her manage her finances without upsetting her? — Concerned Daughter

Dear Concerned Daughter: You’re not alone. Lots of adult children step in to help aging parents with their finances. Whether it’s paying bills, handling bank accounts, filing insurance claims or sorting through taxes, taking on these responsibilities can feel tricky. The key is to approach it with respect, organization and the right safeguards. Here’s how to help your mom without stepping on her independence.

Have a conversation

Talking about money can be sensitive, especially with a parent who values doing things on her own. Start with a gentle, respectful conversation. Share your concerns and offer to help with her bills or other chores. If you have siblings, loop them in too. Knowing the whole family is on the same page can reassure your mom that everyone cares, not that you’re taking over.

Get organized

If your mom is open to your help, the first step is getting organized. Make a clear list of her financial information, including monthly bills like utilities, phone, cable and credit cards; bank and investment accounts; company benefits like retirement plans or pensions; insurance policies and Medicare; and copies of recent income tax returns. Having everything in one place will make managing her finances much smoother.

Locate legal documents

Now is also a good time to see if your mom has essential legal papers: a will or trust, an advance directive with a living will and healthcare proxy and a durable power of attorney for finances. If she doesn’t, now is the time to get them in place. If she does, make sure they’re up to date and that you know where to find them.

Simplify financial tasks

To make life easier, set up automatic payments for her bills and have her income go straight into her bank account. If her accounts and investments are scattered, consider consolidating them — it makes everything much simpler. You can also get her banking and investment accounts online so you can pay bills and monitor everything anytime, without digging through papers or making extra trips.

Set up protections

Protect your mom from scams or risky spending. A True Link Visa Prepaid Card (truelinkfinancial.com) gives her access to her money but lets you set spending limits. Online monitoring services like Carefull (getcarefull.com) or EverSafe (eversafe.com) can watch her accounts, flag anything suspicious and send alerts if something seems off. These tools give peace of mind while letting her maintain independence.

Seek outside help

If you live far away or just need a hand, professional services can step in. SilverBills (silverbills.com) handles bill payments, while a certified daily money manager (aadmm.com) can come by once or twice a month to pay bills, make deposits, sort through health insurance statements and keep everything organized. Think of them as extra hands to make life easier for both of you.

Helping a parent manage finances takes patience, respect and tact. With clear communication, organization and the right safeguards, you can support your mom while maintaining her independence and peace of mind.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org.