A Top Historian Isn't Holding Back On Ridley Scott's Gladiator 2

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Move over, spoiler-phobes. As much as the internet and anti-spoiler crowd have changed the entire way we talk about movies in recent years (and, oftentimes, how the biggest blockbuster movies are marketed and released), those days might be officially behind us. Another contender has entered the ring and seems fully intent on battling for the title of Chief Arbiter of Film Discourse. For anyone who ever considered the state of the movie industry and thought that notorious sticklers for detail like Neil DeGrasse Tyson should be ruling the roost — looking at you, my freshman history professor whose name I'm mercifully withholding — we have great news. Welcome to the dawn of a new age, one where we finally end the scourge of fiction that dares to stray too far from fact in the pursuit of entertainment. No fun allowed around these parts, folks!

Okay, so it's not really as dramatic as all that, but tell that to some actual historians currently throwing a fit when it comes to the release of "Gladiator II." I can't imagine most filmgoers were ever under the impression that every thrilling action beat shown in the trailers were lifted directly from the history books, but thankfully some of the biggest killjoys around are here to clear up any and all misconceptions anyway. In an admittedly fun article by The Hollywood Reporter, the trade asked various experts for their thoughts on "Gladiator II" and just how well (or not) director Ridley Scott's latest historical epic stacks up compared to the real thing. Apparently, the answer is, "Not even close."

Warning: the action in Gladiator II is 'Total Hollywood bull***t'

Remember when the world united around the question of how often the average person thinks about the Roman Empire? Well, it's time to hear from the people who've dedicated their entire lives to historical events like that. In a new THR report, University of Chicago professor Shadi Bartsch was asked for her opinions on Ridley Scott, the filmmaker who famously depicted Napoleon Bonaparte firing on Egypt's Great Pyramids with cannons, and whether he perhaps got things right this time around in "Gladiator II." Yeah, that'd be a strong "No," folks. Take the scene featured prominently in the trailers, where the Coliseum is flooded with water in order to make for even more spectacular fights. Those staged naval battles did happen, mind you, but those sharks let loose on all those hapless gladiators? Not so much. As Bartsch hilariously stated:

"Total Hollywood bull***t. I don't think Romans knew what a shark was."

That's not even the most egregious liberty that Scott and writer David Scarpa took, however (nor is it Denzel Washington's awfully inaccurate accent, either). Oh no, that honor goes to a scene featuring Roman characters sitting down for some tea and a morning read of the newspaper in what certainly looks like a café. According to Bartsch, "[Romans] did have daily news – Acta Diuma – but it was carved and placed at certain locations. You had to go to it, you couldn't hold it at a café. Also, they didn't have cafés!" And as long as I'm bursting everyone's bubble, I'm compelled to point out that even the gladiatorial rhinos aren't entirely faithful to real life, either ... at least, not the idea of gladiators riding them into battle. Bummer! What, are you going to tell me that the idea of Russel Crowe's Maximus reuniting with his family in the afterlife wasn't real, either?

"Gladiator II," historical inaccuracies and all, will hit theaters November 22, 2024.