“No surprise, the man who’s never had an actual job in his life did not actually work at McDonald’s,” Stephen Colbert said of Donald Trump’s appearance at a closed fast-food outlet.
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Late Night Mocks Trump for His McDonald’s Photo Op

The ex-president’s stint at the drive-through window was “blue-collar drag,” said Stephen Colbert. “But with more makeup.”

by · NY Times

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

‘Blue-Collar Drag’

Former President Donald Trump appeared behind a McDonald’s counter on Sunday, trolling Vice President Kamala Harris (he claims, with no evidence, that she’s lying about having worked at one in the ’80s).

“No surprise, the man who’s never had an actual job in his life did not actually work at McDonald’s,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday. Citing news reports, he said the Trump appearance “was a half-hour photo op at a closed McDonald’s, and the people he served were preselected supporters.”

“He’s not the common man. This is all just blue-collar drag. But with more makeup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Well, McDonald’s screwed up my order again!” — SETH MEYERS


“That’s his whole campaign right now: ‘Ave Maria’ dance party, ‘I’m going to deport everybody,’ football tailgate, blame the Jews if I lose, McDonald’s drive-through.” — JON STEWART


“Yeah, he had a great time at McDonald’s, ’cause for 20 minutes, Trump actually ran a successful business.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Trump told reporters, ‘I love McDonald’s. I love jobs. I like to see good jobs.’ Wow, I just realized, if you replace ‘I’ with ‘me,’ he has the same vocabulary as Cookie Monster: ‘Me love McDonald’s. Me love jobs.’” — SETH MEYERS


“I love when he said ‘I’ve always wanted to work at McDonald’s’ with a straight face and expects us to believe it. Oh, do you? Well, no one’s stopping you, bro. I noticed you didn’t pick up an application on your way out. Maybe you can get a job jumping out of the ball pit and scaring away kids who have been there for too long.” — SETH MEYERS


“Give him the job. I implore you. I don’t care if his references don’t shake out. Save democracy, give him the job.” — JON STEWART

The Punchiest Punchlines (Eggplant Emoji Edition)

“While speaking over the weekend at a campaign rally in Pennsylvania, former President Trump discussed golf legend Arnold Palmer and said he was ‘all man.’ Well, technically, he was half man, half iced tea.” — SETH MEYERS
“But for Trump, this was actually one of his milder genital rants. This was kind of his Kidz Bop genitals rant: classy, body-positive, he was complimenting somebody else. I don’t know why we have to parse everything that this guy says so sternly.” — JON STEWART


“I think one of his staffers must have said, ‘We need to focus on the polls,’ and Trump was, like, ‘Oh, I’ll focus on the pole.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Afterwards, you could donate $10 to Trump’s campaign by texting the eggplant emoji.” — JIMMY FALLON


“Right after, McDonald’s was, like, ‘We’re sorry, but you’re fired. It’s a family restaurant.’” — JIMMY FALLON

The Bits Worth Watching

Harris’s running mate, Gov. Tim Walz, talked about undecided voters with Jon Stewart on Monday’s “Daily Show.”

What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night

Bridget Everett, the creator and star of the HBO series “Somebody Somewhere,” will promote its third season on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”

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