Pearl Jam Fell in Love With the Drummer

More than a year after Matt Cameron quit Pearl Jam due to what he later described as “having some issues with three-hour shows and constant touring,” a new mollusk has opened wide with his replacement, and, no, his name is not Jeremy. Pearl Jam officially announced groove master Abe Laboriel Jr. as their new kit man during their Sunday set at Ohana Festival. Eddie Vedder took time out to pontificate about the band’s good fortune. “We’re very honored that a Beatle no less, Paul McCartney, would allow us to borrow him to help us,” he said, according to Rolling Stone. “Well, because here’s the thing. There’s an old musical adage that I do believe, and that is that you cannot be — and we’ve had the best — but you cannot be a great band without a great drummer. So we thank Abe for keeping us in the running.” Vedder proceeded to dedicate “Better Man” to his new bandmate, who has been McCartney’s touring drummer since 2001: “Not the whole song, but just the chorus line to Mr. Abe, the chorus that says, ‘Can’t find a better man.’” It’s unclear how Pearl Jam and Sir Paul will share custody of Laboriel Jr., but, as of now, the only side with tour dates is a November twofer for Pearl Jam in Brazil. Until they have a system worked out, we’ll keep typing Paul Jam in support.