You Don’t Need A Man: 10 Rom Coms Where the Real Story Was About Self-Love

TV + Movies

Romantic comedies come with their fair share of grand gestures and swoon-worthy moments, but some of the most memorable ones remind us that the greatest love story is the one we have with ourselves.

By Mishal Zafar

Updated 1 minute ago, November 27, 2024

While it’s not always obvious, some of the best romantic comedies aren’t really about romance at all.

Sure, there’s usually a love interest hanging around somewhere, but in these gems, finding “the one” takes a backseat to something way more important: falling in love with yourself. Here are 10 rom-coms where the real love story was all about self-love.

Legally Blonde (2001)

Legally Blonde follows Elle Woods, a fashionable sorority girl who decides to enroll at Harvard Law School to try and win back her ex-boyfriend. Even as she battles impostor syndrome and sexism, Elle never loses sight of her authentic self. t’s fun to see her prove Warner wrong. But the real magic is in how she stops caring what he thinks altogether. Elle crushes law school, rocks that pink wardrobe, and saves the day in court, all while being unapologetically true to herself. And when love does show up, it’s just the cherry on top of Elle’s own success story.

Eat Pray Love (2010)

In Eat Pray Love, Julia Roberts’ Elizabeth Gilbert embarks on a journey of self-discovery after a painful divorce, traveling to Italy, India, and Bali. After years of prioritizing her role as a wife and conforming to societal expectations, she finally realizes she has lost touch with who she truly is. This isn’t a typical “find a man abroad” story – it’s about a woman figuring out who she is outside of her relationships. The best part is watching Liz find her way back to herself through pasta, meditation, and some serious soul-searching. By the time she meets Mr. Right in Bali, she’s already found something better – her own happiness.

How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)

Stella, a successful 40-year-old career woman who spent years putting all of her energy into work and raising her son as a single parent, has become a little jaded and disconnected from the things that used to bring her joy. She impulsively takes a vacation to Jamaica and ends up falling for a much younger local man. Everyone focuses on the age gap romance, but that’s missing the point. This is about Stella remembering she’s more than just a mom and workaholic. Winston, might be young and attractive, but he’s not the one who gives Stella her groove back – he just helps her realize she had it all along. Plus, seeing Angela Bassett’s character take up space and demand joy was revolutionary for its time.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

Bridget Jones is a delightfully neurotic 30-something Londoner navigating the ups and downs of dating, her looks, and her job.  But she doesn’t choose to get a makeover, she instead just stops apologizing for who she is. Between the embarrassing family dinners and vodka-fueled karaoke nights, she figures out that maybe she’s not the one who needs fixing. The diary isn’t really about finding love – it’s her talking herself into believing she deserves it.

To All the Boys: Always and Forever (2021)

The final installment to the To All the Boys trilogy is a sweet, satisfying conclusion to Lara Jean and Peter’s love story. The high school sweethearts = navigate the exciting yet bittersweet transition to college and the future.  Lara Jean is grappling with the scary prospect of leaving the comfort of her tight-knit family and relationship to figure out who she is as an independent young adult.  She could have done the typical thing and followed her boyfriend to college. Instead, she chooses herself – and NYU. The best part is that the movie doesn’t villainize anyone for it. It just shows that sometimes growing up means growing in different directions. And watching Lara Jean fall in love with New York City is sweeter than any kiss scene.

Can’t Hardly Wait (1998)

Can’t Hardly Wait is one of those quintessential ’90s high school rom-coms that just nails the perfect mix of humor, heart, and relatable nostalgia. On the surface, it’s about shy wallflower Preston trying to finally confess his longtime crush to the popular girl of his dreams, Amanda, at their last high school party. But the real story here is about Preston’s journey of self-discovery and finding the confidence to embrace who he is. Throughout the film, we see him struggling with insecurity and constantly trying to mold himself into what he thinks Amanda wants, when really he just needs to learn to be proud of his quirky, genuine self.  It’s satisfying to see Preston realize that the person he was all along is the one worth loving – a great lesson in the power of self-acceptance, even in the high-stakes world of teenage romance.

Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)

Frances is a newly divorced woman who impulsively buys a crumbling house in Italy that nobody else wants. After the devastating end of her relationship, she’s understandably guarded and afraid to open herself up again. But as she restores the Tuscan villa and becomes part of the local community, she blossoms and finds the confidence to embrace life on her own terms. It’s an incredibly uplifting story about the transformative power of taking a chance, following your passions, and learning to love yourself, flaws and all. By the end, Frances doesn’t just have a beautiful new home – she’s found her way back to herself.

Clueless (1995)

Cher is a privileged high school student playing matchmaker for her friends and teachers. She starts out so focused on appearances and status that she doesn’t really know who she is underneath all the designer labels. But as she gets caught up in her well-intentioned meddling, she starts to realize the importance of looking beyond the surface and caring about people for who they are. By the time she finds the perfect boyfriend, Cher also finds a deeper sense of self-confidence and empathy that makes her a better friend and person.

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

The Devil Wears Prada follows Andy, a smart but fashion-challenged aspiring journalist who lands a job as the demanding Miranda Priestly’s assistant at a prestigious magazine. As she gets swept up in Miranda’s high-stakes, high-glamour world, Andy starts to compromise her own values and sense of identity. The fashion’s amazing, but watching her slowly lose herself in pursuit of success is the real story. Miranda Priestly might be the devil in Prada, but the real villain is the voice telling Andy she has to change everything about herself to be worthy. When she finally walks away (in Paris!), you want to stand up and cheer.

Someone Great (2019)

Jenny is a music journalist going through a devastating breakup with her long-term boyfriend. After she spends one last wild night partying with her best friends, she grapples with her shattered sense of identity and future plans. It would have been so easy for the movie to just wallow in the pain of the breakup, but instead it celebrates Jenny reclaiming her independence and passions.