‘Why single women over 35 should get pregnant’ – Actress Binta Ayo Mogaji

“When your mates are grandmothers, and you’re still saying you’re looking for a husband, when will you find a husband and become a grandmother? So, my advice is…’’

Famous Nigerian actress Binta Ayo Mogaji, who welcomed her first and only child at 40, has shared her advice with unmarried women over 35 who do not have children.

Drawing from her own experiences and the societal pressures she faced, Mogaji’s advice is aimed at empowering women who may feel societal or personal pressure to marry before having children. This has been met with mixed reactions.

In July, during an interview on actress Biola Adebayo’s podcast, ‘Talk To B’, the movie star revealed she bore a child with fellow actor Jibola Dabo, though the two were never married.

She, however, disclosed that she married a UK-based physiotherapist, Victor Oduleye, in 2006, but their marriage ended after 13 years due to abuse.

However, in a recent interview on Oyinmomo TV, the actress firmly stated, “If you (a single woman) don’t have a husband at 35 or 40 years of age and truly want a child, please go ahead and have one. Nowadays, some women don’t want to have children. Even when they’re married, they’ll ask their husbands for five years to enjoy themselves, and if they get pregnant during that time, some may abort the child without telling their husbands. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

“What I’m saying is, once you’re 35 or older and you don’t have a husband, but there’s someone in your life who is with you but not ready for marriage, and he wants a child, have a child with him, even if he won’t accept responsibility for the child.”

Goals vs marriage

The 60-year-old actress stated that many women remain unmarried at 35 because they are focused on achieving all their personal and professional goals.

However, she added that by attaining those goals, men may be less inclined to marry them due to their age.

“When she (the woman) is looking for a husband at 35, they’ll say she’s too old and won’t be able to wash clothes for her mother-in-law or be controlled. They’ll advise the man to find a younger lady to listen to him. Even if she’s fortunate to marry at that age, she’ll already be old when her child grows up. Some people at 45 or 50 are already grandmothers.

“When your mates are grandmothers, and you’re still saying you’re looking for a husband, when will you find a husband and become a grandmother? So, my advice is, if God blesses you with someone who likes you and you can have children together, go ahead and do it. If you find someone you like, ask him to impregnate you as long as you want a child and can take care of the child. But if you want a child and cannot find a man to impregnate you, then consider adoption.”

Virginity mentality

Mogaji further stated that many women aged 35 and above avoid having children outside of wedlock because they believe they must remain chaste.

She said, “Our parents believed the holy books said you must be a virgin till you marry; how many ladies are now virgins nowadays? Everybody is no longer a virgin.”

She further urged married women facing domestic violence to leave the marriage before it escalates to a fatal outcome.

She emphasised that tolerance and trust are fundamental pillars of a successful marriage.

“Ring is bondage to some people, and it’s not important before you have a peaceful home. My advice is before it becomes everyday abuse, leave and don’t allow them to do a candlelight procession for you before you leave.”

The award-winning actress has played major roles in films such as Ile Olorogun, The Bridge, Checkmate, Diamonds In The Sky, My Village People, The Miracle Centre, and Man of God.