You Are Not the Movie

We make big dramas out of minor events and forget they are fleeting fictions.

Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

One of the great joys of life is going to see a movie, something that was taken away from us during the pandemic. It is enjoyable to sit with family or friends in a big-screen theater and watch an entertaining story unfold in front of you.

There are all sorts of movie genres, including mystery, adventure, romance, comedy, and horror. What is common to all is that they are full of drama, what makes them interesting and engaging. Unless they are based on a true story, the other common factor among all movies is that they are fictional stories told by talented actors and actresses.

Movies are a great metaphor for our lives. Are our lives not full of drama with changing stories over time? One may argue that the difference between our personal dramas and those told in movies is that the former are real and the latter are fictional. However, is this true?

Are our personal dramas truly real? How many times in your life have you been convinced that something is true that is later proven to be false?

Let's say you are at work, walk by your boss, and say hello, but she ignores you completely. Most people would create a story out of such an incident, such as the boss is not happy with me, I have messed up somehow, or she is going to fire me. Any of these stories may be true, but it could also be true that your boss is preoccupied with a personal matter, has a deadline to meet, is worried about a new product launch, or is being pressured by her own boss.

When something does not go your way, you may be inclined to make a story out of it and make it about you—when, most of the time, the event has nothing to do with you. Nevertheless, you create a drama.

The truth is that many of the things that we perceive to be real or true turn out to be illusions. Someone ignores you, someone makes a snide comment, you don't hear from a friend for days, your spouse is not talking to you, your children are acting up, Your create a story. But the fact is that you have no idea what is going on in other people's minds until they share their thoughts and feelings.

We can get so caught up in that drama that we treat it is real. When you watch a movie, you know that it is a fictional story designed to entertain you. The dramas in your life that you hold to be true are also often just illusions.

A movie is essentially a series of images emanating from a projector and displayed on a big screen. The images change every split second, but the projector is a constant. In the same way, you are not the story but are the underlying consciousness or being that is witness to the story.

Regardless of what drama is playing out in your life right now, it is transient, illusory, and changes with time. Enjoy your dramas, have fun with them, play your life like a game, but don't take them too seriously.

Identify with the movie projector, not the movie. Rediscover yourself as the creator of your life experience, not the victim of it.