Emilios Avraam Discusses His Coming-of-Middle-Age Feature Debut ‘Smaragda – I Got Thick Skin and I Can’t Jump,’ World Premiering in Tallinn

Emilios Avraam‘s debut feature, “Smaragda – I Got Thick Skin and I Can’t Jump,” a coming-of-middle-age story set in Cyprus, is world premiering in competition tonight at this year’s Tallinn Dark Nights Film Festival.

The film’s titular protagonist suffers from environmental sensitivities, failed relationships and a stagnant career as a TV entertainer. Not content with her situation, Smaragda becomes a children’s entertainer at a tourist resort and embraces social media, receiving both fame and backlash for her online persona. Undeterred, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery.

Produced by Bark Like A Cat Films, “Smaragda” received backing from the Cyprus Deputy Ministry of Culture and Creative Europe MEDIA (Mini Slate). It was developed at First Films First and Torino Film Lab Extended Script Development Programs and pitched at Connecting Cottbus coproduction forum 2021, Dot on the Map Industry Days 2023 and presented at KVIFF Works In Progress 2024.

Related Stories

VIP+

3 Ways Gen AI Is Having Early Impact in TV Production

Seth Meyers Mocks Trump's Cabinet Picks of 'Goblins and Weirdos': He's 'Gonna Sic Them on the Government Like a Bunch of Ferrets on Ketamine'

Ahead of the film’s world premiere, Avraam spoke with Variety about working on his debut feature, where the story came from and why Smaragda’s story is not one of a mid-life crisis.

What inspired you to tell this story? Is it based on something or someone from your own life?

This story draws deeply from the life of someone close to me. A life shaped by traumas and unexpected twists, leading her to choose a solitary path. But solitude doesn’t mean emptiness; her journey has been profoundly fulfilling in ways most might not expect. Life today has never been objectively better, yet for many, it has never felt worse. We often perceive the world as a place in decline, and this pessimism shapes our choices in ways that don’t always align with our deepest human needs.

Our sense of belonging and purpose, once rooted in community and tradition, now often shifts into unconventional spaces and places that defy societal and gender norms. This is something I deeply identify with.

Yes, the world is imperfect, full of vanity, injustice, and mishaps. We all know that. But it’s also brimming with beauty, waiting to be amplified. If we choose to act as if the world is inherently good, we can contribute to its betterment, little by little, generation by generation. Sometimes, it’s the smallest shifts in perspective that spark the brightest changes.

There are many midlife crisis movies, but Smaragda didn’t feel like she was in “crisis” to me. Can you talk about how you decided to portray this midlife story?

When I wrote this story, I wasn’t aiming for a typical midlife crisis narrative. Instead, it’s more of a midlife coming-of-age. The main character isn’t unraveling, she’s evolving, shaped and redefined by personal fears and concerns I’ve wrestled with myself.  I wanted to explore the unique complexities of midlife, intertwining them with urgent, modern-day issues like climate change and the black hole of social media. These aren’t just abstract topics; they ripple through our lives, influencing the choices we make on the most personal level. By blending these elements, I sought to create a story that reflects the ways we grow, adapt, and make sense of a world that’s rapidly changing around us.

Aesthetically, I was struck by how much color there is in this film. How important was it to get the lighting and color right because it seems to mirror or harshly contrast with Smaragda’s emotional state in any given scene?

The visual language of the film was meticulously crafted in collaboration with our cinematographer, Yorgos Rahmatoulin, production designer, Christy Polydorou and costume designer Marios Messios. Together, we explored every nuance, shaping a world where the mood sometimes harmonized with the tone and, at other times, deliberately clashed with it. I envisioned a playful spirit running through the film, so I encouraged our creative team to experiment boldly. This freedom allowed us to push boundaries and uncover unexpected dynamics, resulting in a visual style that feels alive and surprising.

How did you find the experience of moving from shorts to feature directing? Were there unexpected difficulties, or did your previous work on those award-winning shorts prepare you entirely for the transition?

Looking back at my short films, I realize I was just dipping my toes in the water. I played around with genres like stylized neo-noir thrillers and offbeat comedies, stuff I love both watching and creating. But when it came to my debut feature, I felt the need to say something more personal, something that reflected my own concerns, even if it wasn’t entirely drawn from my life. Once I found the inspiration through a beloved one, it all clicked. I finally felt like I could express my voice. 

Of course, as soon as we got the green light, I spiralled into self-doubt. Two shorts and one lockdown film. What was I thinking? I told myself I should’ve experimented more, made the transition smoother. I’m not going to sugarcoat it: I made mistakes. There were moments when I genuinely thought, “I’m not ready for this,” and my chronic anxiety was relentless. 

But we finished it. And while it isn’t perfect, in the sense that I would’ve done some things differently, given the chance, it was mine. By the end, I managed to give myself a small, shaky pat on the shoulder and thought, you did it. You actually did it. And now I can’t wait to tell my next story, which is profoundly personal.

How long have you been working on this film? The screener I was sent was posted 8 months ago; you must be dying to get this film out into the world!

I started working on this script seven years ago. What began as a short film script grew into a full-blown feature. In 2018, we got script development funding from the Cyprus Deputy Ministry of Culture, and from there, things snowballed. The script evolved through Goethe Institute’s First Films First program and the following year, Torino Film Lab Extended. By 2021, we secured additional development funding, which opened doors to coproduction opportunities through Connecting Cottbus and Dot on the Map Industry Days forums.

Did we secure all the funding we needed? No. But hey, we’re storytellers—we made it work anyway. Having an incredible friend and producer, Tonia Mishiali, on board made sure this was going to happen, no matter what. That meant saying goodbye to a few narrative and visual darlings along the way, of course, but sometimes less really is more, even if it hurts a little.

Now, about that Vimeo link dated eight months ago. Here’s the deal: I was sending out links for feedback during the first cut, constantly replacing them with updated versions as they piled up. I’m not going to tell you which version finally locked. Let’s just say anxiety had a hand in that chaos.

But you’re right. I’m dying to share this story with the world. I think a lot of people will connect with Smaragda, the beautifully messy, wonderfully flawed disaster of a character. After all, isn’t life exactly that? A beautiful disaster.