Even the ancient Egyptians knew Marlo Thomas is a timeless beauty

Flipping over Egyptian ’do

This is an explanation of the Marlo Pillars. The what? Marlo. As in Marlo Thomas.

I now go back. Not a few words. A few centuries.

We speak of stone carvings called the Hathoric pillars: Their interior ­hypostyle hall contains columns featuring the carved face of the goddess Hathor, who represents love, joy and beauty. Yeah, OK.

The massive rock-cut figures in the village of Upper Egypt’s Abu Simbel are considered a solar wonder.

Why? Because perfectly aligned with the sun twice a year, they are thus worshipped. I mean, is that clear?

About 1250 BC they were built by King Ramses the Second. Don’t ask details. I don’t know more. Getting a shampoo, I wasn’t there at the time.

So if rushing to see them instead of maybe hitting Newark, this rock-cut holiness sits in southern Egypt. Upper Egypt. That’s, as we all know, the village of Abu Simbel. Near Sudan’s border. It’s got the special reverence and protection of Lake Nasser, which is a big long ride south of Cairo.

So, listen, if you can’t find your way to Canal Street, this is not my problem.

Therefore its Holy shrine is 3,000 years old so don’t waste time looking for transportation.

What makes this come to mind specially is that — if you can believe it — the face of the rock is carved in — ready? You won’t believe this — in the exact likeness of Marlo Thomas.

Marlo Thomas?! Yeah. Marlo Thomas, star of TV’s ancient sitcom “That Girl.” Her television character was Ann Marie. Always encompassed in fame, her father was the famous entertainer Danny Thomas. Her husband the famous TV personality Phil Donahue. Both gone, as is the sitcom. She won four Emmys, Grammy, a Golden Globe and a few other things.

Now 88, revered for philanthropy, she works for what Danny Thomas created — St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. The facility is in Tennessee. Its offices are in New York. The hospital subsists on donations.

OK. So why am I mentioning Marlo Thomas?

Because a friend who’d just visited Egypt sent me colored photos taken with her phone — of these ancient historic rock sculptures I just mentioned. Close-ups. Tight close-ups. The camera was nearly in the rock formation’s mouth. A dentist couldn’t get a better shot of a wisdom tooth.

That rock is thousands of years old. Pay attention. This historic Egyptian formation is CLEARLY, EXACTLY HONESTLY — hair by hair — the total complete replication of Marlo Thomas. She had a distinct hairdo on television. The straight down brown ends flipped up. It was her look. No page boy. No updo. No perm. No long curls. No bangs. No short cut. No tinting blond or red. No GI close shave. No added fake-o hairpiece. Just those flip-up ends.

My question is, how did Marlo pose a minimum of — give or take a week — thousands of years ago. I mean, my hairdresser Lisa takes years to book, but centuries?!

So, a friend went there. This friend took a photo. She also then took a shot of Marlo. The hairdo’s the same. Exactly the same.

Sorry, I have no information about her manicure.

I am not complaining about the economy or the prices or anything or even unhappy about coffee now being $100 a cup. I merely tell you about a friend passing a Chevron station and then coming to a sudden jolting stop, when the driver saw the price of gasoline.

Only in America, kids, Only in America.