Someone Asked “How Did You Lose Your Best Friend?” And 56 People Got Honest
by Robyn Smith, Ilona Baliūnaitė · Bored PandaADVERTISEMENT
Love makes the world go round. And friendships make life more bearable and fun. Research shows that stable, healthy friendships are beneficial to our well-being and can even help us to live longer, healthier lives. Many of us would love for our friendships to last forever. But unfortunately, that's not always possible.
Best friends part for many reasons. Sometimes they drift apart, other times they cut ties after an argument, or one does something totally unforgivable. If you've ever lost a bestie, you might know the heartbreak can be similar to that of losing a lover. When someone went online and asked "how did you lose your best friend?", they were inundated with answers. From "blurred lines", to infidelity, to disability, Bored Panda has gathered the most raw and honest responses.
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Regardless of the reason, losing a best friend can be devastating. That person was likely part of your life for a while. Someone you shared your innermost thoughts, fears and secrets with. You might have laughed and cried together. And suddenly, they're gone.
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Therapists say the brain interprets loss as emotional trauma. There are physical symptoms that come with it. You might not want to eat. Your memory, sleep, and general brain function could be affected. The trauma could last months, or even years.
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There are various symptoms of grief that go with the loss of a bestie. You might experience confusion, anger, guilt, sadness, shock, denial and even physical pains before you find yourself accepting the situation. It's important to note that acceptance doesn't mean you no longer grieve the loss, or miss your friend. It means you've decided to move on with your life and cope.
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“Prioritizing self-care, revisiting positive memories, and leaning on your support network can help you navigate this challenging period,” reads one therapy website. It's not unusual for friendships to end. Friends will come and go throughout our lives. But when a friend becomes like family, it's a different story altogether. So it goes without saying that some friendships will take longer to get over than others.
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"After losing a friend, allow yourself to grieve as you would for a family member," adds the site. "While some may not view the loss of friendship as equivalent to more accepted forms of grief, your experience is valid. Permitting yourself time and space to heal is essential.”
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Sometimes you might think you've healed and moved on, only to be triggered by something that breaks your heart all over again. Birthdays, holidays, or even places could cause sadness. You should try plan ahead for those circumstances if you can. So that you're better able to manage your emotions.
If you ever feel like you can't cope, it's best to seek professional help from a therapist. Have you ever gone through a bad break-up with a bestie? What did you do to help you cope? Let us know in the comments.
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I took her for granted. I figured that she would always be there. I wasn’t taking care of myself and I didn’t see how that was impacting her. She left because of it. We were in love but we were also each other’s best friend. I wish I didn’t lose her but it’s taught me so much about myself that I’m glad she did it. I’m doing really well now. I wish things could have been different but I wouldn’t have learned any other way. The hard road is s****y but it can be the best way to grow as a person.
quitekid2
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F*ck that b!!!
She stopped talking to me because I confronted her about the ways she was abusing my friendship.
I let her move in with me because she said she was in dire straits with her husband, even though my house was already crowded. She moved in, and would just party every weekend.
She would try to win over my friends, by embarrassing me in front of them.
I could go on and on, I’m so happy she’s out of my life!!
a67344462
Sudden brain aneurysm at 42.
treelovingaytheist
She passed away aged 26.
Cancer's a b***h.
Edit: thanks everyone. My friend was the best person in the world. Was lucky to have her in my life even if that time was cut short. Sorry to anyone else who's had to deal with the loss of someone to cancer. Here's hoping that one day there will be a cure.
Also thanks for the silver. No idea what that actually means but appreciate it nevertheless (:.
Zirafa90
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I finally realised she'd been treating me like s**t for years and I deserved better.
ladymemeow3
I met him on Fortnite, then we found out we only lived an hour away from each other's houses. He was my best friend for 2 years, then sadly he died from a car accident involving a moose.
toesAnd_farts
She went through a terrible depression and processing severe trauma, and I didn't understand how to truly support her.
I hope to be in touch with her again so I can apologize. Completely lost contact.
assaulty
Multiple sclerosis.
wastingtoomuchthyme
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Her boyfriend hit on me quite aggressively and I told her and she didn't believe me until he did it to another one of her friends a few months later.
CuriousAbyss69
Got them a job at the place I worked for a long time. They made him a supervisor and it went to his head. Worst mistake I had made in a long time.
anon
Not me but my son. Him and his high school sweetheart broke up after 4 years together and his best friend immediately swooped in on the girl. Kinda a gut punch after my son had leaned on the best friend in times of trouble with the girl. Turned out he was simply setting up his own hustle. Then to top it all off, the now former best friend and former girlfriend went to work on the rest of the friend group to ice out my son. Damn teens can be cruel as hell. He’s got a great attitude about the whole mess though, he says “those were high school friends, on to better things”.
anon
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He married a girl who was a psychology major and she used that major to manipulate and control him. When they had a kid she was threatening him daily to take their daughter and leave forever if he so much as texted his friends. Its been about four years now and I miss the guy, but the poor sap made his decisions and I constantly wonder how miserable he is.
genericmovievillain
He became a conspiracy theorist. I called him out on the horse s**t and told me to "F**k off! I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you! I'M F****N' DONE WITH YOU!!".
PhatmanSlim93
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They became my girlfriend.
r1o2c3
Caught him sleeping with my girlfriend of 4 years.
hotstepper2
He drank himself to death two years ago this Friday. He was 35. I still think about him every day.
r0botdevil
I realized that I’m always the first one reaching out.. I stopped messaging them to see if they’d notice or try to reach out to me.. well it’s been two years.
lingerinthedoorway
He got married, and she doesn't allow him to hang out with anyone without her.
Troy-Swanson
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This was back when we where 13 or so
She wanted me to drop stuff I liked to do because it was to nerdy. Being involved with the scouts, reading, drawing all not cool apparently
We went to different high schools and she was embarrassed of me with her new friends.
I did not do that and I haven't seen her in years. We spend pretty much our whole childhood together.
SnowdropWorks
Every conversation and activity was them-centric. When I had a bad day, they would turn it to a story about themself; they wouldn't want to go for a hike but would goad me into paying $40 to see a (s****y) play; they had a crush on every opp-sex friend of ours and got upset if I hung out with the friends solo.
I told them a very gentle version of that after having been best friends for about 7 years and their reply was "Nope, I don't do that.".
strongerthongs
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I called her out on being shady. I had my suspicions. Still don’t know if I made the right decision.
Butterflynova
Best friend/ love of my life. She took her own life and left me, month before we had a miscarriage and it took a toll on her mental and her demons just got the best of her. Can’t wait to see her and my unborn child after this.
anon
He passed away in a car accident in 2019 right before his first college football game, the only best friend i truly had. i was about to travel to his school to see him play..then i got the call that he passed.
marrnextdoorr
One ghosted me. The person who I honestly thought I could be with forever (as friends) called me toxic and basically said I wasn't putting enough work into the friendship. I have a best friend again, but I freak out sometimes and worry about being clingy because I don't want to lose any more friends. Especially seeing as he is the only one I have left.
Lien417
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I called her out on spending only time with her boyfriend (we were around 20-22) or studying for school. Whenever we went somewhere her boyfriend back then had to join. If he didn't like those places (e.g. a bar) she simply wouldn't come either.
I told her I missed having some alone time with my best friend. Even if it was just 1h on a weekend.
Had stuff to talk about I didn't wanna share with her boyfriend as well.
Things got heated, we argued (over text) and then it was like a break up.
I still miss the friendship we had before boyfriends came into our lives.
KiviRinne
Well, we just stopped talking. I guess I was a toxic guy and took her for granted.
Honestly, she listened to everything I just said and I barely asked how she was. And the main problem was that it was covid times so no meeting. I mean even if it weren't covid, she lived in an entirely different city. But ya, she was an extroverted person and liked to talk. We just never talked on the phone cause I really felt uncomfortable calling anyone but my dad. But when she did call me, we would talk for hours like literally 1 or 2 hours. And I would just be a s**t guy and just never bother to ask how she is or if everything is fine I did but I would forget stuff. Once I learned from my mistakes, she just stopped talking to me.
She constantly tried to pull me out of my comfort zone and be the most therapeutic friend possible, Praising me for everything i did. And I am not gonna lie, the second part is more true than the first one.
I actually have a constant reminder of her on me so I will never forget her. I have this small fine scar on my right hand that, she accidentally scratched me with her long nail. I thought it would heal but I never thought it would leave a mark. It did. I guess in a way even she did.
Kyro_Sol
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