14 Darwin Award Winners Whose Days Are Numbered (If They’re Not Already Over)

Note: No one in this post died.

Have you ever seen someone do something very, very unintelligent and felt utterly shocked by how long they've lasted on this planet? Well, if you haven't, here are 14 people who are lucky to be alive:

1. The pushup:

2. The lobster:

3. The sip:

4. The hammer:

5. The leap:

6. The fireworks:

7. The oregano oil:

8. The truck rider:

9. The train:

Yes that is a man rolling around under a freight train.

10. The microwave:

11. The tattoo:

12. The hand sanitizer:

13. The phone case:

14. And finally, the chainsawers:

Move over, Chainsmokers!