Father loses fight with ex-wife over whether to bury or cremate son

A Christian father has lost a court fight with his ex-wife over whether the body of their teenage son should be buried or cremated.

Budding photographer Gabrielle Barbus, 17, of Hornchurch, east London, took his own life last December after struggling with mental health issues.

He has still not been laid to rest, after his religious father Stefan Barbus sued his mother Georgia Opritescu in a fundamental disagreement over 'what should happen to his body'.

Mr Barbus, a Roman Orthodox Christian, holds the belief that his son's 'soul' will be in peril and that he risks missing out on resurrection at the final judgment if he is not buried.

However, Ms Opritescu - who has no such beliefs and insists that Gabrielle didn't either - wanted his body to be cremated and his ashes scattered to 'return him to nature' in the Devon countryside that he loved.

Gabrielle's father obtained an injunction last month, preventing his mother 'from taking steps to dispose of Gabrielle's body'.

This week, the pair faced each other at the High Court, where Judge Jonathan Klein brought the 'heartbreaking case' to an end by handing victory to Ms Opritescu.

Ruling that Gabrielle's body - currently held by the coroner - should be cremated and the ashes scattered according to the wishes of his mother and older brother Antonio, the judge said the little information available pointed towards Gabrielle's own preference being cremation.

Giving evidence, Mr Barbus told the court: 'The reason why it is so important, the burial, is that he was baptised Christian orthodox.

'A burial respects the sanctity of the human body and soul and it is my belief that we will all one day be resurrected. That is why cremation is not acceptable as it destroys the body and is irreversible.'

But finding against him, the judge said his proposal reflected 'his own religious convictions, not those of Gabrielle'.

Ordering a cremation and scattering of ashes, the judge said Gabrielle had been closer to his mother and brother than his father, and that they were likely to be correct in their belief that 'interment of the ashes is inconsistent with his personality'.

'Mr Barbus, having fought for what he sees as Gabrielle's soul and lost...said that he didn't want to attend a scattering ceremony as that would be distressing for him,' said the judge.

'It may be that the ashes are scattered in a particular place in Devon that was special to Gabrielle. If that is the case, I can only hope that Mr Barbus can have a measure of comfort if he knows where that happens and can visit that place to mourn.'

During the trial of the case, the court heard that Mr Barbus and Ms Opritescu had split up in 2010, when Gabrielle was just two, and divorced in 2013.

Gabrielle, a talented up-and-coming photographer and keen goalkeeper who lived with his mother and family in Hornchurch, tragically took his own life on December 30 last year following mental health struggles.

James Poole, for Mr Barbus, told the judge that Gabrielle had been brought up by his mother after the couple split, but that Mr Barbus 'remained Gabrielle's father and involved in his life'. 

He added that his untimely death 'was and is devastating for all members of the family'.

'This is not a case where there is any clear indication of Gabrielle's wishes, such as instructions in a will or even diary entry,' he said.

'That is obviously not unusual. Many people do not set out their funerary wishes, especially 17-year-old boys.

'Mr Barbus wishes Gabrielle to be buried. Ms Opritescu wishes that he be cremated.

'Mr Barbus' wishes regarding burial are heartfelt and rooted in his orthodox Christian faith.

'It is hard to put into words the importance of this issue to him - to Mr Barbus, what is at stake is Gabrielle's soul.'

The barrister said that, as an alternative position if his request for burial were to fail, Mr Barbus' wish was that Gabrielle's ashes 'are interred so that there is a place where he and his family can visit...and light a candle'. 

But Ms Opritescu told the judge she wanted her son to be free and returned to nature by his ashes being scattered, not 'confined' in a coffin or an urn in the ground.

In the witness box, she told the judge: 'His father believes, but Gabrielle did not grow up in a religious household.

'My son Gabrielle and the life he lived would not want to be confined by the ground. It would upset me.

'I want him to be returned to the nature he loved, not confined.'

Her barrister, Tom Alkin, told the judge that she says that, during a conversation when he was aged 11 and revisited when he was a teenager, Gabrielle agreed that 'cremation was a healthier way of dealing with saying goodbye to a loved one.'

'The wishes of those closest to Gabrielle should carry more weight,' he added.

For his part, Gabrielle's older brother Antonio backed his mother, telling the judge: 'I want Gabrielle to be free - for his remains to be part of the whole world, the natural world that he loved.'

Giving his ruling, the judge said: 'This is my decision following the hearing of a heartbreaking claim.

'Tragically, Gabrielle took his own life on 30 December 20205. He was 17 years old.

'Mr Barbus and Ms Opritescu cannot agree on the arrangements for laying Gabrielle's body to rest. That is what I must decide.

'I don't doubt that all involved are heartbroken and grieving for Gabrielle and that their wishes and feelings are deeply held.

'When deciding how a body is disposed of, the court must make an evaluative judgment.

'Close family and friends may have had the sense of what the person may have wished and the person may also have wanted to be thought of well by them.

'Mr Barbus is a practising Christian of the Roman Orthodox faith. Gabrielle himself was baptised a Roman Orthodox Christian.

'Following the divorce, Mr Barbus was not involved in making life decisions for Gabrielle.

'He said [in evidence] 'I loved my son very much and my wishes are based on my faith...there is nothing more important to me than to know my son's soul may enter heaven and we may all one day be resurrected. 

'He said that in his heart he's never wanted a cremation, but that if he is cremated he wishes his ashes to be interred so that he has somewhere to go to light a candle. He said there would be nowhere to go if his ashes are scattered.

'Ms Opritescu and Gabrielle were close. Gabrielle did not have a religious upbringing.

'They went to Devon on two family holidays. Gabrielle had a very good time, particularly enjoying outdoor activities.

'Gabrielle indicated that cremation was a healthier way of saying goodbye to a loved one.

'Ms Opritescu said that interment wouldn't suit Gabrielle as a person. She said he wanted to be free and that if he were to be interred he would be confined and that would upset him.

'What Gabrielle said must be given significant weight because he gave some thought to it and expressed the same view over a period of time.

'It seems to me that Mr Barbus' proposal...in truth reflects his own religious convictions, not those of Gabrielle.

'I don't believe that a Christian faith was of more than peripheral importance to Gabrielle.

'There is evidence that while he respected the religious convictions of others, he was not observant.

'Gabrielle had a closer relationship with Mrs Opritescu than Mr Barbus. It is more likely that, because of the closeness of that relationship, he would have wished to honour Ms Opritescu's wishes. I have also placed weight on Antonio's preference for cremation.

'I have concluded that there should be a cremation in this case. The question of whether the ashes should be scattered or interred has been more difficult.'

The judge said he had heard evidence from Gabrielle's mother and brother that 'interment of the ashes is inconsistent with his personality'.

'Ms Opritescu is likely to be right that Gabrielle was somebody who wanted to be free,' he continued. 'Also she is likely to know what he would have wanted himself.'

The judge said that Mr Barbus, while planning to attend Gabrielle's funeral, had said he did not feel able to go and see his ashes scattered.

'Mr Barbus, having fought for what he sees as Gabrielle's soul and lost...said that he didn't want to attend a scattering ceremony as that would be distressing for him. 

'It may be that the ashes are scattered in a particular place in Devon that was special to Gabrielle. If that is the case I can only hope that Mr Barbus can have a measure of comfort if he knows where that happens and can visit that place to mourn.

'I cannot conclude this judgement without extending my own condolences to Gabrielle's family and friends for their very tragic loss,' the judge said.

The judge made no order in relation to the costs of the case.

In an online memorial, Antonio says of Gabrielle: 'My brother, Gabrielle, was a bright soul. He carried a gentle smile that warmed people; the kind of smile that made you feel like everything was okay.

'Gabrielle had a gift for photography; he noticed the tiny details others missed and saw the world with a perspective that was uniquely his.

'When he wasn't behind a lens, he was often found on the football pitch as a goalie - a natural protector who thrived under the pressure of the game.

'He also had a creative rhythm to him, spending time writing his own rhymes and singing them, finding words for things most people couldn't express.

'He was a son, a brother, a friend, and someone who mattered deeply to many.. But Gabrielle was struggling. And like so many people, he felt he had to hide it. He felt he had no way out.

'On the 30th of December 2025, at only 17 years old - he lost a battle with himself and took his life.

'This loss has sent a wave of shock through everyone who knew him. His friends, his classmates, and his loved ones are all carrying a heavy burden of grief and unanswered questions.

'Nobody should ever have to bury a child. And nobody should have to carry this kind of pain alone.

'When you lose someone like this, the grief is compounded by a silence that is hard to break.

'As a family, we've realised that the struggle isn't just the mental health itself, but the feeling that you have to protect everyone else from your pain.

'We believe that by talking about Gabrielle openly, and by providing his friends with the support they need right now, we can start to break that silence.

'Suicide is preventable, but only if we create a world where people feel safe enough to say they aren't okay.'