The grief never stops, neither does Aden's family's fight to save lives

Ian Nankervis still sends his son Aden text messages he'll never get to read.

Every Tuesday night, he takes the bins out and looks for the brightest star.

The grief is relentless, sometimes it comes in little waves, other times the swell is so big it knocks him flat.

"It is just gut-wrenching," Mr Nankervis said.

"When the pain hits you, when those feelings take your legs out from underneath you, you just wipe out."

November 7 will mark one year since Ian and his wife Nicole's 31-year-old son died by suicide at Strzelecki Lookout.

In the months since, they, and Aden's friend, Natalie Smith, have pushed for stronger safety measures so no other family has to experience such an earth-shattering loss.

A petition launched in the wake of Aden's death drew more than 2700 signatures, calling for an immediate site safety review, installation of permanent vehicle bollards, crisis support signage, CCTV cameras and emergency phones for early intervention.

City of Newcastle councillors backed a safety review in December last year.

While Lifeline crisis support signage has been installed at three entry points to the lookout, the Nankervises believe it needs to be much larger, in a more visible location and with more services listed to "stop someone in their tracks".

City of Newcastle has confirmed traffic-rated bollards will be installed at the lookout, with the work expected to be finished by January next year.

For the Nankervises, the lifesaving measures cannot come soon enough.

"The bottom line is we don't want anyone else to go through this, because it absolutely destroys your life," Mr Nankervis said.

"Just don't half-ass it, do it properly, because if it saves one life that saves hundreds of peoples' grief."

A City of Newcastle spokeswoman said the issue was difficult and complex, requiring a range of support and prevention measures across different agencies and organisations.

"The installation of the signage was supported by the Newcastle Community Services Inter-agency network, which includes City of Newcastle, NSW Health, Newcastle Police, Lifeline, One Door Mental Health, Lake Macquarie and Newcastle Suicide Prevention Network and other partners," she said.

"City of Newcastle has also recently completed a detailed survey of the site in conjunction with representatives from the Inter-agency network to determine other appropriate measures."

Newcastle MP Tim Crakanthorp tabled a petition on behalf of the community in August. In response, Minister for Local Government Ron Hoenig said he had limited powers to intervene in the day-to-day operations of individual councils.

"I regularly work with council to deliver upgrades for the Newcastle community and I would be happy to support them in funding requests they make to the NSW government for those upgrades," Mr Crakanthorp said.

Aden's friend, Natalie Smith, said she was grateful to see some meaningful action finally being taken.

"I'm hopeful about the planned installation of the vehicle bollards. A physical barrier can't solve the reasons someone may be experiencing a crisis, but it can create time and distance between a person and an irreversible decision," Ms Smith said.

"I obviously wish these measures had been in place before Aden died. But if they can help prevent other loved ones from experiencing what we have, then seeing them implemented gives me some hope that something positive can come from an incredibly painful loss.

"I think they're an important step in the right direction, but I don't think safety should ever be considered a finished conversation."

Ms Smith said she still hoped the council would consider other measures, including emergency help points and CCTV, as well as continued monitoring of whether the measures were effective and where safety could be improved.

"Pushing for these changes has given me something constructive to focus on," Ms Smith said.

"There is a helplessness that comes with losing someone in this way, knowing you can't go back and change what happened. Advocating for better safety measures has given me a way to turn some of that helplessness into action.

"More than anything, I hope people remember Aden for who he was, not for the circumstances of his death."

Campaigning to make the lookout safer has not dulled the Nankervises' grief, but it has helped them push through.

They want their son to be remembered not just in his loss, but for the kind, genuine man who saw people for who they really were and had so much love to give.

"The only photo that we've got of Aden that he's not smiling in is a passport photo," Mr Nankervis said.

"He was one in a billion, and I truly believe that this world is so much worse off for not having him in it, because he touched so many people."

Support is available for those who may be distressed.

• Phone Lifeline on 13 11 14 or text on 0477 131 114.
• Phone the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.