I licked my phone for 15 minutes a day to save my marriage
by Gilad Edelman · Australian Financial ReviewGilad Edelman
Mar 22, 2026 – 5.00am
For the past few months, in pursuit of better sleep, I have been setting aside 15 minutes a day to lick my phone. This is as undignified as it sounds. But then, nothing about snoring, or the bewildering range of real and sham treatments for it, is particularly dignified. With our slackened tongues and uncontrollable snorts, snorers are at our most annoying right when we’re at our most passive and vulnerable. Our spouses toss and turn while we drone on, until a strategically placed elbow, or our own snuffling, jolts us awake.
Breathing while sleeping should not be complicated. “I could do that in my sleep,” we say, of something easy. What’s easier than breathing? And yet, for many of us, the simple task of staying alive through the night is not straightforward. At least 25 per cent of adults snore regularly. The problem is more prevalent among men, which means that the closely related problem of wanting to murder one’s bed partner is more prevalent among women.
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