Undoing Aloneness: Transforming Suffering into Flourishing

Can we combat our epidemic of loneliness?

Reviewed by Lybi Ma

Key points

• Loneliness is in epidemic proportions in the US, with over half of adults suffering.
• The quest in AEDP, a pioneering form of therapy, is to "undo loneliness."
• Researcher Antonio Damasio believes that "we are organized to be better than fine."

Psychologist Diana Fosha has been described as a “prize fighter of intimacy,” which is an apt description of a clinician and theorist whose work profoundly addresses what the surgeon general has described as an epidemic of loneliness. Research shows that over half of American adults are suffering from loneliness.

At a trauma conference years ago, I took a day-long workshop with Fosha and psychologist Richard Schwartz, creator of internal family systems (IFS). I was training in IFS, which is one of the most effective forms of therapy I know. However, I also wanted to know more about Fosha’s work on accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy, which gets deep results quickly and effectively. Even better, follow-up studies show the effect is sustained. This is rare. I work, teach, and supervise at a large city hospital. Gone are the days when people had time, or money, for long-term therapy. We are all under pressure to create positive change in people’s lives.

In 2014, with several colleagues, we created a Center for Mindfulness and Compassion (CMC), the formation of which is detailed below. This year, we celebrate its 10^th anniversary. Fosha was an ideal speaker to help us celebrate this landmark year. There is a philosophical and theoretical dovetailing of the goals of CMC and the essays in the recent book “Undoing Aloneness and the Transformation of Suffering into Flourishing,” which is edited by Fosha.

Let me articulate some key points of AEDP and how it differs from the way many of us were trained.

• Healing, not psychopathology, is the point of departure. Fosha starts a session by looking for what she calls “glimmers” of health and well-being.
• The model is attachment-based. Rather than be a neutral, blank slate, the therapist is present and connected. Watching tapes of Fosha in action, I was impressed by the immediate and warm connection that she created, so the client immediately got the message that they were not alone and that someone really cared.
• The aim of AEDP seems to be both noble and deeply humanitarian, it is to “undo” aloneness and transform emotional suffering into flourishing. In many ways, this challenges what we thought we could achieve in treatment, and helps us re-think what is possible in therapy. It is a profoundly positive model. Philosopher and researcher Antonio Damasio believes that "we are organized to be better than fine."
• AEDP, unlike many other models, is grounded in empirical research, philosophy, and neuroscience, drawing on Bowlby, William James, Winnicott, Richard Davidson, and Barbara Fredrickson, as well as the great poets.
• This work is a masterful job of bringing together East and West, as well as to believe and in many cases “retrieve” the fundamental goodness of what Fosha and her colleagues call the “core self.”
• It is a form of therapy that we desperately need in these troubled times, with a message that we need to hear, “You are not alone.”