How Personality Impacts Friendship Building

New research shows the strategies we use to deepen our bonds.

Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

Key points

• Personality influences how we strengthen friendships, with agreeableness being the most impactful trait.
• Younger people strengthen friendships through frequent interaction and trust-building activities.
• Older people focus more on communication and offering practical support to maintain friendships.

Recent research published in Evolutionary Psychological Science explored the strategies people use to strengthen their friendships. In one of two studies, the first of which I write about here, the research found that people deepen their relationships through several key strategies: encouraging more frequent interaction (for example, doing activities together that the friend enjoys), giving thoughtful gifts based on their interests, creating family ties (for example, introducing them to partners or family), providing emotional support during difficult times, engaging in frequent communication (for example, calling more often), showing trust (for example, sharing personal information), and showing agreement (for example, doing favors for them that you wouldn’t normally do for others).

In the second study, researchers explored how age and personality traits affect the ways in which people try to strengthen their friendships. They surveyed 434 participants, asking them to rate 54 friendship-strengthening behaviors while also completing demographic information and a personality inventory based on the Big Five model. The goal was to determine which strategies were most common and how they were influenced by personal characteristics.

The Role of Personality in Strengthening Friendships

The Big Five Personality Inventory is a widely accepted model in psychology that categorizes human personality into five broad traits:

• Agreeableness refers to one’s tendency to be compassionate, cooperative, and empathetic toward others.
• Openness refers to one’s tendency to be open-minded, imaginative, and curious.
• Conscientiousness refers to one’s tendency toward organization, dependability, and attention to detail.
• Extraversion refers to one’s tendency to be outgoing, energetic, and sociable.
• Neuroticism refers to one’s emotional stability, with higher neuroticism associated with greater tendencies toward emotional volatility.

One of the key findings of the study is that personality has a significant impact on how people choose to deepen their friendships. Agreeableness was the most influential trait when it came to building and strengthening friendships. Those who scored high on agreeableness were more likely to provide support, show trust, and engage in frequent communication with their friends. Interestingly, no significant differences were found for those low on agreeableness.

Respondents who scored high in openness were more likely to offer emotional support, engage in meaningful conversations, and try new activities to strengthen their bonds.

A surprising finding was that extraversion, whether low or high, was not as closely linked to friendship-strengthening behaviors one might expect: In fact, people with lower extraversion were more likely to give gifts to strengthen their relationships.

Meanwhile, conscientiousness and neuroticism had minimal impact on friendship-building strategies.

How Age Influences Friendship Building

In addition to personality, age also affected how people approach their friendships. The study found that younger participants were more likely to use strategies that involved frequent interaction and building trust. For example, they were more likely to make time for their friends, plan shared activities, and engage in deep, personal conversations. This could be because younger individuals often have more time and flexibility to invest in friendships.

On the other hand, older participants were more likely to focus on communication and providing practical support. This might be because as people change, a change in priorities and busy schedules, such as balancing work, family, and other commitments, could change friendship values and needs.

The study also found that women were generally more likely to use a broader range of friendship-building strategies, including offering support, showing trust, and giving gifts. While all genders valued showing trust, women rated these strategies higher and were more proactive in using trust-building strategies to strengthen their friendships.

What Can We Learn From This Study?

Whether you naturally spend time strengthening friendships or feel like your relationships could use some improvement, this study provides valuable insights. Trying new approaches and thinking about how you can integrate these strategies can help you create more meaningful friendships.

With loneliness on the rise, understanding how our personalities and stages of life impact our friendships can help us become more intentional about valuing and deepening the connections we value.