A Journey Through Grief and Reports of After-Death Communication

A Personal Perspective: Discover the story of J.P. and his life-changing encounter.

Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

Key points

• An individual named J.P. reported a life-changing encounter with the ghost of his deceased mother.
• Between 25% and 60% of mourners experience some form of communication with their deceased loved ones.
• Of those who experienced after-death communication, 61% expressed a desire to maintain an ongoing connection.

'I saw the ghost of my deceased mother last night.' That's what J.P., a 42-year-old close friend, tearfully told me a few months ago. J.P. was only 10 when his mother passed away after being in a coma for two months, following a tragic car accident.

The loss of his mother shattered J.P.'s world. He lost his faith in God and was left confused and scared. Why would God do this to him? To his mom? If there was a heaven, was she there? Or had she simply ceased to exist?

He was angry—not just because he had to grow up without his mother but also because his life was no longer 'normal': he had to see a therapist during school, and the other kids wouldn't understand. People would tell him to pray; but how could he pray to the same God who took his mother away? For over 30 years, J.P. longed for any sign that would bring him comfort about the unanswered questions surrounding his mom's death, but he never received one. Not until that night.

It was around 2:30 a.m. J.P. woke from a deep sleep, lying on his bed, facing the door. When he opened his eyes, he says, there she was, his mother. He says that she was standing next to his bed and looked just as he remembered. Her long red hair was flowing down, exactly as she had when she would tuck him in as a child, giving him the impression she had never left. It wasn't bright nor dark, his eyes didn't need to adjust, and he could see her clearly, almost like she was somehow illuminated.

Then she said, 'Wait, don’t leave.' (At the time, J.P. had been thinking about moving out of the house he was living in, and making such a decision was emotionally overwhelming. His mom's message was telling him to wait a little longer before deciding to leave his current home, he says.) He then sat up, confused trying to understand everything. But as he did, the hum of the fan filled the room—a noise he hadn't noticed while his mother was there. Then she was gone. J.P. remained there, sitting on his bed, for a long time crying with a mix of joy and sorrow.

Around 5:30 a.m. the next morning, when J.P. got up for work, he went to open his bedroom door and, to his surprise, found it unlocked. He distinctly remembered locking it when he went to bed, to prevent his roommate's child from wandering in. J.P. never locks his door, but having to handle an energetic child was something he felt he couldn't handle the previous night. But now it was unlocked. The small detail felt like further confirmation to him that something truly extraordinary had happened.

For J.P., this experience changed everything. For the first time in over 30 years, he felt an answer, a relief that his mother was still with him, guiding him. To him, this experience confirmed that she hadn't vanished when she died—that somehow, she was still around after she passed away. And though he wasn't particularly afraid of death before, this encounter reassured him that death is not something to fear. It's a passage, not an end.

Unfortunately, for J.P., one such transformative moment remains a closely guarded secret, and he hesitates to share it with those closest to him, including his childhood best friend, father, and sister. This reluctance stems from a deep-seated fear of being misunderstood or dismissed. J.P. panics at the thought that his family might not take him seriously; he worries that his friend would reduce his profound experience to a mere fantasy, labeling it as 'just a dream.'

But J.P., let me tell you something: although you may feel alone, your story is not unique. Research indicates that 25% to 60% of mourners worldwide report some form of after-death communication. In the United States, approximately half of the population has documented such experiences, with 44% occurring within the last year.¹ Those who have encountered these communications often find them profoundly impactful: 40% reported an expedited recovery, while 43% stated that these interactions significantly improved their grieving process.² Additionally, 47% reported that these communications facilitated their acceptance of loss without exacerbating their pain, and a notable 61% expressed a desire for continued connection.²

J.P.'s story reminds us that experiences that defy physicality, like visions of apparitions from the deceased, often bring more than just momentary comfort—they can lead to a lasting shift in how we see life and death. So, as we continue to explore these extraordinary human experiences, let's open our minds to possibility. And, most importantly, let's create space for these stories to be shared, because they may just hold the answers we've been searching for.