MAFS star reveals what filming the show is really like with emotional admission

Shona Manderson has opened up about her time as a contestant on Married at First Sight and says she was even more aware of being on camera due to the 'testing environment'

Married At First Sight star Shona Manderson's has made an emotional admission about what filming was really like on the show, and why she felt so much guilt from the "testing" environment.

The newest season of MAFS has kicked off and is already full of drama from the newlyweds, and Shona has recalled her time on the show last year as she was paired up with her husband Brad Skelly. The pair only lasted a number of weeks before sensationally being asked to leave the experiment as Brad was accused of exhibiting 'controlling' and 'manipulative' behaviour while on the show.

Now Shona has moved on and settled down with another former groom from the show, she reflects on how she dealt with the unwavering "guilt" she felt during the process.

As contestants are constantly filmed, Shona said she had to prioritise her own mental well-being with downtime, due to the intense environment she found herself in. Revealing that all contestants only have one day off a week from filming, Shona explained: "In my personal journey on MAFS I was only there for three weeks. I had quite a lot of downtime because of the situation that I was in, so there were a lot of times when we were filming and then they would say, 'Oh, no, we're not going to film it today because of the situation.

"Which meant I had time to go to the gym, but also there was a lot of time we had to wait for a welfare person to be able to come to the gym with you. So you had your freedom, but it was never on your own schedule."

Shona revealed that she struggled with guilt after being sent home due to speaking out about what had happened while on the show. She shared how having therapy had "massively helped" and said if she was ever put in the same situation again, she would know exactly how to deal with it.

"I felt a lot of guilt when I spoke about what had happened. That was why we got sent home, and I was so worried at first. And now, like, when I've removed myself and I've gone through that journey, that was 100% the right thing to do. Speaking out and having therapy massively helped," she said.

The former bride said she was aware she was always on camera, and said this was heightened by being in a "testing environment" with someone she didn't know well at all. Shona struggled with "controlling and coercive" behaviours from Brad, which led to the couple being asked to leave by the show's relationship experts.

In a statement from the show, it was agreed alongside experts Paul, Mel and Charlene that the intensive Married at First Sight environment was not working for the couple and it was the right time to leave the experiment.

"As a result of the challenging situation I was in, I was still conscious that the cameras were on," she added and said she was also aware his family and friends would also be watching.

"[I] didn't want to confront him in a way that would out him for what he was. It can be difficult if you're having an argument with someone in front of the crew, but then you think, 'Oh god, what will everyone watching think?'"

She says she has now been focusing on self-development, self-love and self-worth. "I went on the biggest self-love journey of my life, which is so good. It's a journey that I'm going to continue to be on forever. You're going to keep riding the wave of how you view yourself, and if that situation ever comes my way again, that I just know how to deal with it. And it's not something that's within me. It's them."

Brad took to Instagram to share a lengthy statement defending himself shortly after the show and said the person he is being made out to be is not who he is. He said: "If you're with someone you're not clicking with there's frustrations and things come to the surface and I hold myself completely responsible. I take full responsibility for my actions, all the time for everything I do in life I take full responsibility but it's things leading up to certain situations.

"There's comments about me being narcissistic, a bully and things like that and that's really not who I am. Everyone that knows me physically can tell you I'm not that person the painting is developing to be - but I'm getting that's what shown.

"It doesn't disregard my actions being what they've been but everything I'm doing is with the intention to help - there's never any malice at all. I'm not a controlling person at all - anybody who knows me personally knows I don't have one controlling bone in my body. When I've said Shona 'you're allowed to feel' that's not me giving permission that's my terminology saying: 'You're a human being you're allowed to feel every emotion the universe gives you'. I can see how that's come across, there's just a lot of crossed wires."

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