Jimmy Fallon: With Trump in Town, New York Is ‘a Lot More Florida’

The “Tonight Show” host quipped about the former president’s rally in Long Island on Wednesday.

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Hard to Be Humble

Former President Donald Trump held a campaign rally on Long Island on Wednesday.

“Yeah, tonight the rest of the country found out New York is a lot more Florida than you think,” Jimmy Fallon said.

“Organizers said that there were 60,000 online ticket requests. It turns out Rudy Giuliani just passed out with his head on the keyboard.” — JIMMY FALLON


“But the rally at Nassau Coliseum was historic. The last time a president appeared at the Coliseum was when President Biden fought the lions in Rome.” — JIMMY FALLON


“At a Trump campaign rally last night, Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders said that her kids keep her humble and added, ‘Unfortunately, Kamala Harris doesn’t have anything to keep her humble.’ Though I’m not sure the math checks out there, because doesn’t Trump have, like, five?” — SETH MEYERS


“Everyone knows if you don’t have biological kids, you can’t be humble. It’s like that famous Ernest Hemingway story, ‘For Sale: Baby Shoes. Didn’t Need ’Em Cuz I’m a Playa!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (Poll Position Edition)

“According to a new poll, Vice President Kamala Harris has a 6-point lead over former President Trump following last week’s debate. And if you think that’s a big lead, then you just don’t follow New York football.” — SETH MEYERS

“That same poll found that 61 percent of likely voters believe Harris won the debate, which seems low to me, but it seemed very high to Trump, who posted last night, ‘Finally everyone is agreeing that I won the debate with Kamala. It was like a delayed reaction, but as one political pundit said, Trump is still the GOAT.’ He thinks his caddy at Mar-a-Lago counts as a political pundit.” — JIMMY KIMMEL


“According to a new poll, young people are nervous about the 2024 election. Oh, my God, am I young?” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Jimmy Kimmel dug out footage of Jon Hamm rapping in his high school production of “Godspell” for the actor’s appearance on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night

Demi Lovato will discuss her new documentary, “Child Star,” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”

Also, Check This Out

“American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez” delves into the saga of the pro football player who murdered his friend less than a year after playing in the Super Bowl.