There Are No Bad Meetings

"Bad meetings" may just be symptoms of a broken workplace culture.

Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

Key points

• To improve meetings, intention matters much more than the latest meeting hack.
• Feedback, collaboration, and connection are three meeting purposes to explore.
• Shared purpose eases pressure on leaders, inviting teams to co-create a “good meeting.”

No amount of meeting hacks can fix a workplace culture that lacks intention and care for its people. When we focus on the latest meeting hack or tweaks to meeting structure (icebreakers, anyone?), we overlook the core issue. Think about it: Have you ever had a bad meeting that was just about meeting format or when the agenda was sent out? Likely something deeper was at play. Let’s stop blaming meetings and start reflecting on the values that create these soul-sucking gatherings.

The Power of Meetings

In my 15 years in government, I’ve attended and led countless meetings—including the absurdist meetings to plan future meetings. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I’ve come to realize that meetings are, as organizational expert Priya Parker puts it, “culture carriers.” They’re not just about dividing up tasks; if you care about workplace culture, you need to care about meetings.

The Limits of Meeting Advice

There’s no shortage of books on how to run effective meetings—Death by Meeting and The Surprising Science of Meetings come to mind. And, yes, I recognize the thick irony in offering salvation from bad meetings myself. But here’s what most advice misses: Techniques can’t fix cultural problems. Making space for input or revamping agendas mean nothing if leaders don’t genuinely care about the people in the room. A meeting that ends on time but leaves people feeling unheard is still a bad meeting.

Simple Ways to Improve Meetings

There are no simple ways to improve meetings.

The Real Way to Improve Meetings: Intention

In her book The Art of Gathering, Priya Parker emphasizes that successful meetings are driven by intention, not by polished techniques. It all starts with defining a purpose that resonates with everyone, whether it’s fostering connection, gathering meaningful feedback, or encouraging collaboration. So, ask yourself: What is my purpose for using people’s precious time to meet? What can we accomplish together that we couldn’t achieve alone?

When you’re clear on these answers, decisions about structure become easier. For example, techniques like "Rose, Bud, Thorn" or one-word check-ins can be powerful for surfacing concerns, but only if an intention is to surface participants’ feelings. Similarly, sending agendas in advance can helpfully give team members a chance to prepare. But this is pointless if a decision has already been made.

Intention creates shared responsibility. When meetings are rooted in a clear purpose, the pressure on leaders to get every detail perfect softens. Flawless facilitation or rigid agendas matter less because participants feel invested. They recognize that a “good meeting” is a collective accomplishment, not a burden for the leader alone to bear.

Why We Meet

Let’s explore three people-centered intentions: feedback, collaboration, and connection.

1. Feedback: Learning in Real Time. Meetings can gather feedback to help make smarter decisions. But feedback falls flat when leaders are defensive or dismissive. A recent all-hands meeting I attended used a fancy anonymous feedback tool. As we all used our phones to provide suggestions, it seemed open and inclusive, but uncomfortable comments were skimmed over and there was no follow-up, leaving me disillusioned.

Here's a rule: Only ask questions if you truly care about the answers. As poet Mark Nepo says, listening is about “a willingness to be changed by what you hear.” If you are indeed open to feedback, even a meeting without an agenda, terrifying as it sounds, or using stone-age Post-It notes can lead to meaningful conversations and leave participants feeling connected, even when the ultimate decision doesn't please everyone.

2. Collaboration: 1+1=3. Meetings can tap into the collective brainpower of a group—but that doesn’t happen on its own. Take routine updates: Sharing information is important, but people talking at each other doesn’t yield collaboration.

I learned this the hard way while running a weekly coordination meeting. I did most of the talking, telling myself this would be more efficient. But all it did was set a passive tone. The round-robin updates were robotic, and my invitation for questions at the end was greeted with crickets.

What worked better was setting an interactive tone from the start—bringing in other voices early, pausing to ask a follow-up question about accomplishments, and encouraging people to build on ideas. When meetings are designed to get everyone involved, they can.

3. Connection: We Need Each Other. Whether it’s celebrating success or learning about team members’ unique gifts, meetings can foster trust and a sense of belonging. This is vital for high-performing and resilient teams: As psychologist Gabor Maté observed, “Psychological safety isn’t the absence of threat, it’s the presence of connection.”

But connection must be genuine, not an afterthought. True appreciation, for example, is specific and personal—not a generic "Thanks for everything." Icebreakers are fine, but insincerity is easy to spot, and instead of connecting teams, it breeds eye rolls. Quick test: Have you ever followed up on an icebreaker answer after the meeting to show you genuinely listened and cared?

An Agenda Item on Agendas

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “No agenda, no attenda.” But here’s my take: Shared purpose eats agendas for breakfast.

Recently, I nearly canceled a virtual meeting because there weren’t any pressing agenda items. Instead, I decided to reframe it as an optional time to connect. To my surprise, nearly everyone showed up, and the conversation flowed effortlessly. We talked about everything from book clubs to Dungeons & Dragons, and some of the quieter team members were the most animated. There was no formal agenda but a clear purpose: to connect as people—and it worked.

The takeaway? In today’s hybrid work era, where spontaneous water cooler chats are rare, we need more meetings designed to build genuine relationships, not just tick off action items. Here's something to explore: A colleague recently told me about her team’s “doughnuts” meetings, where the only rule is to not discuss work.

Meetings People Want to Attend

Meetings are sacred. Yes, our time is valuable, but in an era of social isolation, they offer powerful opportunities to connect and achieve what we can’t alone. We’ve all endured bad meetings—provocative article titles aside—but the real problem lies in workplace culture, not the meetings themselves. With a people-centered purpose, we might even—gasp—find ourselves looking forward to our next meeting.