How to Deal With Politics During the Holidays

Six strategies help you protect yourself and loved ones from political debacles.

Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

Key points

• Political discussions can escalate quickly and become destructive.
• Three boundaries help you protect your holiday event from disastrous political discussions.
• Three strategies can protect you from problematic family members who want to instigate political discussions.

This year, loved ones may be struggling, so it is important to know how to preserve the peace and protect everyone’s mental health, including your own. As a host, setting three boundaries may help, and as a guest, having three tools to deal with problematic conversations may be the best gift you can give yourself this season.

As a host, gently establish the ground rules early on:

1. As you are inviting people, kindly let them know that a political discussion or comments are off-limits this year. Encourage them to have these discussions privately and outside of your home.
2. While talking to people about what dish to bring, give them permission to ignore a political comment, if one is made, and encourage them to casually redirect the conversation to a less polarizing subject. For example, “Lisa, you never told me about your trip to Hawaii. How was it?”
3. Provide a safe retreat for people if a loved one cannot help themselves and a discussion escalates. For instance, set up your front porch with space heaters, refreshments, and seating.

If you are a guest in someone else’s home, three tips may help you handle a family member who brings up politics:

1. It is essential to recognize that, at this point, the chances of you changing a loved one’s mind, even with the most brilliant rebuttal, are slim. It may be smart to save your energy and peace.
2. Stay calm, ignore the comment, and change the subject. You may have to be the “adult” in this conversation because a problematic family member often wishes to provoke you if you have a different political view, so do not give them the satisfaction. Remain composed and redirect the conversation.
3. Prepare several exit strategies for the event. That way, if a family member says something political, you can pretend that you did not hear the comment and excuse yourself.

For example:

• “I need to go check on the kids… they are being way too quiet…”
• “I forgot my dessert in the car. Be right back!”
• “I’m going to run to the restroom before dinner starts.”
• “I need to check on the potatoes.”
• “Dan looks like he needs help in the kitchen, hold that thought.”

The holidays are about connecting with loved ones. This year may be difficult for many, so it may be best to avoid any political topic that disconnects and divides people. You may want to save those political discussions and comments for a one-on-one discussion after the holiday event.