Shadchanim Back Down From Proposed Fee for Unsuccessful Dates
Days after proposing a “pay per date” model to compensate shadchanim for meetings that did not lead to engagement, the group released a letter following public backlash.
by COLlive Reporter · COLliveBy COLlive reporter
A group of Israeli shadchanim has withdrawn its proposal to introduce compensation for meetings that do not result in engagement, after public reaction prompted renewed discussion around the idea.
In a new letter released after widespread attention to the original proposal, the signatories said their intention had not been to change the existing payment structure immediately but to raise awareness of the challenges facing today’s shidduch system.
The original proposal suggested introducing a payment of up to 100 shekels for meetings that did not lead to a completed shidduch, while keeping traditional shadchanus compensation in place for successful matches.
Supporters argued that the model reflected the significant time, coordination, and ongoing involvement required to arrange dates, including those that do not result in engagement.
In their follow-up letter, the organizers wrote that their goal had been to present what they described as the current reality in the shidduch world and to encourage public discussion of the issue.
They added that, after hearing the public’s reactions and concerns, they had decided not to implement payment for unsuccessful dates and would continue with the current arrangement.
“At this stage, no payment will be collected for meetings that did not lead to a shidduch,” the letter stated.
The group said the conversation highlighted the need for broader attention to challenges within the shidduch system while reaffirming their commitment to helping establish Jewish homes in Israel through cooperation, responsibility, and ongoing partnership.
The reversal quickly brought an end, at least for now, to what had become a closely watched debate over whether compensation models in the shidduch world should evolve alongside changing dating patterns.
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