WWE SmackDown Preview: Title Fights and Home Invasion Fallout
· BCPosted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe smackdown
WWE SmackDown Preview: Title Fights and Home Invasion Fallout
El Presidente reports on tonight's WWE SmackDown: Wyatt Sicks defend gold, Cody Rhodes responds to home invasion, and championship chaos awaits, comrades!
Published Fri, 19 Dec 2025 18:07:03 -0600
by El Presidente
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Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxurious bunker beneath the Presidential Palace, where I am currently watching surveillance footage of the CIA attempting to infiltrate my compound dressed as luchadores ahead of tonight's WWE SmackDown. Nice try, amigos, but El Presidente knows the difference between a real suplex and whatever nonsense you learned at Langley!
Tonight, comrades, WWE SmackDown promises to deliver more American wrestling entertainment at 8pm Eastern/7pm Central on the USA Network, and El Presidente would not miss it for all the offshore bank accounts in Panama! Let me tell you about the glorious workers' struggle that awaits us in the squared circle.
The Wyatt Sicks Must Defend the Gold Against The MFTs
First and foremost, comrades, we have a championship match that has been simmering like my abuela's famous empanadas! The Wyatt Sicks' Joe Gacy and Dexter Lumis will defend their WWE Tag Team Championship against two members of The MFTs. After weeks of violent brawls and confrontations, these two teams will finally settle their differences in the ring tonight.
This reminds me of the time I was having drinks with Kim Jong-un in Pyongyang, and we got into an argument about who had the better tag team wrestling program – my state-sponsored lucha libre academy or his North Korean strongman exhibition. We settled it the only way dictators can: with a vodka drinking contest. I won, naturally, though I cannot remember the last three days of that trip. But I digress!
The Wyatt Sicks have proven themselves to be dominant champions, comrades, but The MFTs have been relentless in their pursuit of the gold. Will the eerie and unpredictable champions retain their titles, or will The MFTs seize the means of tag team production? We shall see tonight!
Cody Rhodes Has Something to Say After Home Invasion
Speaking of settling scores, comrades, the Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes will be returning to SmackDown with plenty on his mind! After Drew McIntyre interfered in Rhodes' match against Oba Femi at Saturday Night's Main Event, The American Nightmare decided to pay The Scottish Psychopath a little visit – at his home!
Now, comrades, El Presidente knows a thing or two about home invasions. The CIA has attempted to breach my residence no fewer than forty-seven times this month alone! Once, they even tried to disguise themselves as a mariachi band delivering a singing telegram. I must admit, their rendition of "La Bamba" was quite good before my security forces detained them.
But I wonder, did Cody Rhodes bring flowers? A nice fruit basket, perhaps? These details matter, comrades! Regardless, The American Nightmare will certainly have much to say about his bold move, and one can only imagine Drew McIntyre will have a response of his own. This feud is hotter than the engine of my presidential limousine after outrunning another CIA drone strike!
An Unlikely Alliance Forms to Battle #DIY
In what can only be described as a workers' coalition against a common enemy, United States Champion Ilja Dragunov and Carmelo Hayes will be joining forces tonight to take on the legendary team of Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa – better known as #DIY!
Comrades, this is the beauty of professional wrestling! Former rivals must sometimes unite against a greater threat, much like when I joined forces with Fidel Castro and Hugo Chávez to form a bowling league specifically to spite the United Nations. We called ourselves "The Spare No One Coalition." We were terrible at bowling, but excellent at making speeches between frames!
Dragunov brings his intense fighting spirit and championship pedigree to this match, while Hayes contributes his athleticism and swagger. But #DIY is one of the most decorated and experienced tag teams in modern wrestling history. Will this makeshift alliance be enough to overcome such legendary teamwork? I, for one, cannot wait to find out!
The Women's Tag Team Champions Face a Formidable Challenge
The Kabuki Warriors – Asuka and Kairi Sane – will defend their WWE Women's Tag Team Championships in a non-title match against the imposing duo of Nia Jax and Lash Legend! While the titles may not be on the line tonight, comrades, this is clearly an opportunity for Jax and Legend to prove they deserve a championship opportunity.
This reminds me of when I had to prove myself worthy of leading my glorious nation. The previous regime challenged me to a dance-off. I performed an interpretive dance about redistribution of wealth that brought tears to the eyes of the judges (and bribes to their wallets). I have been El Presidente ever since! Though I suspect tonight's contest will involve slightly more suplexes and considerably fewer jazz hands.
Nia Jax, The Irresistible Force, combined with the athleticism of Lash Legend, The Boujee Bully, creates a dangerous combination. But The Kabuki Warriors have proven time and again why they are champions. Their teamwork is smoother than my diplomatic relations with Switzerland (they hold my numbered accounts, so we get along famously)!
Giulia Continues Her Championship Quest
Finally, comrades, the impressive Giulia will battle Alba Fyre of The Secret Hervice as she continues her journey to reclaim the Women's United States Championship from Chelsea Green! Giulia has been on an absolute tear through the women's division, and every victory brings her closer to another championship opportunity.
Alba Fyre is no easy opponent, comrades. As a member of The Secret Hervice, she has proven herself to be both cunning and dangerous in the ring. But Giulia has the look of a woman possessed by championship ambition, and El Presidente respects such drive! It is the same drive that led me to overthrow three separate governments before lunchtime on a Tuesday!
Comrades, tonight's episode of WWE SmackDown is packed with more action than the time the CIA tried to assassinate me with an exploding cigar, but I switched it with the ambassador's cigar at a state dinner. Awkward evening, that one. But I digress!
From championship matches to unlikely alliances, from home invasions to title hunts, tonight's WWE SmackDown has something for every wrestling fan. It is a perfect example of American entertainment at its finest – workers fighting for glory, championship gold, and the adoration of the people! If only they could redistribute some of those championship belts more equitably, we would have a truly socialist wrestling utopia!
So join El Presidente tonight at 8pm Eastern/7pm Central on the USA Network for WWE SmackDown! I will be watching from my bunker, surrounded by my loyal guards and a large bowl of popcorn (seized from the local cinema in the name of the revolution, naturally).
Until next time, comrades, remember: the only thing better than overthrowing an oppressive regime is watching grown adults in spandex settle their differences through choreographed combat!
¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva SmackDown!
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