What’s It Like to Have a Real Life Vampire Kink?

Blood Play

Some people like being kissed on the neck—while others need just a bit more than that. If you learned about vampires through pop culture, odds are that you understand the appeal. Although a sparkling eternal high schooler is a far cry from the blood-drinking entities that were described in the folklore in the early 18th century, vampires have remained a figure of interest since their inception. But for some people, this so-called “interest” is a little more intense. In fact, it may even be a kink.

Having a vampire kink is real, but it may not mean exactly what you think—mostly because it could encompass so many different things. A vampire kink is a sexual preference in the themes, acts, or aesthetics related to vampires. You may be wondering: Does this mean being sexually into blood... or more of wanting your boyfriend to wear fangs in bed? Well, yes and yes.

“You can have a blood fetish with absolutely no interest in vampires, and you can be obsessed with vampire erotica without ever wanting blood involved in your sex life,” board-certified sexologist Lilith Foxx tells Cosmopolitan. “But there's certainly a lot of shared territory, especially when it comes to the themes of power, vulnerability, and desire.”

Blood play includes any and all consensual sexual activities or even fantasies about blood. Now, for someone who’s afraid of blood (me), this might be hard to understand, but Foxx explains that there’s different aspects to this.

“There's the sensory component, of course, but there's also the taboo of it all,” she says. “For someone who's drawn to darker or more intense forms of erotic expression, that element of transgression might be a huge part of the attraction. Other people connect with the vulnerability or the ritualistic aspects.”

This could potentially look like drawing blood during sex, or even drinking it.

Hematolagnia—the sexual arousal connected to blood itself—is a subset of blood play. This can include an attraction to the sight or smell of blood, the physical sensations associated with it, or even the psychological intensity of the experience. And sometimes, yes, this includes the desire to “feed off” of your partner or vice versa.

“If you look at it through a BDSM lens, the imagery of consuming or being consumed ties into some really interesting dynamics around surrender, possession, and desire,” Foxx says.

But this is a pretty intense and dangerous form of kink. It’s important to know the potential risks that could come along with it like blood borne infections, excessive bleeding, and skin infections. Foxx describes that exposure to blood creates opportunities for transmitting infections, including hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and HIV. There's also the potential for injury and other complications.

But blood play doesn’t really need to include real blood at all.

“Not everyone interested in blood play actually wants real blood involved,” she explains. “There are plenty of ways to explore those fantasies through role play and special effects.”

Biting

Now, I’ve always been a fan of a little hickey. And if I break down why, it has less to do with the physical act and more to do with the idea of someone I’m attracted to leaving behind little proof that they were there.

And even when you’re not leaving a mark and you’re just biting someone, it can be a source of desire for some.

Foxx explains that a biting kink is pretty straightforward—it’s when you find biting or being bitten sexually arousing. This could be a gentle nip on the shoulder or something much more intense. “For some people, it's about the physical sensation, while others enjoy the power dynamics, vulnerability, or even the idea of being marked by a partner,” she says.

If you’re someone who’s intrigued by the fantasy of vampires, you might be surprised to learn that biting is a fun way to bring the fantasy to life—especially if blood is a no-go for you.

“You can play with the imagery of being bitten or ‘claimed’ while keeping things relatively tame,” Foxx says. Like with blood play, just remember to try and stay safe as possible. This means having a conversation with a partner beforehand about what pressure is okay and when a bite turns from erotic to just painful.

Vampire Role-Play

And of course, there is the totally blood-free option of a vampire kink: Role playing as Damon Salvatore (sorry, I think he’s way hotter than Edward Cullen). But I also understand if you’re into the kinds of vampires that don’t even have abs.

“Vampires are basically walking metaphors for forbidden desire,” Foxx explains. “They're seductive, dangerous, powerful, and often completely consumed by their hunger for someone else. That's a lot of material to work with from a kink perspective.”

There’s a reason fantasy and smut go so hand-in-hand. The idea of a presumedly evil supernatural being wanting you despite it going against their very nature—that’s hot, okay?

So if you’re into the idea of sleeping with a “vampire” sans the blood, you can still take part in your own version of a vampire kink. Turn the lights out, get some fake fangs, and maybe just keep it to kisses on the neck. And remember, there are other things besides blood you can suck.