How to Have a Blended Orgasm, According to Sex Experts

What Is a Blended Orgasm?

Just when you thought you had a pretty solid grasp on orgasms, allow us to introduce you to the blended orgasm. And if your immediate reaction is, Wait, what exactly are we blending here? Fair question.

If you’ve heard people talk about blended orgasms as some combination of clitoral and vaginal pleasure, you might assume it’s another sexual milestone you’re somehow supposed to be achieving. Not so fast. “The name can be a bit misleading,” says Rachel Needle, PsyD, sex expert at Mila and co-founding director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. “Blended makes it sound like there are two completely separate kinds of orgasms being mixed together, and our anatomy isn’t quite that neat or simple.”

That doesn’t mean there’s nothing to explore here, though. Combining different kinds of stimulation can feel pretty damn good, and for some people, it can lead to orgasms that feel different from what they’re used to. So, what actually makes an orgasm “blended”? What does one feel like? And if you want to try having a blended orgasm yourself, where do you even start? Let’s get into it.

A blended orgasm generally refers to an orgasm that happens while more than one erogenous zone is being stimulated at the same time. Most often, we’re talking about external clitoral stimulation combined with internal vaginal stimulation, though that’s not the only possible combo.

The important thing to know is that “blended orgasm” is more of a useful description than its own distinct biological category. The clitoris is much larger than the part you can see externally, with internal structures that extend into the pelvic area, and the anatomy involved in clitoral and vaginal pleasure is more interconnected than those labels might suggest. As Angie Rowntree, board-certified sexologist and founder of Sssh.com, puts it, rather than thinking of clitoral, vaginal, and blended orgasms as completely separate biological events, “it may be more useful to think of them as different roads that can lead to the same very pleasurable destination.”

As for what a blended orgasm actually feels like? Some people describe orgasms involving internal stimulation as feeling deeper or broader, while clitoral orgasms may feel more focused or concentrated. Combining the two can feel especially intense for some people—but you also might not notice a huge difference. Bodies are annoyingly resistant to giving us one universal answer about basically anything sex-related.

How to Have a Blended Orgasm

The good news is that you don’t need to learn an entirely new way to have sex or follow some complicated orgasm formula. There’s no single technique that guarantees a blended orgasm, but there are a few ways to make exploring one a whole lot easier. Here’s where to start:

Start With What You Know Feels Good

Trying for a blended orgasm is not the time to suddenly abandon everything you already know gets you off. If you know exactly what kind of clitoral stimulation you like—maybe it’s a certain vibrator, pressure, rhythm, or something your partner does particularly well—start there.

Needle recommends giving yourself time to get fully aroused before adding something new. From there, you can layer in internal vaginal stimulation with fingers, a toy, or penetration and see how your body responds. And if adding something actually makes things feel less good? You have our full permission to go right back to what was working.

Add Another Kind of Stimulation

While clitoral stimulation plus vaginal penetration is probably the combo you’ll hear about most when people talk about blended orgasms, it’s not the only option. “You could combine clitoral and vaginal stimulation, vaginal and anal, clitoral and anal…or even nipple and clitoral stimulation,” says Rowntree.

Basically, pick another erogenous zone that feels good to you and experiment with stimulating both at the same time. After all, the goal here is to layer sensations you enjoy, not simply see how many body parts you can involve at once.

Let a Toy Do Some of the Work

Look, stimulating multiple places at once can require a level of coordination you may not particularly feel like bringing to bed. Fortunately, you can outsource some of the work to a sex toy.

Needle suggests letting a toy handle one type of stimulation while you or your partner handles the other. You could use an external vibrator on your clitoris while adding internal stimulation with fingers, another toy, or partnered penetration, or try a rabbit-style or other dual-stimulation vibrator designed to do both at once. During partnered sex, a wearable vibrator can also add clitoral stimulation without requiring anyone to grow an extra hand.

Whatever setup you try, don’t assume more power automatically equals more pleasure. Experiment with different settings, pressure, and angles, and once you find something that feels good, you have absolutely no obligation to switch it up.

Give Yourself Time—and Stop Trying So Hard

A blended orgasm might involve more stimulation, but that doesn’t mean you need to rush into doing all of it at once. Give yourself plenty of time to get turned on, use lube to keep things comfortable, and add or adjust sensations as you go. Stress, distraction, and putting too much pressure on yourself to orgasm can all make it harder to stay present in what actually feels good.

You can also experiment on your own first if that feels easier. Masturbating gives you complete control over the speed, pressure, and intensity of each sensation, which can help you figure out what works without also having to direct another person.

Most importantly, don’t turn having a blended orgasm into the entire point of the experience. Needle recommends focusing on arousal, connection, and sensation rather than measuring the experience by whether you actually have one. The goal is to give yourself more ways to feel good, not another sexual achievement to stress about.

Are Blended Orgasms Better Than Other Orgasms?

Nope. A blended orgasm isn’t automatically stronger, more satisfying, or somehow more advanced than any other kind of orgasm. Some people find them more intense, while others don’t notice much of a difference at all. And even for the same person, one orgasm can feel completely different from the next.

And FWIW: not everyone will experience a blended orgasm, either. Anatomy, sensitivity, arousal, hormones, medications, stress, and plenty of other factors can affect how your body responds to different kinds of stimulation. None of that means you’re doing anything wrong—or that you’re missing some superior version of pleasure.

As Rowntree puts it, “There’s no gold medal for how you get there. All orgasms are valid.”