How to Have a Quickie That’s Actually Hot, According to Sex Experts

Quickies sound pretty self-explanatory, right? Sex, but make it fast! Except anyone who’s ever tried to squeeze something sexy into the 15 minutes before you have to leave for dinner, jump on a Zoom, or pick up the kids knows there’s a difference between sex that’s intentionally quick and sex that just feels rushed.

Because while the appeal of a quickie is kind of the whole we need to do this right now thing, you still want whatever time you have to actually feel good. And despite what every frantic movie sex scene would have you believe, that doesn’t necessarily mean racing toward an orgasm while simultaneously trying to get your pants back on.

Quickies can be spontaneous, planned, or simply a way to take advantage of a rare window when you both happen to be very into each other but very short on time. And they don’t have to be some lesser version of “real” sex, either. Angie Rowntree, a board-certified sexologist and founder of Sssh.com, calls quickies “another valid expression of your intimate life that you’re actively nurturing together.”

So, how do you make a short window of time feel hot and satisfying instead of just... less? Turns out, having really good quick sex isn’t about doing everything faster; it’s about knowing what’s actually worth doing when the clock is ticking.

What Actually Counts as a Quickie?

There’s no official time limit that turns regular sex into a quickie at minute 14:59. “A quickie doesn’t need a stopwatch,” says Estef Palacios, Svakom’s resident sex expert. “It might last five minutes or fifteen; what makes it a quickie is that ‘we’ve got a little time and we really want each other’ feeling. It should be brief because that’s what you’re both in the mood for, not because you’re trying to break a record.”

In other words, what feels quick to you might not feel quick to someone else. A quickie is really just an intentionally brief sexual encounter, whether you spontaneously realize you have ten minutes to yourselves or literally put it on the calendar. And it doesn’t need to involve penetration or end in an orgasm to count. The point is taking advantage of whatever time you do have for something that feels good together.

How to Have a Really Good Quickie

The secret to a good quickie isn’t figuring out how to cram everything you’d normally do during sex into a much smaller window. If anything, it’s the opposite: Skip the stuff that takes time, lean into what you already know gets you both going, and take a little pressure off what you think sex is “supposed” to look like. Here’s how.

Start Before You Start

Just because the sex itself is going to be quick doesn’t mean your arousal has to be. If you know you’ll have a little time together later, start building anticipation beforehand. “Flirty texts, suggestive compliments, anticipation, and knowing a quickie is coming can give arousal a head start, especially for people whose desire is more responsive than spontaneous,” says Courtney Boyer, resident sex educator at pjur.

That head start can be especially helpful when you’re trying to switch gears from whatever decidedly unsexy thing you were doing five minutes earlier. As Palacios puts it, “Sometimes the best part of a quickie starts hours earlier: a fantasy, a suggestive message or simply five minutes to step out of ‘emails, groceries and laundry’ mode.” Basically, the quickie might only last ten minutes, but you’re allowed to get horny for it way before the clock starts.

Stick With What You Know Works

A quickie is probably not the time to test-drive an elaborate new position or spend seven of your ten available minutes figuring out where everyone’s limbs are supposed to go. Instead, prioritize the kinds of stimulation you already know reliably feel good.

“A quickie isn’t the time to start searching for the treasure map: go straight to what you already know you love,” Palacios says. “If clitoral stimulation feels good, give it a starring role from the start.” That might mean using your hands, grabbing a toy, or skipping parts of your usual routine that simply aren’t doing much for you. You have limited time, so spend it on the good stuff.

Say What You Want

You don’t have time to drop hints and hope your partner eventually figures out what you want, so a quickie is a great time to be very fucking clear. And that doesn’t require stopping everything for a lengthy discussion. “A simple ‘like that,’ ‘slower’ or ‘don’t stop’ can change everything,” Palacios says. “You can guide your partner’s hand, too, while paying attention to their response.”

So say what feels good, redirect when something doesn’t, and don’t waste half your quickie politely waiting for your partner to stumble onto the thing you actually want.

Don't Race to Orgasm

Nothing will make a quickie feel rushed faster than staring down the clock and thinking, Okay, one or both of us needs to come in the next four minutes. Orgasm can absolutely be the goal if that’s what you want, but it doesn’t have to be The Thing that determines whether the sex was “successful.”

“I think we first have to move beyond the idea that every sexual encounter must occur within one uninterrupted block of time and end with an orgasm,” says sex therapist Caleb Jacobson, PsyD, PhD. “Who says sex can't have an intermission?” A quickie can be the whole event, or it can basically be a very hot “to be continued.” Either way, taking orgasm off a mandatory deadline lets you focus on what feels good instead of trying to beat the clock.

Keep the Logistics Easy

The less time you have, the less of it you want to spend digging through a bedside drawer for lube or realizing the condoms are in the other room. Keep whatever you might need—lube, barriers, a favorite sex toy, something for cleanup—somewhere easy to grab so you can focus on the actual fun part.

Lube can be especially helpful during a quickie because, as Jacobson explains, your body “may not have had as much time to become physically aroused, even when the person is mentally very turned on.” Just make sure whatever lube you use is compatible with your condoms, barriers, or toys.

And finally, spontaneity is hot; accidentally involving the general public is not. Make sure wherever you’re getting it on is actually private, safe, and appropriate. As Jacobson puts it, “No unsuspecting person should become an involuntary participant in someone else’s sex life.” Quick can be impulsive. It doesn’t have to be careless.

What Are the Best Sex Positions for a Quickie?

The best quickie positions are the ones that require minimal setup and reliably feel good for you. “If it takes longer to get into the position than you have available for sex, it is probably not the right choice,” Jacobson says. In other words, now is probably not the time to attempt that Cirque du Soleil move you saved on Instagram six months ago.

If penetration is on the agenda, standing sex or having one partner sit on the edge of a bed or another convenient surface can keep things relatively simple. But penetration certainly isn’t required. Mutual masturbation, oral sex, using your hands, or bringing in a favorite toy can all work well for a quickie, too. Ultimately, go with whatever requires the least amount of fucking around and gets you to something you already know you enjoy.

How to Keep Quickies From Feeling Like Rushed Sex

There’s an important difference between having a quickie because you’re both excited to take advantage of the ten minutes you have and rushing through sex because it feels like another thing you need to check off your to-do list. “The purpose of incorporating quickies should not be to make sex more efficient,” Jacobson says. “It should be to create another way for partners to be playful, spontaneous, and sexually connected.”

And spontaneous doesn’t have to mean completely unplanned, either. You can schedule a quickie, switch up who initiates, or let a few stolen minutes serve as an opening act for whatever you want to do later. But if quickies consistently mean one person’s pleasure gets sidelined or they’re replacing the slower sex one of you actually wants, it’s worth talking about. The point is to have sex quickly because that sounds hot—not because you’re trying to get sex over with.