How to tell if your Gen Z family are using AI to write their messages

Boomer: Fancy watching an episode of MasterChef together?

Gen Z: ‘Hey… I’m noticing I don’t quite have the capacity for TV right now, but I really appreciate you thinking of me.’

The capacity for TV? The whole point is it requires zero brainpower.

‘I need some low-stimulation time to regulate, but I’d love to reconnect when I’m feeling a bit more resourced.’

You’re not back on the self-help books, are you?

NGL*, I asked ChatGPT how to politely refuse your invitation.

You asked a robot how to say ‘no thanks’?

It’s called emotional outsourcing. Apparently, almost 50 per cent of Gen Zs use ChatGPT to write difficult messages for them.

Whatever happened to asking your friend over a drink in the pub?!

According to tech site Futurism, we’d rather ‘socially offload’ hard conversations to AI to ‘overcompensate’ for our stunted communication skills.

Hard conversations? I was asking if you wanted to watch MasterChef, not negotiate with the Iranians.

You’d be surprised what people use it for. A survey by dating app Wingmate has found that 41 per cent of young adults have used AI to write a breakup message.

Tosh! In my day you at least had the decency to dump someone face to face. Or if you were a real coward, via a Post-it note, like Berger did to Carrie in Sex And The City.

One Yale student used ChatGPT to reject a girl his friends set him up with. Futurism says the ‘ensuing text was six paragraphs long and chockful of ChatGPTisms’.

Six paragraphs? That’s not a rejection, that’s a dissertation.

‘While I’d love to hang out more – whether it’s just as friends or whatever it was we were this weekend – I’m not looking for anything too serious right now.’

That’s the best it could come up with? It’s hardly Shakespeare!

It’s less ‘wishy-washy’ than what he could have come up with alone.

It’s entirely wishy-washy! The bloke can’t even define his own weekend. Anyway, what’s wrong with my old classic: ‘This isn’t going to work. Best of luck.’

IMO* that’s way too harsh. ChatGPT’s all about respectful uncoupling.

What does that look like?

‘This isn’t easy to say, and it’s not something I take lightly – but I’ve realised that this just isn’t right for me any more. You’ve been important to me and I truly care about you – but I think it’s best if we go our separate ways.’

So sterile!

But you can adapt it to better suit the person. What’s the most specific reason you ever broke up with someone?

I once had to dump a boyfriend when I found out he ran a Bros fan club…

OK, you should have tried this: ‘I don’t think I can emotionally compete with When Will I Be Famous? on a daily basis. No hard feelings – just maybe take a day off from Bros. Or don’t. That’s entirely your journey.’

OK, that’s quite good actually. If I recall rightly, I told him to get a life and slammed the door of his Fiesta.

It’s great for conflict resolution, too. One TikToker shared that she uploads any disagreement she has with her partner, and ChatGPT tells them who’s wrong.

Relationship counselling by computer? You might as well stand and argue with that silly Alexa speaker.

FR*, ChatGPT’s really compassionate. One TikTok with 30,000 likes says: ‘There’s literally never been a better time to go through a breakup because now you have an assistant with you 24/7.’

An assistant?! When your Aunt Maureen’s marriage ended, her assistant was a bottle of Blue Nun.

Your tone is so aggy*. It’s probs because of you Boomers and your short tempers that Gen Zs prefer talking to AI than real humans.

Right, that’s it. I’m watching MasterChef. Alone. Using my own brain and my own words.

Want me to ask ChatGPT how you should apologise for being so harsh?

Get out.

*NGL Not gonna lie. 

*IMO In my opinion. 

*FR For real. 

*Aggy Aggressive