'I had no idea I had ADHD until I spotted symptoms in my son': Teesside mum on her shock diagnosis

A Stockton woman has shared how her life was transformed after being diagnosed with ADHD in her 30s. She had no idea she had the condition until she noticed similar signs in her son.

The diagnosis, which came two years ago, brought a huge relief to 33-year-old Lauren Taylor. ADHD is believed to affect around 2.6 million people in the UK, but Lauren only became aware of it when she saw the symptoms in her eight-year-old son, Elijah.

His symptoms began to manifest when he was about 18 months old. Signs of ADHD in children can include difficulty concentrating and focusing, hyperactivity and impulsiveness.

Lauren described Elijah to our sister website Teesside Live: "He is such a lovely intelligent boy. He is popular, funny and silly. He does face some struggles at home and at school due to the ADHD symptoms, but we have worked with the school and local charities for support and adjustments for him.

As Elijah grows older, Lauren says she's noticing more signs of burnout. She reveals that both she and Elijah share similar coping mechanisms. They find weighted blankets calming and sometimes use headphones or earbuds in loud or busy places. Fidget and sensory toys also help with concentration. Lauren uses these at work while Elijah has access to them at school.

Lauren, who has been waiting for an ADHD assessment since 2021 due to the lengthy NHS waiting lists, recognised symptoms of the condition within herself while researching it for her son. She secured an assessment in 2022 and said: "It wasn't until I was filling out the referral form when he was five that I had even considered I could have ADHD."

She reflected on her own school experience: "As a child I did not display exactly the same behaviours Elijah did. But I felt the same frustrations in school. My reports were generally good but often mentioned that I needed to stop chatting to my peers and distracting them.

"Sometimes they would mention I would be distracted often. I am prone to talk too much and am very impulsive. I will pick up a new hobby every month and give up the following month."

To get her diagnosis, Lauren recalled: "In order to get my diagnosis, I needed someone who knew me well to complete a form about me. I asked a work friend to do this, who was also one of my managers. It seemed appropriate as he was well aware of my habits, since I would spend a lot of my time procrastinating sat at his desk chatting about random things. One of the answers he put made me laugh 'Lauren can concentrate very intensely for short periods of time but will appear visibly in pain'."

Lauren found herself overwhelmed with responsibilities after moving up to team leader, but her previous issues with organisation became more evident. "This is when it all really clicked for me. I had gone from answering calls and being supported by my team leader, to having to be responsible for my own team. I had to manage my own time, arrange and plan coaching and spin multiple plates. I knew I was more than capable, but I felt like I was drowning."

Her discovery of ADHD's profound influence on her work came after reviewing a past referral for the condition she made for someone else. "Research from British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) annual Mindometer survey of over 2,600 therapists finds academic or work performance is the area of life that ADHD has the greatest impact according to two thirds (67%) of therapists. Yet, I didn't know why I was finding it so difficult. Then I looked back at the ADHD referral I did for Elijah, and it clicked," Lauren shared.

Now Lauren champions BACP's new initiative designed to shed light on how therapy can assist individuals in grappling with the emotional challenges following an ADHD diagnosis and the consequences of masking the symptoms. Lauren has developed strategies to conceal her traits, a process known as masking, in order to blend in at work and in social situations.

To manage her impulse to talk, she deliberately refrains from speaking up in meetings and constantly wonders when it's the right moment to contribute. "I feel like the cleaners at work are fed up with me as on any given day there will be several unfinished cups of tea left brewing on the side of the canteen where I have started to make one and got sidetracked and forgotten about it."

Lauren is open with her team about her work style, informing them that verbal requests often slip her mind. Instead, she asks them to send her emails or written reminders.

A considerate colleague once anticipated her needs by writing a post-it note with a request, knowing she'd need a visual reminder. Lauren has also created her own organisational tools, such as trackers and planners, to help her stay focused.

However, Lauren's greatest concern is that her ADHD might impact her ability to be a good mother. "I have always struggled with organisation, and keeping on top of things like kids' parties can be tricky. I have forgotten to RSVP and left it too late before which made me feel so guilty as my daughter was disappointed. My ex-husband and I now work together using a shared calendar app to keep on top of this."

"I struggle to get everyone ready to go out to places and find myself getting overwhelmed if we are running late because of this and can end up being snappy and grumpy. I get burnout and am really sensitive to noise. I want people to understand that ADHD isn't a fad or a trend. It just manifests in different ways so often people have missed it. Children with ADHD aren't always just naughty or badly behaved. Sometimes they just require more understanding and adjustments."

"Living with ADHD can be tough. I feel like my brain never really ever switches off, but therapy has been really helpful in allowing me to accept myself with my ADHD. I have been able to drop my mask a lot more and be more 'me'. My focus is now on trying to support Elijah as he gets older.

"I have found it quite difficult recently but I will be taking a role with less responsibility soon and I may look to go part time so I am hoping I will have more space in my busy brain to focus on what is important,' she concluded.