How the odd after-market CD player in my mom’s old car helped me deal with the grief of losing her — and why I can’t sell it now (even though I should)

Music is always the best therapy

by · TechRadar

Features By Becky Scarrott Published 27 July 2026

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If someone tells you a song is important to them, you should listen to it carefully. Because afterwards, you'll know them better. If they share a song with you, treat it with the kind of care and respect you'd give to a treasured photo or keepsake. It's a window into their very private world. And it is all we really have, in the end.

I knew the songs that were truly important to my mom: Eric Clapton (well, Derek and the Dominos) and Layla; Cream's Strange Brew; Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young's Sanibel (which I can never ever listen to without crying, ever again); Hendrix's Are You Experienced?; Jethro Tull's Aqualung and so many more that were on heavy rotation in the car, whenever she'd drive me to ballet class as a child.

And I knew the musicians she respected: Janis Joplin, Prince ("He's a better musician than anyone gives him credit for, Becky"), The Hollies, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Bowie, Rod Stewart, The Police, Genesis, Springsteen, The Eagles, Fela Kuti (my parents actually met in Nigeria, but that's another story)… it's a long list.

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What I didn't know was that my mom had since learned to love Sam Fender, Lewis Capaldi, The Weeknd, Bruno Mars and Ed Sheeran. I only know this because she'd bought their CDs from thrift stores. I even now know a couple of the volunteers from said thrift stores. They worked out who I was from my name, when I went to donate a few things (it's so hard to let anything go when someone dies) and they asked after her.

It turns out that they used to put certain CDs aside, ready for when she came in. And apparently she always bought whatever they recommended — my mom was a kind, giving and inquisitive person.

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(Image credit: Future)

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I also didn't know my mom had an extra cupboard stuffed solely with CDs. The entire back catalogs of The Beatles, Jackson Browne and Jethro Tull weren't a surprise, but Wu-Tang Clan's 1993 epic Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) was likely a thrift store revelation — I can even see she paid £2 for it — and I love that for her.

I should explain: my mom and I were very close. We also lost my beautiful younger sister in 2021 after an illness (not helped by that whole pandemic thing) which made us cling to each other even more. But I lived and worked in London; she lived a three-hour drive away. Distance is annoying.

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