Exeter man plans incredible tribute to wife who died of cruel disease

A tourist hotspot will become a sea of purple

Part of one of Exeter's tourist hotspots will soon be a sea of purple for a heart-breaking reason. A man is planting thousands of flowers on the Cathedral Green as a tribute to his wife who died of a cruel disease earlier this year.

Graham Charles says he has been granted permission by the Dean and Chapter of Exeter Cathedral to plant thousands of crocus bulbs under a chestnut tree on the green, to pay tribute to his late wife Kate de Brett.

Kate, a former nurse at the Royal Devon & Exeter Hospital, died in January at the age of 70, less than a year after she was diagnosed with motor neurone disease (MND). She leaves behind her husband, son, two grandchildren and two of her surviving siblings.

MND causes gradual weakening of the brain and nerves, which can impact speech, grip, movement, swallowing and breathing and eventually leads to death. Currently, there is no cure.

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Graham says Kate was initially diagnosed with asthma and later caught covid-19 towards the end of 2022. She was diagnosed with MND in February 2023 and her husband says it significantly impacted her daily life, including taking away her ability to walk unaided and carry out her favourite hobby, which was sewing.

He said: "Her hobby, her passion was quilting. She made loads of quilts and was in lots of competitions and appeared in magazines. She was a very talented lady.

"It was diagnosed in February 2023 but we suspect it was present before that. She had been diagnosed with asthma and the she caught covid in winter 2022. We suspect she had that cruel disease before it became apparent that it was something more than just asthma.

"She was able to walk but not very far and not unaided in the beginning but she became more reliant on the scooter, a walking frame around the house, a stairlift and we had a bathroom conversion. We would have paid for it if we were asked but it was all done for free and we're very grateful to Exeter City Council for what they did for us.

"She had a carpel tunnel compression in her dominant sewing hand so she couldn't pick up a needle and thread and do her favourite hobby."

As the condition progressed, Kate continued to deteriorate. Graham says trying to keep her energy up was like "trying to heat a house with all the windows open". But despite the bleak situation, he says his wife was "stoic and heroic" all the way up until she died peacefully at home.

He said: "The speech started to go. She was more and more reliant on a BiPAP machine for assisted breathing. It was at night initially but she eventually became 99 per cent reliant on it.

"She couldn't swallow very easily so she had to have special food and fortified drinks to try and boost her calorie input. It's like trying to heat a house with all the windows open.

"It was really tough for me to deal with but I can say there were very few moments when she showed signs of 'why me?' She wasn't that sort of person. She kept her feelings to herself. Knowing what the end would be, she was stoic and heroic.

"I was there at the end. It was just her and me in the living room. She just leaned her head back, closed her eyes and that was that. You couldn't wish for a more peaceful passing."

Graham now wants to raise awareness of the condition and fundraise for the Motor Neurone Disease Association (MNDA), in the hopes of improving treatment or even finding a cure. He says he chose to plant crocuses as purple was his wife's favourite colour. He will plant the bulbs on October 29, with the help of Exeter Rotary Club.

He said: "Thousands of people have to deal with a similar situation. I knew that the MNDA needed funds for research, finding treatment or a cure. I don't run, I haven't got a bike, I hate water, I'm not jumping out of aeroplanes or shaving my hair off but there is one thing I can do and that's plant a few bulbs.

"Purple was Kate's favourite colour and I figured they would be coming into flower around the time of her passing, which was January 23, 2024.

"On the Cathedral Green, there is one chestnut tree and the area underneath is roped off. Our plan is to plant them under that tree. Exeter Rotary Club already had plans to plant their own bulbs so I said they're more than welcome to join me."

Graham has set up a JustGiving page, where people can contribute to the fundraising efforts. It can be found here.