“The Nurse Just Shrugged And Said, ‘You’ll Figure It Out‘”– Parents Are Sharing The Harsh Realities Of Having Kids
by Benjamin Dzialdowski · BuzzFeedRecently, shivendra-in asked r/AskReddit, "Parents, what's one reality about having kids that nobody properly warned you about?" So we thought we'd share some of the top responses.
1. "That it doesn't matter if you get sick. You still have to get up and take care of another person. And that ain't no one sleeping for a while."
"The worst part of it for me is that they are the ones that got you sick, but by the time you’re sick, they’re not all snuggly and wanting to watch movies anymore… They’re back to 100% energy, READY TO RAGE, LET’S GO TO THE PARK!!!!!"
"Our entire household got COVID at the same time! The toddler recovered after TWO days. Hubby and I were sick for two weeks... That was fun. No sleeping in, no naps, no rest whatsoever. We had a tiny human who needed us."
2. "No amount of prepping can truly prepare you."
"100% agree. Facing struggles on a day-to-day basis, like ‘where are your shoes?’ or ‘what do you mean the bathroom handle just broke off? ’One time, my son pulled out a drawer, rummaged through, closed it with force, and somehow managed to close the door behind him in a way that the drawer pushed out enough to block the door. I had to literally saw a small part of the door off to get the drawer shut enough to be able to get back into the room. I mean, I couldn't recreate that if I tried."
3. "I was 35, spent a decade babysitting babies, and had a stable job, income, and house. The first day home, I went for a walk with my baby and had a full meltdown, wondering why anyone thought that I could possibly be left in charge of a whole kid. Just a monumental shift to have a kid living with you under your full-time care."
"My best friend had this same reaction when she had her son. Discharge day, they were handing her giant stacks of instructions on how to care for her C-section incision, but for the baby? Nothing. She finally lifted up her son and was like, ‘Okay, but what do I do with him???’ And the nurse just shrugged and said, ‘You’ll figure it out.’"
4. "Even if you have one kid that’s super easy and chill and you think, ‘Kids are easy,’ the next one you have could cause chaos every moment they’re awake. The differences in personalities are so different, it’s insane."
5. "How unbelievably crushing it is when things aren’t going well for them. All you want for them is happiness and fulfilment, and when there are problems, it hits you in a way I’ve never felt before."
6. "Silence is always highly suspicious."
7. "I don’t think I’ll ever feel ‘rested’ again. There’s so much to do, so much to remember, so much to manage. Even as my kids get older and sleep gets more consistent, there are endless to-do lists, worries, and challenges."
8. "Before kids: You make the plan, you get the stuff, you execute the plan, things go more or less as planned. After kids: You make the plan, you start getting the stuff, your kid throws up, the plan is already off the rails, you wing it and try to recover what you can of the plan, etc. And you can read this and understand it intellectually, but you will still not understand it until you are in it. It's like living your life as a victim in a prank show."
9. "There are a million decisions you have to make every day, and you don't know which ones will impact the rest of their lives."
10. "How much it would change the dynamics of my marriage."
"Like, one moment I would look at him fumbling while trying too hard to braid our little girl’s hair and be all, ‘Oh, how sweet, I so married the right man,’ and then he turns around and buys the wrong type of wet wipes and I want to scratch his damn eyeballs out. Then he offers to take the kids out so I can have a break, and I’m like, ‘Damn, I am a massive bitch.’
It’s confusing."
11. "For society and friends, you are a mother now. That means your pain and problems don’t exist for them as long as the baby is fine. It’s kind of dissolving into smoke as a person, and no one sees you anymore. Didn’t expect that, I can tell you."
12. "In some situations, like at the paediatrician’s office, people will just call you ‘Mum’ like you’re their mum instead of saying your name."
13. "Don’t get comfortable because you’re gonna have to stand up in a second here."
14. "That you will spend the rest of your life waging an inner battle between helping them spread their wings and fly, and knowing always that if anything ever happens to them, it will destroy you forever."
15. "He does not stop talking."
16. "This is specific to newborns/babies. But nobody warned me about all the stuff that comes with them. We received so many things from our baby showers that we just never used or didn’t need. All that junk out there geared towards new parents to ‘simplify’ or ‘ease’ parenting babies really is not needed. Babies’ needs are fairly simple and don’t require ‘stuff.’"
17. "How frustrating it is when they ignore your advice, but take the exact same advice from another source. I literally have to plant articles and magazines or have others tell them the same thing to get them to consider it, lol."
18. "Toddlers don't understand physics, and it's a larger problem than you realise."
19. "Having kids is the closest thing to having a time machine. Watching them grow up unlocks a lot of memories from my childhood. It's also a lot of fun when they grow up with their own unique perspective on the world that you helped shape."
H/T to shivendra-in and r/AskReddit for having the discussion!
Anything to add? Let us know in the comments below!
Additional thumbnail credits: Paramount Pictures, 20th Century Fox, NBC