I'm Physically Unable To Go To Work Tomorrow Because Of How Hard I Laughed At These Hilarious Weekend Tweets
by Chelsea Stewart · BuzzFeedFor some reason, the best tweets always seem to happen on the weekend. Here are some funny ones that recently came across my timeline.
If you liked these tweets, make sure to give these users a follow for more funny content!
1.
Just cancelled my Uber eats pic.twitter.com/LInjAvC8h0
— a-b (@MarylStrep) October 3, 2024
FOX / Twitter: @MarylStrep
2.
"don't be like that"
me already like that: "like what" pic.twitter.com/BbdoK7XOkW
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) October 5, 2024
The Kardashians / Twitter: @invis4yo
3.
https://t.co/5khE7HM8qG pic.twitter.com/xbcVcyacBX
— mariah 🪬 (@_ssiieerra) October 5, 2024
4.
I hate hotel bath towels.
So thick and fluffy I can’t even close my suitcase!!
— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) October 4, 2024
5.
let me eat something before i start drinking pic.twitter.com/MB7rSwxXbJ
— omeo 𖤐 (@ihyomeo) October 4, 2024
6.
how it feels to be congested and have a headache pic.twitter.com/mBijLSqI7E
— chloe (@chloesfilm) October 5, 2024
C2 Motion Picture Group / Twitter: @chloesfilm
7.
Niggas eating deep fried treasure map https://t.co/6GjF1xYnqE
— Michael Christmas (@MickeyChristmas) October 6, 2024
8.
that muthafukka sniff seats.
— Tre James (@TiricoHairline) October 4, 2024
9.
If I ever post a man just know he paid for it and it’s an ad
— Hustlanani (@hustlanani) October 5, 2024
10.
They deadass walking around looking like this https://t.co/FO94Y3J7NE pic.twitter.com/Oct90QS1DD
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) October 5, 2024
11.
been telling my kids to STOP tackling each other on the couch for a fucking hour but they won't listen. Finally put my head in my hands out of exasperation, 5yo puts a hand on my shoulder, softly says "mommy it's ok. being a mom is hard" then turns and immediately body slams 3yo
— kourtney (@kourtneyinhell) October 4, 2024
12.
When you're starting the 4th day of your period and there's nothing when you wipe pic.twitter.com/tctlw4Wz3u
— Lady Rissaerya of House BK 🗽🇹🇹♎️ (@ISaidWTF_ISaid) October 4, 2024
Rohan Perry / Twitter: @ISaidWTF_ISaid
13.
Nurse: Step on the scale, please.
Me: I was told there'd be no fact checking.
— Irishrygirl (@irishrygirl) October 4, 2024
14.
having gay roommates is so unserious because i just texted mine that we have a LEAK and he asked if it was the brat remix album… NO BITCH THE WALLS ARE LITERALLY DETERIORATING pic.twitter.com/1MBBpcBFF6
— jimmy (@jimmysoldout) October 5, 2024
15.
promise rings are so cute, gonna get myself one and promise myself to stop being being dumb
— 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞 (@haniellesv) October 4, 2024
16.
Me thinking I was special to someone pic.twitter.com/soNUyOzO6x
— 𝒩. (@btchsdtm) October 5, 2024
Kylie Jenner / Twitter: @btchsdtm
17.
And October used to be cold pic.twitter.com/CtpDpwje2j
— Ariam #FreeTigray (@iambrattyb) October 6, 2024
FOX / Twitter: @iambrattyb
18.
me as a professor pic.twitter.com/5mUSBSugqj
— liyah (@liyahmag) October 4, 2024
19.
this lowkey being the movie https://t.co/SkcuiE9dDD
— Brooklyn (@bklynb4by) October 4, 2024
CBS / Twitter: @bklynb4by
20.
Nosebleed seats in the crib is crazy. https://t.co/CWXXrGSDKE
— Hub (@KenHeLive) October 6, 2024
21.
why my dad on facebook talking about “who daughter can i take out to eat” BITCH YOURS! I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN 7 YEARS
— hbk (@hbkraee) October 4, 2024
22.
birthdays after your mid 20s pic.twitter.com/xfhZhC0Cur
— trash jones (@jzux) October 5, 2024
23.
my son ordering a “well done” steak bc he thought it meant they would do a better job
— . (@NoEmmeG) October 4, 2024
24.
Me restarting the song because I blinked on my favorite part pic.twitter.com/2SxbQRzl4H
— 𝒩. (@btchsdtm) October 4, 2024
FOX / Twitter: @btchsdtm
25.
insane 30 paragraph dm request but this part made me laugh so hard pic.twitter.com/QBX3qWXhYz
— lala 🦠 (@ecto_fun) October 5, 2024
26.
Ariana taking a break from the wicked promo to be on Brat remix album pic.twitter.com/SrhkAmE0v4
— fab (@sugaboow) October 5, 2024
27.
He said I heard you bitches was looking for me, bitch here I go 🗣️ https://t.co/5MEVYROf7y
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) October 4, 2024
C-Span / Twitter: @notcapnamerica