Women reveal the instant red flags that make them think 'yeah, we're never gonna be friends'
by Andy Golder · BuzzFeedPosted 2 minutes ago
Reddit is full of threads asking people for their "red flags" about the opposite sex. But recently, in the r/askwomen subreddit, redditor Broad-Way1997 asked, "What are the red flags you notice in women as a woman?"
There were tons of responses from women sharing the signs that they were not going to be friends with a particular woman. Here are some of the most agreed-upon ones:
1.
"Some women like being the only woman in the room."
"Yup. At a previous company I worked at, there were 40 or so employees, maybe seven or so were female. One drunken night, a woman in the office told me how she hated it when I joined because she was 'the office girl' and that she felt this way about every woman who joined whom she considered pretty. She then seemed to expect me to feel the same way about new women that joined."
"What’s [wild] is the patriarchy is to blame for most of the negative traits in women AND men, such as this one. 😭"
2.
"Overly sweet, 'love u girl, omg,' 'I’m always here if you need me,' 'insert some bland exaggerated compliment here in a loud voice.' Hmm you don’t know me."
3.
"Always defending a man. Or saying things like, 'That’s just how men are.'"
4.
"Holding women to higher standards than men. They’ll shit on women for wanting to be taken care of in a relationship, having high standards, wearing makeup, getting plastic surgery, and insult them using misogynistic insults, while [ignoring] men who leech off of women and who also spew the same gross insults at them."
5.
"Too gossipy. Some is okay and even a little fun, but a woman who talks about everyone talks about you, too."
6.
"When a woman kind of tears apart or makes a slick comment about another woman being dolled up, especially if she herself doesn’t indulge in getting glam and prefers to be 'natural.' It always has an undertone of jealousy/hater."
7.
"The opposite is also true — 'Look at her, she's not even shaving her armpits.' Yeah, and what of it? Don't shame others for their choices in how to present themselves."
8.
"Women who KNOWINGLY pursue married men."
9.
"Believing that being the smaller one in the relationship means you can put your hands on [your partner] aggressively. It's still abusive. Yelling at them is abusive. Looking for ways to hurt your partner is abusive."
10.
"Men have this, too, but I've found it more common in women: They say they want someone who can hold a conversation, but what they really mean is they want *you* to hold the conversation and let them talk about themselves."
11.
"Weird possessiveness over platonic male friends. The 'I don't want to date him, but I don't want other women to date him either' energy usually means she's a 'pick me.' If she's flirty with a guy around other women but is in a relationship or has openly expressed that she's not interested, it's a red flag."
12.
"Women who feel the need to compete with other women. It's one thing if it's a friendly competition or motivation. It's weird to become competitive with someone who has no idea that there is a competition."
13.
"Any woman who says that drama always follows her, or who says some variant of 'I tell it like it is!' tends to be a woman who never really left high school."
14.
"Toxic positivity. If I have a bad idea, I'm making unwise decisions, or I'm at fault, it's best if I'm told. I don't think we should blindly support each other in every action."
15.
"Women who police other women's appearance (bodies, clothes) or sexuality. The world is big enough for all of us. I don't think there's any need to be going around trying to put other people down."
16.
"Never want to hang out, do breakfast, brunch, or anything like that, but call when they need something."
17.
"Not sure if this seems petty, but women who don’t have a diverse friend group. No fat friends? No person of color? Girl groups that all look the same scare me, lol."
18.
"Self-proclamations: 'high value,' 'princess,' 'I don't take public transit,' 'goddess.'
And cringe identities: 'boy mom,' 'girlboss,' 'waglife,' or whatever."
19.
"Older women who hate younger women and younger women who diss older women and use their age as an insult. I believe we are in a sisterhood and have so much to learn from one another! I am 28, about to be 29, so I am entering a stage where I am no longer extremely young but not wise like 40-year-olds and up, and I’ve made it my goal to protect younger women and learn from older women."
Some entries have been edited for length or clarity.