This Is What Bartenders Think Of You Based On Your Go-To Drink, And I Fear Some Of Us Have Been Called Out
by Angelica Martinez · BuzzFeedA hot minute ago, I asked the bartenders of the BuzzFeed Community to share the assumptions they make about people based on their drink orders. They, uhh, certainly did not hold back. So, here are 24 stereotypes about people who order these popular drinks, straight from the mouths (or, I guess, fingers?) of bartenders:
Note: Submissions have also been pulled from this similar Reddit thread.
1. Jack and Coke
"You’ll be fighting someone in a few hours."
"The cocktail equivalent of a Budweiser. It signifies that you haven’t really grown out of childhood yet but still want something that will go down faster and harder than a beer. Bonus points for trashiness if it's the $5 drink special that night."
2. Moscow Mule
"There’s a 75% chance you’re about to bitch about it not being in a copper mug. And if it is in one, you will likely try to steal it."
"You're a millennial."
3. Gin and Tonic
"They will talk your ear off whether you like it or not, and after four drinks, will take someone inappropriate home."
"On average, they are pleasant and have good taste but they do tend to cry when they've had too many."
"Gin and tonic drinkers are virtually always over the age of 50, and if they want well gin, there's a good chance they're cheap tippers."
4. Guinness
"You're Irish and/or an old man, no in between."
"Nothing bad to say here. Guinness is fucking awesome and for people who generally know what they want and how to have a good time."
5. Pina Colada
"You care more about flavor than image. Also, you want to be in the Caribbean."
6. Tequila
"I'm looking to get fucked up as fast as possible. Also, I'm loud."
"Ordering a tequila shot usually means you don't work tomorrow."
7. Vodka Red Bull
"Ordering a Vodka Red Bull means I'll have to keep an eye on you throughout the night because you're about to act drunk *and* high."
"Ordering this tells me, 'I want to make a lot of dumb decisions quickly.'"
—midasvictim
"Energy drinks + vodka = you're underage, aren't you?"
8. IPA
"IPA drinkers are bearded dads who want to ask 15 questions and try 15 samples."
"In my bar, IPA drinkers are white adolescent men who judge white adolescent women for drinking pumpkin spice lattes."
"The pumpkin spice latte for white guys."
"Ordering an IPA is saying, 'I think I have a developed palate.'"
9. Rosé
"I wish I liked wine."
10. Fireball shots
"Fireball shots = underage/first-time drinker who can't wait to have an epic hangover story."
11. Absinthe
"If you order absinthe, I’m just going to assume that you have at least five leatherbound books from the 1800s and maybe, like, three friends."
12. Vodka
"Vodka is what every basic white person who thinks they’re a sophisticated drinker orders."
"Vodka on the rocks = someone who has been drinking long enough to enjoy the nasty burn of watered-down vodka with no mixer."
13. French 75
"You drink to forget, but in a ✨fancy✨ way."
"You are all out of fucks...but you’re making it fashion."
14. Manhattan
"A Manhattan says, 'I binge-watch Mad Men.'"
"A Manhattan is employed when the drinker wants you to know they are more mature than the early to mid-20s drinking habits of yesteryear, but still trying to get suitably shitfaced off three drinks. Specifying a Manhattan with rye, especially if you name a brand off the top of your head and don’t search the 100 whiskey-long menu and pick the second least expensive one, tells the server 'don't even bother carding me.'"
15. White Russian
"1) You don’t drink much, 2) You have great taste in movies, or 3) You drink A LOT, and I need to give you what you want immediately, if not sooner."
"Ordering this tells me that you have never worked in a bar before, so you possess a fool-hearted confidence that the milk in our reach-in has not expired."
16. A Blended Drink
"Anything blended = high maintenance and/or on vacation and you don't know what else to order."
"You've never worked in the service industry. I am so partial to a blended drink, but I can't bring myself to order one on even the hottest day or a rare vacation because I know how much it disrupts the staff's timing and ability to stay on top of everything for every other customer."
"Folks who like little plastic umbrellas or who literally do not give a fuck what they look like and just drink what they think tastes good (I respect that!)"
17. Long Island Iced Tea
"Long Island iced tea drinkers rarely tip and almost always ask us to 'make it strong.' It’s nearly an entire cup of liquor, how TF am I supposed to make it stronger?"
"Long Island drinkers are almost always garbage and bad tippers."
"Long Island drinkers always complain about their drinks. Always."
18. Stella Artois
"The guys who would try to push to the front of the queue and end their night out with a fight were always the guys who ordered a pint of Stella."
"The funny thing about Stella is that in North America, it's marketed as a classy import, and in the UK if you order it, you're basically outing yourself as trash. I didn't know that the first few times I ordered it in the UK.....awkward."
19. A Hurricane or Sex on the Beach
"The 20-year-old who slips by because all their friends are 21 and no one looked closely at the ID. Or a Boomer who rarely drinks, but they’re on vacation."
"I work at a bourbon bar with an extensive wine list, and I only start getting sus when someone orders a drink with a goofy name like Sex on the Beach. It screams that they're under 21 or don't go out much."
20. Mead
"Mead = medieval studies major. Refers to their ren faire costume as 'garb.'"
21. Fernet shots
"Where I've worked, that usually means 'I'm service industry too and I want you to know it.'"
"You're a bartender from SF."
22. Whiskey or Bourbon
"I want to brood/I want everyone to know how cool I am."
"Women who drink bourbon on the rocks are solid gold, and I'm going to go write a beautiful love song about them right now."
23. Martini
"You don't drink much but want to try a martini cause they look sophisticated. Then, you're gonna complain about the taste."
"Martini 'shaken, not stirred' = Idiot who knows nothing about booze and definitely has no idea what they're ordering. You will most likely not like it."
24. Old Fashioned
"Either someone who knows their booze really well or not at all, but they want to look sophisticated."
"My go-to is a bourbon Old-Fashioned. A bartender once told me this means I'm an old woman from the South."
That's all, folks! Remember — this is all in good fun, and frankly, I think it's safe to say every single one of us just got dragged. Order whatever you want, who cares! We are cringe but we are free!!!!
Bartenders of BuzzFeed: what stereotypes do you associate with popular drinks? Tell us all about them in the comments below or via this anonymous form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.