Here's A Message To Fellow Sexual Assault Victims Who May Be Struggling After Donald Trump's Win
by Natasha Jokic · BuzzFeedHot Topic
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Warning: Discussion of sexual assault and rape.
2024 was the year I finally reported the man who raped me. I now know that it’s also the year where a man who was found liable by a judge for rape, been publicly accused of sexual misconduct by 27 women, and bragged about grabbing women by the pussy was elected president. Again. It’s likely that he even won the popular vote. For millions of Americans, his treatment of women is not a deal breaker.
My morning has oscillated between crying and a feeling of numbness. I have trauma-related pain issues that have flared up for the first time in months. The thought that my values and work are meaningless has popped up numerous times. Why bother advocating for women and survivors when so much of the world is callously indifferent, if not celebratory of it? If that’s where you’re at, too, you’re not alone.
A phrase that keeps resurfacing is the Harris/Walz campaign slogan, “We are not going back.” I can’t deny that many things are about to get worse. But it’s a phrase where I can at least find some solace. I think about myself pre-Trump, fresh with trauma and quietly dying in my own shame and isolation. I am not that person anymore. I will not go back to being silent.
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In 2022, to mark the anniversary of #MeToo, movement founder Tarana Burke wrote, “More than any law that has been passed or policy that has been changed in the past five years, this movement has created visibility and community for those of us who thought we might go to our grave bearing a shame that was never ours to carry in the first place.”
Today, I am thinking about my community — the sisterhood of survivors in my life from whom I have never had to explain or shrink my pain. For years, I struggled with self-harm and destructive behavior. Now, I am at a point in my healing where I know I cannot succumb to such things, because I must be strong for others in my life who aren’t there yet. Strength doesn’t mean acting stoic or indifferent; it is recognizing the truth in the adage that I cannot swallow poison and expect the other person to die.
Stay alive. Even if it’s out of spite, stay alive. Be present. People care about you, even if your country doesn’t.
— The Green Kasey 🎃 (@RawbertBeef) November 6, 2024
I want other survivors to live. Post-Roe, post-election, it is a tall ask. I am writing this for anyone out there who feels triggered and overwhelmed by this news. Again: You are not alone. It’s perhaps a pithy sentiment in light of everything, but it’s true. Think of the loved ones in your life, ask for support, and give support in return. Today, I am calling my friends who I know will get it and going to a local (and free) group therapy. If you’re not able to, then know that I, a total stranger, want love, healing, and light for you. The visibility and community that Tarana wrote of is still out there.
all i can say is live. you have to live. if you’re trans, queer, a woman, bipoc, disabled, an immigrant: you must live. we have to support each other. we have to be visible and loud if and when we can. and above all else we have to live
— em ★ team tyler (@midwestmorph) November 6, 2024
The fight continues. We will not go back.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
Dial 988 in the US to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
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