I’m Cackling At These 27 Kids Who Absolutely HUMBLED Adults With Their Honesty, Because There’s No Coming Back From This
by Kanksha Raina · BuzzFeedPosted 4 minutes ago
Kids—they're unpredictable. One moment they're silly and vulnerable, asking to be held and comforted, and the next moment they're asking you why you're so ugly. Several Redditors have had this experience, and these threads (1, 2, 3) are proof. I've taken some of the best gems from these Reddit discussions to show you just how humbling it is to be around kids.
Here are the most ridiculous and humbling things kids have ever said to an adult.
1. "I work at an after school program with kids aged 5-12. I had recently had a miscarriage and told the kids I was no longer pregnant because they were excited about me giving birth in the future. I tried to let them know that "my baby stopped growing and it passed away in my tummy." Some of them were pretty bummed out after hearing the news. When I was leaving at the end of the day, I was saying bye to a few of them and one of the second graders who adores me yelled out, "Sorry again about your dead baby!" For some reason it made me laugh instead of any other emotion. After so much crying from the actual miscarriage, I started cracking up and just said thank you."
2. "One of my second graders: "The things that the colonizers did to the native Americans were awful—but that wasn’t me, I was born in Ohio.""
3. "Brat to my then pregnant wife: "Are you fat?" Minimally-embarrassed parent: "Jordan, is that how we talk?" Brat: "Sorry... Are you shaped like a ball?" I'll be paying for this later, kid. Thanks."
— aedroogo
4. ""Daddy, why do you have so many wives?" My 3-year-old, Disney princess movie obsessed daughter said to me. I was a single, 20-year-old dad with full custody, so naturally she saw me go through a few different girlfriends. That was the moment I decided things were gonna change."
5. ""Your dress is nice. Mine is better though." Said by a 6-year-old to me, at my wedding."
6. "My 5 year-old-granddaughter knew the speed dial number on my daughter's phone. Without my daughter's knowledge, she called me and left the following message: "Grandma, you are so very, very, very, very pretty, but you're old and you might die. At the end of her message, I heard my daughter yell, "Who are you talking to!?" Granddaughter quickly said, "I love you grandma. Bye." Click. I was 50 at the time."
7. "I was in my early thirties and my 12-year-old daughter made a comment about me being an old man. I said "Hey, you're gonna be old someday too, you know," and she smirked and said "Yeah, but not today.""
8. "A kid in a Cambodian orphanage came up to me and simply said "big boobs." I'm a man."
9. "Was having a father-daughter moment with my then 6-year-old. She was worried about something but was struggling to open up to me. Eventually she did. Me: you can always talk to me about anything. I'll always be there for you. Even when you're all grown up. She: If you're still alive."
— FrannyyU
10. "A dead serious 3-year-old little kid who straight up asked me "Why are you ugly?" No ill intent behind it, wasn't being mean. The little guy just wanted to know."
11. "Me (while visiting my sister and niece, and easing my bulk off the floor): "Ooh, I'm getting old." 5-year-old niece: "I can see that." Ouch."
12. "A couple weeks ago my fiancée and I got into an argument and my 9-year-old step daughter told me, "You aren't the best boyfriend, but you are a really good dad." Simultaneously made me really proud and feel really shitty."
— Anonymous
13. "Years ago, I brought my then-girlfriend to my parents' vacation house for the first time and introduced her to my entire family. I was grabbing a beer out of our little fridge in the garage when out of nowhere my 8-year-old nephew says, "She is way too good for you, Uncle Flip". I just stared at him and he just laughed. I married her, we are happy, but he still was not wrong."
— flip-top
14. "I was telling some students we need to hurry. A kindergarten student said, "We gotta put a little pep in our step." With some sass too."
15. """Are you having a baby or just fat?" I'm male."
16. "Not to me but to a friend who is a smoker. She was coughing a lot due to a cold and being a smoker. Child was three at the time. He looks at her and says, "You are going to die." We all looked shocked, and I tell him that's not nice to say to people. My friend however replies, "Well, then am I going to heaven or hell? And he says, "Just go to a doctor.""
17. ""I'm tired of this Bloody Shit Show." He was six. Me too, little dude. Me too."
18. ""Your head looks like a shape." Cut me deep, Benjamin. You cut me deep."
19. "I was watching my cousin's 5 year old in the Mall food court while she went to the restroom and the little shit said, quite loudly, "Don't touch my peepee!" Which caused everyone in about an 8-mile radius to look at me. I obviously had no intention of ever touching his "peepee", but I guess he got a lesson a few days back, that no one was allowed to touch it, and that whole talk, so he had just been telling people randomly not to do so for the past few days. I had not been informed of this. It was the most awkward and embarrassed I have felt in a long time. Didn't help that some 18-20ish group of black dudes a few tables over said "Yeah, you tell him little man." And most of the food court erupted in laughter."
— Ser_Bron
20. "Four-year-old nephew, setting the table for dinner — looks at me and announces, "You get the big fork, because you're the fattest!" And then proceeds to set my place with the BBQ fork. Lol."
21. "I went to China to teach at an English summer camp. It was a month-long experience, and during that time the children all got to pick American names. These ranged from Tommy to Robot. One day the kids thought it would be fun to give me a Chinese name. The host teacher mentioned that my real name is very close to the Chinese word for beautiful, so I should take that as my name. The kids all paused for a minute thinking about it, before one popped up and said, "Not so much beautiful, but still very nice." Thanks, kid."
— Anonymous
22. "Four-year-old boy looked at me dead serious and said, "No secrets, no smile" before he proceeded to put on his dad's sunglasses and walk away."
— Anonymous
23. ""My sister is just using you to make her ex-boyfriend jealous." Boy was that kid right too."
— Anonymous
24. "My mother and I were for some reason discussing cigarette smoking one day in front of my then-5 year-old daughter. At one point I said, "Ted Bundy was a chainsmoker." And out of nowhere my little kindergartener interjects, "But then he found a new hobby..." I was speechless for a second. Like really, how do you even know who this guy is?! I don't think I ever found out, either."
— Anonymous
25. "Kid: Daddy why don't you have boobs. Me: Boys don't have boobs. Kid: Why does uncle John have boobs?""
26. "Had a severe bout of depression and was sitting at the kitchen table with my head down because, y'know, depression, and my 3-year-old nephew comes up to me and whispers in my ear, "Shake your booty". Made me chuckle."
27. "Once, while helping in my mother's class room for a science experiment day, I was waiting in the classroom as the kids (third grade) started coming back in from recess, and one little boy looked at me and made a straight line over to me (I had never worked with these kids before), and stuck out his hand. "Hi, my name is Tyrone" he said. "Hello Tyrone, I'm Mr. Phantom, I'll be helping in class today," I said shaking his hand. He then let out a sigh and said "Yeah, I'm 8 years old, I don't have any kids, I have a girlfriend, but she's in a different class, so you know." I'm dumbfounded and just say "Oh, OK." he just nods and says "Yeah... so I'm gonna go sit down now." and then he goes and sits down. I had to walk outside and laugh."
— Anonymous
All I can think about is how I'd recover from these zingers if a kid ever said them to me. Hint: I wouldn't. Has a kid said anything to you that you absolutely can't forget? Tell us in the comments!
Responses have been edited for length and clarity.